10 Men Get Brutally Honest About Watching Their Partners Give Birth

Labor is hard AF for women, so it's hard to feel any sympathy for guys who are like, "I was so exhausted after my wife gave birth!" or, "OMG, there was so much blood!" But they can also be really supportive and sweet through the whole thing. Cosmopolitan.com asked 10 men to reveal what it's really like to watch their wives give birth. Here are all the gory and adorable details.

"The birth of our first child smelled like beef jerky." —Jordan, 32
"I watched my wife tear apart like tissue paper! I didn't know skin could do that. The midwife moved the mirror real fast but I still saw it all." —Nano, 30
"I'd heard several people say that they couldn't bear to watch their wives give birth,
so I had no idea what to expect. Blood? Poop? Blood and poop? As I watched my first
daughter come into the world though, I experienced the following emotions, in this
order: (1) Tears. So many tears. I had never cried like that, and I don't think I've cried
that hard since. (2) Why is my child blue? Is she supposed to be blue? Can we get a
doctor in here who will acknowledge the fact that my daughter is blue? Is she OK?
Oh, she's crying, OK, we're good. (3) Holy crap, my wife is a badass. She just pushed a
human out of her body! Thank god men aren't the ones giving birth, because we'd
have gone extinct millennia ago!" —Stephen, 32
"I would rather go through that much pain and work myself than watch my wife go
through it. Watching the person you love be in that much pain and knowing it's partly
your fault is horrible." —Craig, 30
"Watching my wife give birth was exhausting, which isn't something you're really
allowed to say when you're not the one pushing out a baby, but it's true. For almost 24
hours, I had to push on my wife's back and let her squeeze my hand during
contractions. Sometimes, I literally had to hold her up, and I was so tired I was literally
falling asleep during contractions. When our baby finally arrived, I felt like I got hit by
a truck. My wife got this crazy burst of energy from all the birth endorphins, but not
me. I have never been so tired in all my life." —Thomas, 31
"I wasn't sure what to expect, but I wouldn't change a thing. I saw my daughter's first breath, I watched an event I managed to avoid during high school health class (It wasn't that bad!), and I witnessed a kind of strength and resilience in my wife that left me in awe of what she could do. I can't imagine not being there. Were there times I was tempted to look away? Sure. But I'm glad I didn't. That experience made the bond between us even stronger. Also: Placenta. Ewwww." —Hemant, 33
"I was determined to not get freaked out during the delivery of our first child. I had
heard the horror stories, taken the classes, and seen the videos. My mindset was
basically: Get over it, dude. Your part is easy. If my wife can endure an all-natural
childbirth in an eerily zen-like state, then I sure as heck better be able to hang for the
grand finale. Our midwife asked if I wanted to catch the baby, and I couldn't have been
more excited and nervous — 'What if I drop him?!' I thought. I shook off the fear,
gloved up, and assumed my best (and first) babycatching stance. Once he started to
crown, I remember thinking, 'That doesn't look so bad.' Then, my wife pushed again
and I realized that what I thought was crowning was just the tip of the tip of the
iceberg — total cannonball in a drinking straw situation. 'OHMYGODHOW?!?!' I
thought. 'THERESNOFREAKINGWAY.' But come he did, as perfectly as anyone could
wish for. I handed him to his mom, cut the cord, and was suddenly, officially, a dad. I
learned several things that day, two of them being: My son inherited his mother's
family's enormous head gene, and that liberal, diligent use of mineral oil might be the actual miracle of childbirth." —Nathan, 37
"I stayed behind the curtain during my wife's C-section. But after our son was
ripped out of her abdomen, I went around to watch them weigh him. I accidentally
looked at my wife and OHMYGOSH there is a gaping dark hole in my wife!!! Why did I
look!?!" —Eugene, 35
"Ever since I heard my wife give birth, all future pain is related to pregnancy, on an
audible scale. I listen to my wife's groans of pain and know exactly how much it hurts
her by the pitch, volume, and octave. After all, I have over 50 hours of experience after three births. I now know that my wife has a much higher pain tolerance than me. Signing up
to do that three times? No thanks!" —Andy, 32
"Watching my wife bring our son into the world, and consequently, his birth, was
one of the most stunning, ineffably beautiful things I've ever seen. I have a hard time
understanding why men would look away or find it harmful to their romantic
relationship later on. Women are human transformers, and childbirth is without doubt
one of the best examples of this fact. I always tell people they can delete photos and
footage, but they can never go back in time to recreate it. Trust me, now or later, you'll
want that experience captured. It's the moment your whole life changed." —Charlie, 34