Okay, what the hell. I've been drinking Lipton for my entire life. I always assumed that the bitter taste was part of the tea flavor. Holy shit was I wrong.
Fellow Americans, we have been lied to. I'm not talking about UFOs or deep state conspiracies.
I'm talking about how much American black tea sucks ass. I mean it is really terrible. But the problem is that you can't tell until you've had tea from pretty much anywhere else that's not America. I don't even know why it's so bad. It's as if they collected all of the old used tea bags in England, pissed on them, let them dry out for 6 months, then re-bagged them and shipped them to the States.
Some people are probably already up in arms by the mere fact that I could even suggest that something in America is not the best in the world. I apologize in advanced, but it is just the truth. We are being deceived by the evil Corporate bastards at Lipton Corp. They rub their hands together and watch us. They cackle menacingly while saying "Drink. That's right Drink my friends! It's delicious!"
So a friend of mine from Europe asked me:
Hiya, Steemlet! You 'all right mate?
And I responded yeah, I'm fine. Do I look like something is wrong?
With a slightly puzzled look, he offered me some tea. Then he did something really gross - he started to pour milk into it. OMG! So after looking at it in disgust for a few minutes I took a sip. I sat there for a few moments looking blankly into space.
Then it hit me all at once... I jumped up, swung my arms out sending the tea and several flower pots flying in all directions.
I then screamed out in a slobbering rage "Why God? Why!!! How could this be?!? It's all a lie!"
After another moment of silence, I dropped to the floor and sobbed inconsolably for about 3 1/2 hours. I had finally seen through the veil. No longer could I hide behind Old Glory in ignorant defiance.
Don't wait until it's too late. Get yourself out there and have a proper cup of milky tea. But be prepared, my countryman, the truth hits like a brick.
Lipton is not the worst tea you can have (not the best either). Comparing to what I used to drink, Lipton was the good option. Also, if your tea is bitter, you may have steeped it for too long - that happens even to the best of teas.
Upvoted because it is true the lipton isn't the worst. But it is pretty terrible once you've had any quality British tea. In fact, English generic supermarket brand is even better.
My wife is from the UK and introduced me to good tea. In comparison, Lipton is bitter with any amount of steeping. My guess is that the leaves are too mature, or pehaps it is a different breed.
Ok, fair enough. Not the worst tea ever, but not even in the same league as PG Tips.
'It's as if they collected all of the old used tea bags in England, pissed on them, let them dry out for 6 months, then re-bagged them and shipped them to the States.'
damn you've finally figured us out.
for the best of british, source some yorkshire tea gold label if you can. definitely not been pissed on. peace & tea.
Hehe. I'll have to give it a try. As of now, PG is my favorite. You can actually buy it here in the US in a lot of supermarkets now. You'll get a kick out of this, it is sold in the ethnic foods section of the store.
Now if only I could get a hold of some good tiger loaf. Our bread is pretty bad too. I spent a lot of time at Tesco eating eclairs when I was there too haha
ethnic foods lol. well i suppose it comes from india or near there. yeah tiger bread is yummy - must be a bakery that does something similar if you live in a big city?
Well, I couldn't find anything that had quite the same consistency as Tiger bread, so I just learned how to make it myself.
This particular loaf, I didn't put the tiger topping rice flour mixture on, instead I shredded some cheese on top and baked it. The bread is pretty spot on flavor-wise.
that looks pretty close! hope it tastes as delicious :-)
if you want to email me your mailing address, i'll try and send you some yorkshire teabags (if they get past the tsa, nsa, mi5, russian bots etc.) - [email protected]
TRUTH!
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