I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's experience. :/ This all sounds very rough and both of you have been through a lot.
Somehow, when a young woman has a baby (especially her first), everyone automatically have an opinion almost about everything she decides. The amount of advices is endless and the funny part is that people don't know anything about the real situation. That happens with other topics as well but other topics are not so sensitive. Judgement makes young moms feel insicure and vulnerable.. that's sad.
You have done the right choice. Sure, breast milk is the best food for a baby in normal situation. In your case, it would have been a torture. There is no point and no need for your baby and your wife to suffer. No one benefits from that..