There are a ton of emotions you go through while watching a movie. You feel joyful while watching a comedy, epic while watching Tom Cruise sneak into the most secure of locations in the MI movies and excited/anxious while watching a thriller.
So, naturally, one would expect that I’d be scared or terrified while watching a horror movie. Right? Well, let me tell you. Scared is the last thing I feel. In fact, I feel angry and frustrated whenever I am watching a horror movie.
If you’re thinking it’s because I’m badass, trust me, I am not! It’s because my sarcastic nature gets the better of me and instead of getting frightened by all the CGI ghosts or other ugly creatures, I sit there face palming myself, again not to shield myself from the horror.
That’s because people in horror movies do the dumbest things. So dumb that normal human beings wouldn’t even think of them in real life. Don’t believe me? Well, let me list some of them for you, right now!
1. Trip On Everything
When you are being chased by a murderer or a demon spirit of some kind, I can understand that the body doesn’t function that well due to fear. But there is also a mechanism called fight/flight that kicks in, in such situations.
We are literally hard-wired to run away if we decide not to fight the danger. To help with that the body is pumped with Adrenaline and for a short time, you can run much faster than you can normally do.
But it seems like people in horror movies are a different kind of human species than us because they keep on tripping on anything and everything that happens to be in their way. Small stone? Trip. Boxes? Trip. Fingernail? Trip. And then you know what happens next to them. Well at least they respect ’survival of the fittest’ in the movies!
2. Split Up
So, you are trying to find a lost friend or someone or something else. You are a group of 5 people searching a conveniently creepy house, but in the safety of each other.
Suddenly one of the ‘geniuses’ of the group needs to finish this ‘searching’ fast so that he can go home to watch the latest episode of Pretty Little Liars and so, he suggests “We should split up. We’ll cover more ground that way.”
Logic dictates that you should absolutely not do that. But it seems logic is a foreign concept for the producers of these kinds of horror movies because almost every single time, the group splits up and the masked killer with the machete kills them off one by one. Seriously, 5 against one masked killer is better odds. Oh wait, that would be logic.
3. Running Upstairs To Escape
In school, I was taught that if you jump off a roof of a building, you might die. Because gravity. Yet, somehow, in countless horror movies, we see people trying to escape an attacker by running upstairs.
Unless they have a jetpack up there or a helicopter somehow, their only option would be to jump off the building, in which case they would most probably die. Or, they could wait for the attacker and get stabbed, in which case they would definitely die.
But maybe they didn’t go to school as kids and it is exactly those kind of people that are always targeted in these kind of movies. If our attackers have a type, who am I to judge, right?
4. Investigating A Creepy Sound
If you are in a cabin in the woods, or in the safety of your cave, and hear a creepy sound outside, the first thing you would want to do is to go towards that sound, right? Wrong!
Logic dictates that you should never leave the place of your safety. What is the killer gonna do? Come in through the walls? If it’s a ghost that wants you dead, there is probably nothing you can do, and should just stay in anyways and accept your fate.
If it’s a human killer however, you should definitely stay in and wait it out. He will probably get bored and find other dumb people to kill that night. What makes it really funny in the movies is that one guy saying, “Did you guys hear anything? Let me go check.” Suffice it to say, he never comes back!
5. Not Leaving The Haunted House
This always happens in the movies but I was really surprised to know that this happens in real life too, thanks to the series called ‘A Haunting’ on the Discovery Channel.
First off, if you get a surprisingly cheap house that should have cost at least twice, that should be reason enough for you to suspect things. Secondly, if you hear doors closing by themselves or creepy footsteps or voices of little children, that should definitely be your signal to get the hell out of there immediately!!
But what do we see in movies? They go to sleep like it’s normal. Oh, the doll that roams in the hallway? Meh!! I will deal with that in the morning. It’s not like she can kill me or something. Can it?…..can it??
Loved every line of your post. There is something in every line that will roll tears out of my eyes laughing. I can't stop laughing because of the way you used sarcasm in all the 5 dumb reasons.
The best though was running up upstairs, you don't know gravity dude, If there is a killer or ghost, normal people would run out of houses not up where they would be trapped.
The doll that roams in the hallway is funny but may creep me out tonight.
At the end, the conclusion should be: Don't watch any horror movie with @sauravrungta or he will spoil your fears.
haha I don't think it was THAT funny but will still take the compliment :P
"The doll that roams in the hallway is funny but may creep me out tonight." That was my intention ;)
haha, not good intentions to creep me out.
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Gotta love the Adam's family :D
I can almost hear the theme music playing in my head!! :D
I started singing this LOL!
ta nana naa click click ta nana na click click LOL
Haha
Yup. Last week, scientists confirmed that cigarettes, a glass of milk and a jetpack are the three things most adult have in their sleeping room. But what about the batteries for the jetpack? These filmmakers don't think about anything..
yeah!! They must provide context where such batteries were developed and are now in use by every household! Without the context it would just be stupid!! :P
Absolutely hilarious post! I watched a haunting too on Discovery Channel, once or twice before I started questioning why they don't just leave the damn house!
And the screams... Don't get they get tired of screaming? They scream throughout the whole movie and never get phased.
Thanks man! Yeah, they NEVER leave!! If it were me, the slightest sound would have meant me running away for good. And they remain after 'screams' even?? They not human man!! :D
Haha
It was quite funny
Thank You for sharing
No, thank you for reading :)
How About Never Calling The Police?
Yeah, that too. But I doubt the police can be of any help. By the time they arrive, the murder already happens. Well, at least in the movies anyways haha!
Great post! thanks
Thank you! :)
Haha!
I always wonder about those 😂
yeah, lots more dumb things they do!! lol
Yea, like who chase the fucking creepy sounds man! Get the fuck outta there
ahah exactly. I would hide like a little girl if I hear something haha!
Great post! follow,upvote ,resteem and comment @roba I'll do the same for you.
Thank you :)
Definitely! That's why I don't like horror it differs real life a lot
Exactly!!
I am not a fan of horror movies. They never listen to me when I am yelling at the movie screen.
Yeah, they ignore me all the time too! How rude :(
true .. haha
dont watching horror movies or u will die!! haaahaha
Nah, I am sure I will survive :P
dont,horrorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr is crazyyy movie haha
He he. I love movies. One thing that I find amusing in pretty much any Hollywood sci-fi movie is the one where a big explosion occurs, or even better yet, a meteor or a shooting and then a big crowd standing right nearby behind a police barricade. :)
LOL yeah, that has to be another dumb thing in movies!! hahaha
After read this post. I am interestet to watch the horror movie @sauravrungta
haha go watch one! And notice all the things I mentioned :D
Almost :P
Without these things the horror movies could not exist, right? If you do not stumble, you'll be able to escape. If they do not separate, they are not attacked. If you run off into the street, the movie is over. If you do not investigate the noise, you will not be attacked. If you leave the haunted house, the movie ends. ;)
Unfortunately that is correct. I wish though they would create some new cliches though ;)
Entertaining post! One can't forgot that anytime someone gets in a car to escape the killer, the car stalls 😂
hahah yeah! and do not forget the keys that fall out of the hand!
Haha I never could figer out why they did that stuff
Maybe there is a single handbook that all producers follow! LOL
You missed one thing:
Let the kids sleep alone even when you suspect the house is Haunted.
haha right, that's another one!! LOL
Good job. Keep them coming=).
Thank you :)
I think we would get along so great! I have always wondered why these idiots run upstairs when they can just run out the door...I try NOT to watch these movies because they irritate me so much and these people are the dumbest people on earth...
haha exactly. That's why I've stopped watching horror movies. Too many cliches. And the jumpscares.... do not forget the jumpscares! LOL
The only scary movie that really freaked me out was Final destination. Have you seen that? I think they went up to number 17 or something....today while I drove home I drove behind a truck with some steel pipes on the back and I couldn't help thinking about that stupid movie. I could see those pipes coming straight through my windscreen...
haha I know that feeling very well!! Yes, I agree that final destination is not like the other horror movies. It is different and shows how the human body can be destroyed in various ways. Pretty useful for Biology students I'm sure ;) lol
Its awesome.
Thank you :)
BAHAHA. They always seem to be getting laid too. I mean I understand stress brings out those feelings -- but your pretty vulnerable with your pants down :)
LOL yeah, that's another definite way of getting yourself killed in a horror movie. For some reason, the attackers are also always the pervs!!
Yep, you nailed this one!
Thank you :D
Ghosts drink alcohol ?
I hope not!! They are deadly as it is, imagine what they will do if drunk! :D
haha
The dumbest thing I usually do in horror movies is master bate. Something about inappropriate situations that really get me going. Church is even better, but you usually get arrested instead of just thrown out.
LOL The most hilarious thing I've read today!!!
#6 Take advantage of the situation they are in on their own. Like fighting them off.
exactly! People forget that the murderer is flesh and bones too and they can be ...... handled. I would karate chop the s^&* out of them ;)
Haha great observations!
And then we have the whole "bad acting" element.
Scary acting indeed!
Ahhh!! Don't even get me started on the bad acting. That would make up for an entirely new post!! LOL
Not grabbing the sharpest thing in the house. It amazes me how characters rarely weapon-up.
Great post!
Exactly. Everyone's got a knife or two in the kitchen. Just grab it and start shoving it in their eyes! Even if you die, you would've gone fighting!! LOL
Omg Saurav!
A fingernail!
That made me laugh so hard!!
I'm waiting for a practical Horror movie!
That day may never come though :P
haha yeah, people in horror movies are always falling left and right. Especially in the zombie ones! It's like they want to get eaten. Oh well. Their choice! :P
You're right. No practical horror movies. Cause they would need to follow logic for that. ;)
That and the fact that none of them have ever seen a horror movie. HOW JUST HOW?!
haha yeah, looks like they live in a different dimension where there are no horror movies!! :D
i am reading your posts from the morning. and i got one thing about your posts that all are interesting.you are doing a great job. upvoted and followed you mate. hoping to get one follow back from you. and about the mistakes in a horror movie, i hate the 4th one. that is the worst.
Thanks for the kind words brother! I really appreciate it :)
you deserve it dude.
Great post! hahaha I cannot comprehend how they walk in the dark searching for what caused a sound leaving their back wide open.. I would stay in a corner in my freaked out karate stance waiting for a miracle :P
haha I agree! both about the walk in the dark and the karate stance ;)
I would hate to sit next to you during my fav movie and I am just like you lol. You should have seen my reaction when I saw the newest chuckie movie. I wanted to stand clap and cheer Chuckie on when he decide to start his role. Of course I grew up watching the movies so to see him as an adult after all these years really did something for me.
haha, no, I'm fun at the movies ;) lol
followed/upvoted/laughed. Pretty good...Every time I see a horror movie, I think about these things. So hard to make a good horror movie anymore. Well written
haha I know right! They are all just so full of clichés!! Thanks for the kind words :)
Another dumb thing is when you manage to beat the bad guy, but not assure he is dead by hitting him again and just let it there so later he comes and kill you :D
IKR!! Always triple check!! Shoot him in the head just to be sure!! LOL
hahaha ,Exactlyyy ,have you seen scream? the door is right there and she is running towards the stairs..
haha IKR!!!! That' the kind of dumb thing they do lol
lol ,I'm going to follow you ,your articles are awesome
thanks a lot :) You have an interesting blog yourself. Gonna follow you back!
my pleasure :D