In my thoughts I always see my face in its former glory and in fact I believed that I am a good-looking guy if not from my very slim body which is the effect of an underlying disease many years ago before I became a dialysis patient.
Then in the course of years my body went into a morbid transformation due to my system imbalances particularly about my calcium in the bones throwing in the blood until an exponential changes occur especially in my face and backbone.
It is just funny that some of my friends treated me differently with weird look in their faces upon seeing me while I am at the wake of a recently deceased friend. I thought to myself why.
Then I looked at the mirror because I usually do not use mirrors and I was surprised to see that my face already had morphed to some degree. I nearly didn't recognized my face on that instance.
At that time I was already humped on my back with a little difficulty in walking but can still walk. I just tried to ignore what is happening to my body until one morning in the bathroom my sides/flanks felt a severe pain and I was bedridden for about a week.
After that the exponential changes occurred on my height and my face. My mouth began to gape slowly while I am sleeping so at first I am putting some tape on it just to shut it while I am sleeping until the tapes just can't hold it shut anymore.
That was the time that I was in pain on my back and my appearance went ugly that it freaks whoever sees me and that made me shy away from people to the point that I do not accept visitors that are not close to me anymore even to some of my relatives.
That is why I miss my former appearance because it made my life lonely, with friends flew away from me and my social life went in the drain. I could not go out and talk to people and live my life like in the former years, now all gone because of my wretched appearance.
How we used to look... idk never had pride in my appearance. Rather, delicate care was given to the gentle being inside. Seeing you grow over last few months is encouraging. Seeing you rejoice in small but significant battles, those coming to know the Lord. Shows that inner being, whom is handsome and in which time cannot corrupt.
Be strong, keep growing.
Best of wishes 🙏✌
I think losing one's 'looks' is part of life whether or not one is sick.
Believe that Ur the best bro