Don't apologize. I appreciate the open words!
I know how it is... but you shouldn't give up listening to your heart. Too many of us fall under the pressures of the materialistic reality and the existential struggle under crony capitalism. And that's exactly why the problems persist.
I know it sounds silly, and faced with the daily struggle it often seems pointless, but do something for your soul every now and then, without it, you will become grey and wither away... even if you could afford all the modern comforts
Thank you whoever you are.
Actually, I'm @fraenk ;)