The Worst Year on Record
As I mentioned in my IntroduceYourself, I am going through a divorce. I know it may be cliché at this point to say that 2017 was the worst year ever, but here are some of the highlowlights of my last few months of life.
- In April, I resigned from a well-paying job at a respected animation company to open my own studio with a business partner;
- On June 16, I discovered that my wife had been having an affair since February;
- I realized that I had a very large jewfro, about 40 extra pounds, and an unhealthy attitude toward life, so on June 17, I went to Rudy’s Barbershop, cut off all of my hair, and became vegan;
- Late June: my wife and I tried to make our marriage work and started couples’ therapy;
- mid-July: I found out my wife was still having the affair and I moved out of my house and began living in AirBnBs;
a. I lived in a total of 3 different AirBnBs between July and October and spent an exorbitant amount of money on them in addition to my home mortgage, and other living expenses; - In August, my business partner and I realized we should not be in business together, and began arguing about a lot of business practices;
- In mid-August, my wife and I tried a stint of micro-dosing psychedelic mushrooms and shortly thereafter decided to try an open marriage to see if that would help us (it didn’t.);
a. I learned a lot while micro-dosing
i. More on that in an upcoming post!
b. I learned about the wonders of Tinder and Bumble
i. More on that in an upcoming post, too! - In September, my wife and I got a new couples’ therapist, put an end to the open marriage, and tried to make our marriage work again;
- In October I moved home while we tried to repair our marriage;
- Mid-October I discovered (for the 5th time) that my wife was still carrying on the affair with the same dude;
- We decided to get divorced and my wife moved out of the house;
- My business partner and I are also basically getting divorced and the business is falling apart;
- CURRENTLY, I have mountains of debt, but also a new, happy outlook on life, a fledgling animation studio without a business partner, I’m dating one of the coolest people on the face of the planet, @steemit is now in my life, and I’m generally excited for the future!
And that is just the brief bullet points of what has been, without a doubt, the shittiest year in @gasgiant's life. There's a lot to unpack there. And most of it, from the luxurious vantage of hindsight, is hilarious. Living it was absolute hell.
In this post, I’m going to talk about the decisions I made about my personal life, and my refrigerator, between June 16 and 17, 2017.
THE DISCOVERY
On June 16, 2017 I sent a text to my wife and asked if she wanted me to pick up anything for dinner on the way home from work. She didn’t respond. I arrived home before her that day. I was writing on a TV show at the time, so I sat down to write until she came home. An hour or so went by when I was pulled from the depths of my computer screen by a sudden, fierce urge to urinate. I walked out of my office and my wife was sitting at the dining room table, finishing a salad.
“I didn’t know you were home. Did you get my text about dinner,” I asked?
She said she hadn’t. Earlier that day she traded in her iPhone 6 for an iPhone 7 and she said she wasn’t receiving messages--that it had been happening all day. She asked me to make sure she set it up right. I looked at her phone, went into setting to see if her iCloud was connected, when a text popped on the screen:
”Hey baby 😍”
I opened the full message. And I read it all.
Their exchange only went back a couple days, she had deleted the previous messages.
I was absolutely sideswiped. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but I just didn’t see it coming. At all.
I asked questions. I couldn’t sleep. I laid awake all night.
THE DECISION
I watched time move until 9am and then drove to Rudy’s Barbershop and asked them to cut my hair. I was feeling unattractive, fat, lazy. There's something about finding out that you've been being cheated on for months that makes you want to do whatever you can to feel hot.
On the way home, I decided to become vegan. I cannot remember how I came to the decision. I knew I needed to lose weight. I knew that I had been eating a lot of meats, cheeses, breads, pastas, and a pile of other garbage that was just plain bad for you. I knew that a lot of the vegan ladies I knew were attractive.
Some of my weirdo LA friends had also recently started the Paleo diet. I thought how sexy they thought they all were. So I became paleo-vegan. I cut out all grains. All gluten.
I started exercising.
In the 5 months proceeding the discovery of the affair, I lost a total of 42 lbs. It wasn't easy. It was painful at times. It was kinda fun other times.
BEFORE AND AFTER
It's been a crazy few months filled with emotions and vegetables. But I truly feel like myself for the first time in a very long time. I feel healthy and attractive again.
And so, with that in mind, I thought I'd share a recipe for a gluten-free, vegan noodle kugel that I found. I've made it now 5 times for dinner parties. It's delicious. Let me know if you try it out and I hope you enjoy!
VEGAN NOODLE KUGEL RECIPE
If you've never had a kugel, think: rice-pudding-meets-mac-and-cheese.
I know that actually doesn't sound very appetizing, but trust me. It's freaking delicious.
Ingredients
- 8 oz GF brown rice spiral noodles
- 1/2 cup vegan margarine, melted
- 1/2 cup Vegan Gourmet Sour Cream
- 1/2 cup Vegan Gourmet Cream Cheese
- 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
- 12 oz firm tofu (NOT silken). crumbled
- 3/4 cup granulated sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup raisins
- 1 tsp ground cinnamon
Instructions
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees, lightly oil a 9×9 inch baking dish
- Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook noodles according to directions on package. Drain and set aside
In a large bowl, combine melted margarine, sour cream, cream cheese, applesauce, tofu, sugar, and vanilla. Stir in cooked noodles and raisins - Pour into baking dish, sprinkle top with cinnamon
- Bake uncovered for 1 hour. If still not set, bake for additional 10-15 or all liquid is drawn out.
My Notes:
- I used Trader Joe's Brown Rice and Quinoa Fusilli to cut down on the amount of rice, because paleo.
- I used Toffutti brand vegan cream cheese and sour cream
- I found that I had to cook the kugel another 30 mins-1 hour to fully cook away all of the liquid.
- Each time I've made it, everyone has devoured it. To the last drop. Like blood vultures.
WEIGHT LOSS
I can write up and post exactly what I did in order to lose so much weight so quickly. Is that something you'd all like to see and give a try? Let me know!
The Kugel recipe and kugel photograph is from Follow Your Heart and is courtesy of Jackie Horrick
does it feel therapeutic for you to share such intimate details about your hardships and successes? just wondering how you're processing this and if you feel weird at all with people looking at all this. it must feel vulnerable.
that's just a guess, but it might feel quite liberating to share and talk about all this
yeah, i'm not saying it can't be. i'm just wondering how it must feel with him being such a new user. i'm new to the community myself and don't know if i'm comfortable sharing some of the more intimate details of my life yet.
Yes, @ethereumarkelle and @cookiemonster13 it is very liberating! This platform is amazing, and I'm glad I can use it to share my experiences. Some of them are very shitty. And some are less shitty. And some are freaking awesome. Thanks for the kind words! I'll give y'all an upvote when I'm back to 100% voting power!
no problem at all! very inspiring. hopefully in time i can feel as ready to open up about similarly shitty experiences as well as post some art on here.
everyone is so good at creating quality content that it's ridiculous. so different from social media where all you see are super hot people selling products.
liberation from the toxic relationship is the only way to seen new light. your marriage was what made you before picture which you was not realizing until betreyal hits your face. its blessing you are good now.
thank you so much @mateen!!
Sorry to hear about your divorce but happy for your achievements
What a beautiful post my friend! This really hit home. I look forward to reading more! Thank you for sharing 💛 (I’m discovering @steemit to be such a cool community ✌️)
@bucketofsteem this looks like a cool recipe...
@gasgiant thanks for sharing the recipe, and part one of your story. I read your other blog yesterday, and look forward to reading more.
Thanks @nospigenilasor! Likewise!
wow kudos for sharing your story! Seems like it somehow also changed your life for the better, I mean judging by your actions you are not a loser at all. Its not what happens to you, its how u deal with what happens to you and you improved yourself! 2018 can only become better! I hope you lost the weight in a sustainable way. For me a high carb vegan whole foods diet works the best, like dr Greger daily dozen style.
Thanks @pepelyuga! You're not a loser either! Thanks for the vote of confidence and keep veganing!
Standing by you, bro. Vegan and steem on.
@prch, I'm gonna vegan and steem as hard as I can forever.
Sounds like you've been through a lot over the last several months. It's great that you're eating healthier and getting yourself together. My advice is to think positive at all times and about everything. Focus only on the positives and if possible remove yourself from negative situations.
@nandibear, thanks for the advice. That is exactly what I'm doing: removing the negative and myself from it. Thank you!
I would really enjoy hearing you on the Minnow Mayor Town Hall radio show hosted by my friend @aggroed. The show starts at 8pm EST on Sunday.
If you're interested contact me or @aggroed on discord.
https://discord.gg/y2YE85
Here's the previous show.
https://steemit.com/msp-waves/@aggroed/2-major-interviews-timcliff-talks-about-steem-to-sbd-conversions-and-theywillkillyou-and-world5list-talk-about-bringing-1-8m
Thanks @teamsteem! I'm going to listen to the previous show tomorrow and I'll hit up you and @aggroed on discord!
This was hard to read but congratulations on the positive changes you made to your life! I am really interested in your paleo-vegan diet as I love paleo eating (it really agrees with my body type) but I don’t want to consume so much meat all the time. Please keep posting about your diet and recipes as this sounds perfect.
Thanks @micanne! I'll post more about being paleo-vegan for sure!
WOOWWW WOOWWW WOOWW SUPER WOOW!!! What a transformation. You are such an inspiration @gasgiant. I am new to this platform and have been through a couple of posts and this has been one of the bests. Definitely deserves a follow. Wanna hear more from you @gasgiant
THANK YOU @JOHNREL! I'm here to stay, so I hope you don't get sick of hearing from me!!
That is one hell of a year! I am glad you are picking yourself up by exercising and having a more positive outlook on life. 🌱💪
If you are looking for some awesome vegan recipes, feel free to check out my page. 🍕
There is only up from here! I am looking forward to more of your posts! ⭐️
Thanks @deliciousplants. I love delicious plants and 🤤 vegan pizza🤤
see you around!!
Bro the amount of emotional resilience and discipline you've displayed through this relational nightmare is pretty inspiring. Also, your writing is quite captivating. Definitely gonna stay tuned in for your journey and follow.
thank you @hawaiisunshine!!
Truly amazing to see your marked transformation in only five months time!
Stress and the impact of a relationship will drive you to over eat and other regrettable choices.
Glad that you see entry of steemit in your life as a huge positive! Looking forward to your future posts.
(Also kugel= rice pudding mac n cheese. Great explanation)
haha right?! thanks for the kind words, @dubdave!
Wow, what an eventful year do you have behind you! Congratulation on your transformation and all positive changes! Keep it up!
thank you @annakitchen!!
Gosh, that sounds like an intense year, but reading about it was freaking hilarious.
And it's also great to finally meet a vegan that has gone vegan for the health benefits. Don't get me wrong, I adore all living creatures (even some humans). But still, it is a breath of fresh air and I believe it would make a much more convincing argument when trying to make others opt for the vegan lifestyle.
Personally, I don't have problems with bodyweight (yet), but I'll follow you nonetheless – if for nothing else, for the entertaining writing style you have.
thanks @janecito! Vanity was definitely my #1 motivation. Animals are cool, but undeniably delicious. I will miss their tasty tasty flesh :(
at some point in that list i thought that next you'll say something like "we had a threesome with the therapist - didn't helped either"
but aside from this i think is a very personal story and even though you say is a cliche is it yours and is very good that you overcome it. Best of luck! and thank you for the story
thanks @emabaker. Maybe a menaj would have been the answer?!
Oh oh
ah ah
That is quite the transformation, man! Congratulations. I also read in your introduce yourself that you have quite the impressive list of allergies. Your dedication to your diet is inspiring! So is your second attempt at business. There is no progress without struggle! Keep pushing through!
amen to that @wplymouth. thank you for your kind words about my allergies!
congrats! =)
gracias, @meekahh!
Great transformation! Proud of you! Are you planning to share more fitness/health related content? It would be nice
😊 thank you @gisi. I'm definitely going to post more healthy living stuff!
Thanks for sharing such a vulnerable part of your life with us, I know its not the easiest but it just shows how strong you are as a person! I am sorry that you've had such a hard year, but I am really glad to see you take on life as it is and made it so much better! Big hugs! Hope things gets better for you from now on! Looking forward to read more of your post!
thank you @gloriarchee. It feels good to write about it :) See you around!!
Wow, this is such an intense journey! It's wonderful that you're getting healthier and that you found a way to change your outlook to a more positive one. Thank you for sharing, and keep your head up! I'm sure that more great things are coming your way as you continue to move forward.
I hope so @generallygen 🤞🏼🤞🏼! Thank you!
Thanks for sharing your life story for the past months and sorry about your break up with your wife I know how you feel I just broke up with my partner of 28 years pretty much for the same reason with a few twists, but I am over the way I was feeling in the relationship for the past 5 years or more I could not even remember the last time I was truly happy and that hurts the most, because I let myself down and not just my partner. For me the first 3 days were the worst, could not sleep or eat or even think about nothing else but her and what I had lost.. but after the 3rd day I started researching breakups and how to recover and watched hours and hours of videos on youtube about the subject and also just started watching a lot of motivation videos on youtube while I get work done online and as of today I am starting to feel all this weight lifted off my shoulders and can see what I want out of life in the future.. I have set goals now and within 3 years of the plan on buying an RV and traveling around Australia full time and blog about in on steamit and make a video blog about the journey...
I love your before and after photos of yourself... all the best for your future and your success.. No more looking back the road ahead only leads forward now.. one step at a time..
That's right, the road ahead is bright, @ezimedia!!
Even though you've been through hard times last year, I'm happy for you since it seems like you've pulled it through and gained new, positive aspects on life. You're very inspiring to all of us! :)
Thank you for sharing. This sounds exactly like the year I had in 2009. I currently enjoy the best life I could have imagined. Things get better, keep your head up, concentrate on bettering yourself and good things will come.