Information
To go through some sort of suffering once or twice is inevitably. Because it's inevitable it might be a good idea to learn how to cope with it. Learning to coping with suffering is learning to cope with the pain before it becomes suffering. The pain can be enhanced to unbearable levels, which for people who have been depressed know how it feels like. A mental state where all hope seems missing and the whole world seems meaningless. This mental state is a state we enhance by ourself. We enhance it by resisting the pain. By resisting the pain, we are transforming it into the unbearable feeling of suffering. The more we resist, the more we suffer.
As I wrote in my diary while living in a spiritual sanctuary in South America
Inspiration
As the suffering is a way worse feeling than pain, it might be worthy to learn how to avoid this aweful state of being. Resistance is a defense mechanism build into our brain. It is a deep rooted pattern, that we have to change for us to get a relief from the suffering. I don't think we can avoid pain, but we can decrease the chances of suffering. If we start to accept that we are feeling pain, we are removing resistance. It is the process of denying the pain that is causing the suffering. When we stop denying that we are suffering or stop telling ourself that we shouldn't feel this way, we heal much faster. By looking inwards, feeling the pain, and accepting it, by welcome the sadness like you would welcome happiness, you will feel more free. You will heal faster and better. You will be happier. You will feel more peaceful. You will be free. I am not saying I can do this perfectly, but I find it very helpful, to really feel the pain. It's no more than just another feeling passing by the endless stream of feelings.
Ignition
Give it a try. Try to really feel the pain when you are feeling sad. Try to observe why you are actually suffering, and you will probably come to the answer that you are telling yourself that you shouldn't feel this way, or some other excuse for you not to feel like this. This is all resistance. It comes in many forms. When I am feeling sad, I really try to feel it. Don't be afraid to feel it. What do you have to lose? Take back the power!
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Thank you.
Nice post. It reminds me of the Buddhist proverb, The Arrow. Thich Nhat Hanh puts it well:
"If an arrow hits you, you will feel pain in that part of your body where the arrow hit; and then if a second arrow comes and strikes exactly at the same spot, the pain will not be only double, it will become at least ten times more intense.
The unwelcome things that sometimes happen in life—being rejected, losing a valuable object, failing a test, getting injured in an accident—are analogous to the first arrow. They cause some pain. The second arrow, fired by our own selves, is our reaction, our storyline, and our anxiety. All these things magnify the suffering. Many times, the ultimate disaster we’re ruminating upon hasn’t even happened."
Wow. Very well said. Thank you for your reply, and thank you for reading.