It's easy to overlook those outside of our inner circle of family and friends as we gather together for the holidays. We can fall into the trap of assuming everybody has a place to go. It may not even cross our minds if the neighbor who moved in across the hall last month or hard working new co-worker has family or friends nearby while we are rushing through the chaos of the season.
When we go about our holiday preps, our minds naturally gravitate to those in our tribe.
Over two million elderly in UK and US will spend Christmas alone. Some people will choose to be alone on Christmas day because they are burgeoned by the empty feeling from the loss of their life partner, and are unable to get into the holiday spirit. But that does not make the day any easier.
But Christmas loneliness doesn't just affect our elders. Millennials are twice as likely to experience loneliness during the season, according to a report by MIND.
The loneliness epidemic is as deadly as smoking and obesity and is only growing. The additional stress and health issues the chronically lonely are facing is staggering, considering we are social beings and need to be together.
In an increasingly "connected" world, we seem to be moving toward a "disconnected" life.
When some do, they can withdraw and become silent. It is the body’s natural instinct to “hide” when it is injured, and loneliness and depression are the worst kinds of injuries- they are wounds to the soul.
If you see somebody withdrawing, this may be a sign of inner hurt. And asking them will usually get you a “fine” response with a smile. I will admit there is a fine line when it comes to insisting someone accompany you in festivities. Some people need that push because they may feel like it’s an imposition. But never put someone into a position where they are uncomfortable.
Be there, be open, and be welcoming. That is the most important thing you can do. Just knowing that you are not alone and there is someone who cares makes a big difference.
Check on the elderly in your neighborhood, bring a Christmas card as an opener for a friendly discussion. Let the recently divorced coworker know she can drop in on your casual get together. Drop a friendly email to make your deployed friend smile.
Pick up your phone and call the person who is on your mind. Being there to talk to is a gift you can give that will be treasured long after the decorations have been put away.
Brighten someone’s Christmas this year by letting them know they are not alone.
Please, if you are lonely, reach out to someone. There are support groups, talk with your doctor. And trust me- the more the merrier! Ask around for parites and get togethers, people want you to join :)
What are some ideas? Share in the comments!
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With all the upcoming and enforced "holiday cheer," these are important points to remember. Thank you for putting the thoughts themselves down in words. Just giving them physical (digital) form gives them their own kind of life, power and magic. I figure you know what I mean. Have a lovely day.
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Such a beautiful post. Unfortunately too many people go into the holiday season alone. I have been been there when I was going to university and didn't have money to go home and decided to stay and work more hours at the job I was at. Sure I made a little extra cash but I really missed my friends and family. It really put me in a dark state of mind and I am usually pretty peppy you can say. I eventually worked through it but some don't.
A simple phone call to say hi can make a world of difference, great post!
It really does put your mind in a dark place.
Yup, a phone call seems so simple, but it can mean so much :)
Thank you <3
Great post @arbitrarykitten
The main objective of holidays should be spreading love rather than meaningless fun.One word,one smile even one text can mean a lot to the people who are alone!
Absolutely! Just a kind word and a genuine smile :)
This advice might be especially important during this time of the year, but I think it's almost as important all other times of the year as well. We get stuck in our little bubbles and forget what others experience looks like.
You are so correct. With loneliness becoming an epidemic and causing health problems resulting in death, this proves that is the case. We need to step out and embrace more in real life...
I will never again be lonely or depressed. @enchantedspirit has promised to continue beating me until my morale improves. For those beyond her reach there is your post.
Trust me, I'm a doctor.
Good woman. Someone has to keep you in line ;)
It is such a sad thought, thinking about people who will be alone at Christmas, especially those who are homeless etc, it becomes just another day with no meaning. You shared some beautiful ideas there @arbitrarykitten, maybe even life saving ones.
It means so much to me that I can give a gentle awareness nudge. Life is all about the little things. And sometimes people with large families and a hectic December may not even realize how painful it is to be alone. Compounded by constant reminders of belonging and 'together' everywhere you look, Christmas can be devastating for those with noone to share it with.
It is good to remember not everyone has a place to go or people to celebrate with during the holiday season. We usually open our home to people we know will be alone for Christmas and New Years. Christmas dinner is always fun. Sometimes we have as few as 18 and other times as many as 42! All are welcome and everyone leaves sated and happy. New Years is a an open house with food being served all day. People come and go as they like. It too is always a good time.
What time is dinner?
lol ;)
That is so amazing of you! I am the same way, my house is where all the kids hang out after school. I work at home so I can do this. I open my home to "strays" for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Two and four legged, no matter ;)
Life is just more gratifying this way. When my kids were growing up our house always had boodles of kids all the time. At least I knew where my kids were! lol
@arbitrarykitten This Post brings UP some very valid Points. I like Christmas Time but I really have Never enjoyed the STRESS of Consumerism that it brings. I feel that if someone wants to give it really does not matter if it is a date on a calendar.
It irks me when I see Christmas stuff start replacing the September Back to School goods on the shelves. That's waaay too early.
I too absolutely love Christmas. And I understand the retailers need to avoid paying the tax man come Jan 1st, but this practice has totally wiped out the true meaning of the season. Now it's buy buy buy. There are bots that purchase all the "hot" toys of the year and resell them at thousands of dollars more. And parents are buying.
And then everyone wonders why we live in an increasingly entitled society.
Thank you for posting. I hope it does create some awareness to help others.
Thank you for reading :) I hope so, one lonely person in pain is too many
I agree!
Hugs to you my friend <3
Thank you.
My pleasure <3
cheers to all and have a very merry christmas. hope that everyone enjoys this season of togetherness most specially the elderlies. very inspiring post @arbitrarykitten.
Thank you hun
OMG this is so true! For those with nowhere to go or people to remind them that they matter, this is the worst part of the year. I hope I can make a difference this year. Thanks for the sobering post, @arbitrarykitten.
Thank you for taking this to heart <3
i love Christmas
Me too <3
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What a great thing to post about !
I could definitely go into that space - if I was in the UK.
Fortunately I'm not, and don't even think about it.
Woooohoooo!
A really good subject to bring up - It is a very real thing for a lot of people.
It is good to be in a happy place :)
Gratzie' <3
strange you should post this. I actually feeling very 'xmasy' at the moment (girlfriend making things to put on xmas tree- yeah I know she's Buddhist - she doesn't care - she loves xmas lol)
Haven't felt festive for.........a long time
I think your girlfriend and I would get along!
I am trying to get into the spirit myself. I have never had to force it, but it's been a really hard year... I think that may have something to do with it...
I like how you say we are so disconnected in this otherwise very connected world, it's so true!
So true, just a phone call can make such a difference to someone's day.
Great post!
Before cell phones, people were forced to see each other more ;)
We post our lives on social media, but that is no replacement for real conversation and getting together
Absolutely!
I've wondered occasionally if the proliferation of the social media can make people more lonely than they might otherwise be. It's easy to look in on other people's lives which they are portraying as involved and exciting and all their 'contacts' or 'friends' and feel that your own life doesn't measure up, particularly if you are having a hard time connecting off line as well.
This shows some serious insight. I've always tried to keep my eyes open for others who are suffering. I too suffer so I know the feeling. Thanks for posting this. I found it on the mermaid brigade. =)
Hugs to you hun <3
I am new to the Mermaid Brigade, and liking it so far :)
receives hug eagerly
Yes it seems like a cool discord so far
=)
It's a year round issue that gets much more visibility in December. I will never understand how families can leave one of their own members 'out in the cold' so to speak - but I guess many people don't have families at all
Cheers
One thing that has been brought to my awareness is the foster system. There has been a great increase in child protective services removing children from their families in the last couple decades. When a child turns 18, they "Exit Out" of the foster system immediately, even if it's in the middle of the school year. The foster home no longer gets a check for housing the teen and must evict them.
These people have bounced from house to house and already have no real family or sense of belonging.
That sounds a bit messed up!
I guess that if you get one of the 'good' foster families then you have really lucked out!
At Christmas time I guess I always think more of the elderly at home alone, but it is people of all ages that are affected
Oh it is terribly messed up. Sometimes a foster family will keep a child on the downlow, if they really want them to finish high school. But they are not supposed to so it's like harboring almost! But yeah, it affects any age...
You have such a sweet heart. Such a great reminder to reach out.
Awe! I'm just me hun. I cannot do much myself, but I hope my words can be an inspiration to bring joy to many <3
Timely post, a lot of people are so busy stuck on a screen it can be easy to disconnect......not surprised about Millenials, nice read
b.a.
Thanks hun :)
Excellent post with good info especially in this season!
If we see someone with a sad look on Christmas we should make sure to give them a smile and try to brighten their day!
Yes! A simple smile is profoundly helpful :)
Yes! A simple smile is profoundly helpful :)
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Thank you for shedding light on this issue. Everyone deserves to know others care at the holidays. And it's easy to get caught up in the excitement and activity, and forget that some people are sitting alone. Paying a visit to a senior care center is a great thing to do. I used to take my Girl Scout troop to sing carols, and we could see the joy it brought to the residents!
Oh yes, that sounds so sweet!
I been down on times for the holidays as well. Such sad times... Keep making people aware!