Happiness is not a utopia, but an emotion that we can live every day, applying methods that have scientifically demonstrated their effectiveness.
happiness
"There is no path to happiness. Happiness is the path. "
Wayne Dyer.
For decades, personal growth gurus have promised to unveil the formula of happiness . But in recent years, to the more or less serious books that deal with the techniques and strategies to be happy , real scientific studies have been added. If the University of Pennsylvania has instituted a degree course on happiness , the University of Edinburgh has gone further: the scholars A. Weiss and TC Bates, in their treatise " Happiness Is a Personal (ity) thing ", have identified the factors that determine our happiness .
The happiness depends on:
The 50% by our genes . So, watch out for the parents you choose! ;-)
l ' 8-10% by factors exogenous , like money, social status, physical appearance, etc.
the remaining 40% ... ( drum roll ), depends on ... TE .
Yes, 40% of your happiness depends on how you think and deal with life . Unfortunately we can not change our genes, and in this article I do not want to talk about how to improve your finances or how to become a teacher in interpersonal relationships ; I want instead to propose 6 scientific ways to make the most of that 40% of happiness that depends only on yourself:
- Find a purpose in life
In ancient Greece the concept of happiness was expressed by the term eudaimonia , which can be literally translated as "being with a good demon": you have understood 'these old devils of the Greeks! In reality the term demon ( daimon ) indicates a guiding spirit, destiny or ... a purpose .
Dr. Martin Seligman, founder of Positive Psychology - a new branch of psychology that studies what makes people made, enthusiastic and happy - recently said that the only way to find true and lasting happiness is to: identify our strengths, our skills, and leverage on them to achieve ambitious goals. In my small way I got a pretty clear idea of how to find the purpose of my life .
- Rediscover the small pleasures of life
To find true happiness, you do not have to wait until you reach your goals: you can have it today .
One of the practical exercises used by the students of Positive Psychology is the method of " redesigning the day". This experiment provides that the participants describe in detail the activities of their day. The following day, regarding their diary, participants must rate each activity. At this point, the " redesign the day" method requires participants to replace at least 1 hour of unpleasant activities with 1 hour dedicated to the small pleasures of life . The results of the study group have shown that this small change in daily routine can have a significant impact on the overall level of happiness .
- Go with the flow
I took advantage of the title of one of Giovanni Allevi's most beautiful compositions ("Go with the flow"), to tell you about the 3rd scientific method to find true happiness . The term "flow" was coined by the American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi ( Mario Rossi, was it not easier ?! ) to describe the state in which you are completely absorbed in the activity that is taking place, so as to lose track of time .
It can happen to reach this state of total immersion ... singing, reading a book that we are passionate about or working on an important project for us. Our happiness is directly connected to the ability to live these moments of complete immersion more frequently and the only way to do this is to identify what we are passionate about and put it at the center of our life .
- Choose your reactions
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar is one of the leading experts in Positive Psychology. One of his courses at Harvard University is dedicated to " reactions ". His studies show that it is not external events that determine the well - being of individuals, but rather their ability to react correctly to such events.
In fact, if it is true that life is governed by chance and you can not choose the events that happen to you, it is also true that you always have control over your reaction.
- Learn to give
An interesting experiment from Harvard Business School has shown that spending money on others makes them happier than spending them on themselves. During the study of HBS, the group of participants was divided into 2 classes: the first class was asked to spend a sum, at their own choice, for themselves; the second class, on the other hand, was asked to spend a sum, at their own option, for other people. All second-class individuals recorded higher levels of happiness than first-class participants; moreover, the individuals who had given more to others had also proved the happiest.
Why did I tell you this singular experiment? Simple ... to remind you that if you want to be happy you have to ... give me a donation ! ;-) Joking aside, giving to others ... and I'm not just talking about money, but also about time, effort and love, is one of the most immediate gestures to be happy .
- Stop repeating "only when ..."
Do you keep telling yourself that you will be happy only when ... will you get that promotion, win the lottery, meet real love, etc.? Well ... you have just condemned to eternal unhappiness ! Linking your happiness to future events creates dissatisfaction and is wrong for at least two reasons: a) we tend to overestimate the impact of events on our lives, b) once the desired event has occurred, after a short period of euphoria, our level of happiness will return to the average; it is the so-called effect of "hedonic adaptation".
Many (and I myself too) think that they will be happier when they have more money. But scientific studies clearly show that this is a false belief. If it is true that there is a difference between not having money and being able to satisfy one's needs, it is equally true that the happiness rate remains practically unchanged if we earn € 50,000 / year or € 500,000 / year. SempliceMente ... overcoming a minimum level of income, money no longer affects our happiness.
Try this little practical experiment : turn "I'll be happy only when ..." in "I'm happy now because ...".
And now you have no more excuses: you must be happy ... it's science !