Not so long ago, gender was something used in grammar. Then the psychological community used gender to define personality. A number of years ago, I was disgusted when a school board changed the word sex for gender on a registration form. This wasn't because of political correctness it was because of as you said people being Victorian (which is really ironic because Victoria really really liked sex).
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Thanks for the comment. I'm not sure the psychological community adopted gender to define personality, but in the study of personality differences between genders were found, and hastily attributed to cultural causes. Much suffering came from this Blank Slate position within the psychological and medical communities, John Money being a leading figure there.
To anticipate some points I'll make, here are some bullet points:
Generally speaking ... if it doesn't affect me I don't worry about it.