Thank you for sharing and thank you for your encouragement. This was actually the second time that I had a strong visit from her. During the first visit my youngest son was calling to me to wake up and make him breakfast but I was trying to stay asleep to stay with her. I got to hold her and when I woke up my hands were still warm from holding her. It was very healing.
I also lost my first best friend, my big sister six years ago from a GBM brain tumor. It was devastating.
My greatest lesson in this is that sadness and happiness are not mutually exclusive. I’ll never not miss my baby but I can experience happiness still.
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Happiness is like a cloud a cloudless sky coming out of nowhere, the middle of nowhere, from the corner of the screen. It comes when we least expect it. I keep a dream journal and I write them down as soon as I wake up as often as I can the past few years.