That made me giggle a bit. Interesting story there yourself! You have to find a way to smile about this stuff, that is important. I swim all summer long so my shirt comes off exposing my horrid scars. When people ask me what happened... sometimes I tell them I was in a gang fight. Other times, that I was bit by a shark! Ha!
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Hope the giggle didn't hurt!
I haven't had the opportunity to lie much about my scars yet, but I've totally worked on brainstorming funny stories.
While I had the stoma, it was basically a bit of pink intestine hanging out of my belly making strange gurgling noises all the time. So I named it Krang. Just pretended he was in control and I was his robot body.
Humor is the key.