I slept all day today maybe because I am having an anxiety attack, no appetite, didn't like the food, having a lot to think about my condition, or all of the above mentioned. Anxiety is a taste-perversing condition, your mouth will dry up and sense of smell and taste temporarily gone if not very affected with a sustained attack.
I think I really have all the reasons to get sad and blue, it is because of the obvious reasons. No matter I want not to worry the picture of my situation in life and the future for me just keeps on going in front of my face to see, that reality really is hard to accept no matter how hard I am trying to fight and not think about it.
Leontiasis is so unfair, why does it still want to bring me down? Why can't it stop on its tracks no matter how much expenditure that I am doing just to control it? It is one of the most terrible medical condition, and patients like me just cannot cope anymore.
I will be lying if I did had some thoughts of ending my life. In fact I accidentally did many years ago when I was trying to make a solution to my insomnia. To good or maybe too bad that the medicine that I took was dialyzable so I was detoxified while in a coma and was brought back (awoken) after three dialysis from the hospital and my brain returned to life again but my body shrunk as I was brought down to my dry weight.
After that I saw my image in the mirror when the puffiness went away as my facial edema got corrected at least temporarily and I was touching my face in front of the mirror at that time because I haven't seen my face before without edema. But now I am as ugly as I can be physically which adds to my anxiety which adds to my appetite loss and the cycle continues like a snowball.
But I won't kill myself, I had been fighting for so long that it will be foolish to give up since many people are with me, supporting me to carry on with life. It is just I feel like my fate is sealed and i can never do anything about it no matter how wiser I am managing it. I needed prayers and maybe God still will listen and make miracles and also give me additional strength to bear these sandwich of a burden, such a life this is.
Admire your faith & perseverance. @cryptopie
Here are some thoughts on Job: Job, self & God
There's always His hope.
Praying for you.
God bless you Sir Thank you.
You’re welcome. @cryptopie
God bless you, too. 🙏
Your strength and courage is phenomenal. Keep on fighting po.
We all live in a state of anxiety, we by the last measure that our rulers have taken, they fill me with a lot of anxiety, and it has triggered my blood pressure so we must manage positive thoughts. God will not abandon us and we will continue to pray, but at the same time we must collaborate with trying to entertain our thoughts, warrior so we have to reassure ourselves, eat our food, so raise that spirit and live today, yesterday's step, and Tomorrow is uncertain. @cryptopie
never give up, keep on spirit, suicide is not good and sinful
Never give up, keep
On spirit, suicide is
Not good and sinful
- bergek123
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
This life needs patience and never give up, keep enjoying life, because God knows what is best for us
never be fooled by circumstances, human life is all governed by God, thankful to the circumstances, even though things are worrying
I know you have struggled for long time. I believe will keep your spirit. Prayer and hope god will listen our wish. You beside and surrounded by peipke who support you. Your parents and also us in steemit always support you. So never ever give up
Mantente luchando @cryptopie que como dices los milagros existen
You are a brave boy my friend .