Respect your spouse. If you want to have a healthy marriage, then you have to make your spouse feel like your equal and take his feelings into account whenever you’re making a decision or just going about your day. If you treat your spouse like his opinions don’t really matter or like you always have the final say, then you’re bound to have an imbalance in your marriage. Make sure that you give your spouse’s views the same seriousness that you give your own and that you take the time to listen to your spouse and make him feel like you care.[1]
Work to be kind, loving, and understanding to your spouse. If you’re having a bad day and snap at him, make sure you apologize; give him the basic respect he deserves instead of thinking you can do whatever you want because you’re married.
You should also respect your spouse’s privacy. Don’t go snooping through his phone or computer if you expect him to feel respected.
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Work to keep your relationship in the present. If you care about your spouse and want to have a healthy and productive relationship, then you should avoid getting hung up on past mistakes you both made or keep reminding your spouse of his failures; instead, work on reinforcing positive behavior, enjoying your present time together, and thinking of all you have to look forward to. If you really care about your spouse, then you will be considerate of his feelings and won’t bring up the past just to get a reaction out of him.
Though it’s not always easy to let go of the past, you shouldn’t bring it up out of spite. Remember that your spouse is a living, breathing person too and that you shouldn’t bring up the past just to hurt him.
Take the time to listen. Listening is one of the best ways to be considerate toward your spouse. Don’t just zone out when your spouse is talking about his day or wait for him to finish talking so you can say what you want to say; make an effort to really hear him out and to care about what he’s telling you. When you’re having a real conversation, put away your phone, make eye contact, and be considerate enough to really listen.
Of course, we all zone out from time to time. If that happens during a conversation, don’t pretend like you’re following; apologize and figure out what your spouse was really saying.
Ask your spouse questions to show that you really do care; you don’t want him to feel like he’s boring you.
Sometimes, all your spouse needs after a hard day is for someone to listen to him. You don’t have to feel compelled to give advice all the time.
Give priority to your spouse. Though you don’t need to make your life revolve completely around your spouse, you have to remember that when you and your spouse decided to get married, you wanted to be a priority in each other’s lives. You should make sure to honor that decision and to make all of your big decisions with your spouse in mind, making sure that you try to do what’s best for you as well as for the person you are married to.
If your family or friends aren’t getting along with your spouse, don't take sides against your spouse, even if you think that your spouse is being unreasonable ; make sure you’re considerate of your spouse’s feelings and that you give him the love and support he deserves.
Maintain strong communication. If you want your marriage to be a happy one, then communication is key. You and your partner should be able to talk graciously to each other about your thoughts—especially about things for the two of you to agree upon or do together. Doing this daily helps foster communication and maintain trust between partners to keep your marriage healthy and strong.
Never say things in anger intentionally meaning to hurt your partner. Cruel words you said but didn't mean may be hard for your spouse to forget—they can cause lasting damage to your relationship. If you do end up saying something you don’t mean, make sure you apologize.
When arguing, keep to the subject and don't personally attack your partner.
In order to have strong communication, you have to be aware of your partner’s thoughts and moods even before you have a conversation. You should be able to read your partner’s body language and expression to be able to tell whether something is wrong and to feel comfortable bringing it up.
Don’t break marital confidences or use them as a weapon during an argument. If your partner trusted you with something very private and important, then you shouldn’t undermine that trust by reporting it to someone else just because you didn’t really think about it. If it was something painful and personal, then don’t use it as ammunition during an argument, or your partner will be betrayed. Be considerate of the fact that your partner trusted you with important information and make sure to honor that trust.
You should be the person your spouse trusts more than anyone in the world. Don’t do anything to jeopardize that trust. If you do make a mistake, make sure to apologize for it.
Be attuned to your partner’s moods. If you sense that something is wrong with your partner, take time to embrace him and ask what's the matter—maybe that's the time he or she needs your attention the most. Don't ignore that opportunity. If your partner isn’t ready to talk, then you don’t have to push it and make things worse, but you should show that you’ll be there when he is ready and willing to open up.
If you and your partner are out in a social setting and you notice that something isn’t quite right, don’t ask about it in front of everyone; pull your partner aside to show that you’re really paying attention.
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