It's just delightful how life works when we let the callings of our souls guide us. Intention is such a sacred thing. I was so scared to leave my soul sucking career. It was one of the most heartbreaking decisions I've ever made. I had nightmares for weeks. I felt like such a failure. It was a field that I had passion for, working with people I loved but the expectations were too high and the company was crumbling around me and my all was no longer making even a drop in the bucket. Now on the other side I have this empty slate. Everything I love and have passion for is crowding around me lobbying for my time. It's overwhelming but the feeling is a different kind of stress. It really has made me look at the patterns of expectations I push on myself. So much to do and what seems like so little time. At the end of the day when I put my head on the pillow, I may be exhausted, but it is a completely different feeling than the exhaustion I felt before. Going to sleep knowing that I am spending my energies reinventing myself rather than being raped of my energy for someone else's livelihood is priceless.
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Same same same! I am a social worker. I was a therapist in a school. I gave notice in December but didn't finally leave until just a couple weeks ago. The feeling is similar . I am going through the same process. I am trying meditation to help me align better .. but yes I feel more whole now attending to my own wishes for the first time really since my son was born 16 years ago. It's difficult facing my fears and self sabotage is real...but every day I have little triumphs treating myself better around those high expectations! I feel like a kid in a candy shop as far as all the things I want to do, I get overwhelmed about what to pick.