Laughing my ass off big time. Some of my favorite quotes, jokes that I have created over my life time plus others. # 3

in #funny7 years ago (edited)

Posting 5 daily quotes/ jokes. Hope you enjoy!

Rang the Bitcoin hotline yesterday! She told me to

Young couple in a confession box. Young man to Father. "Forgive us father for we have sinned. We preformed pre -marital sex."

Father to couple-"What happened?" Young man- I couldn't help myself father, the way she flicks her hair, her wet top
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clinging to her breast and she bent over in front of me to pick up her water bottle. I just had to do her then and there!"Young woman- "That muscular chest and strong arms, I so wanted him to do me from behind!"

Father to couple- If you continue to engage in pre-marital sex, I will have to ban you from the Church!!!!! Young man to father- We both understand, we've been banned from every gas station forecourt in town!

If a woman were to sit on your face while making love, wouldn't that be the best form of suffocation? At least you would die with a smile on your face?

Hello from Mr Bean. I still find this bloodly funny, even after all these years!
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American Indian village. Child about to be born within a Teepee. Chief sitting outside when he is approached by young boy. Young boy to Chief- "Chief, you name every child that is born in the village. How do you come up with their names?
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Chief to boy-" Well son, I look out beyond yonder, If I see the willows swaying in the breeze, if it is a girl, I name her Whispering Willows. I look out yonder and if I see a wild stallion bucking and trashing, I name boy, Crazy Horse. I look out yonder and if I see baffalo running, I name boy Running Bull. You are very inquisitive today. Why do you ask these questions, Two Dogs Fucking?"

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Check out my other funny post

https://steemit.com/life/@skytronia/laughing-my-f-king-ass-off-big-time-2

https://steemit.com/vincentb/@skytronia/laughing-my-ass-off-big-time-some-of-my-favorite-quotes-jokes-that-i-have-created-over-my-life-time-plus-others-slap-that-ass

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Images source from free images, pixabay, google images. Mr Bean gif sourced from the the following:https://www.google.com.au/search?dcr=0&biw=1364&bih=500&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=DeuHWuqLIsTM0gT8s7zACQ&q=HELLO++ONE+FINGER+FROM+MR+BEAN+MOVIE+IMAGES&oq=HELLO++ONE+FINGER+FROM+MR+BEAN+MOVIE+IMAGES&gs_l=psy-ab.12...37965.47280.0.49713.18.18.0.0.0.0.340.2375.2-9j1.10.0....0...1c.1.64.psy-ab..8.0.0....0.LV_t5b_87Lo#imgrc=ci6X5gRQy_crbM:
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