This is me.
I'm often times more alone. I have very few friends right now. I have healthy boundaries. I no longer apologize for things I didn't do wrong. When people assume things of me, and it's not correct or healthy -- I pick my battles -- but when needed I will speak up and challenge it now.
It doesn't make me popular. Especially as a woman working in IT. But my boss is awesome though. He listens and goes to bat for me when my voice as a woman (and as their peer) fails.
Outside of this, in public I stopped speaking. When I was a Mormon, I stopped speaking up in classes and gatherings because my viewpoints, positions or frame of mind was not welcome. It didn't fit into their paradigm. Especially as a woman.
Like your pictures you have -- I have a pack like that. It's packed and ready to go for the most part. But for now, I have kids, a mortgage, child support, a job and all of that.
I see myself going at things alone. For quite some time. It just comes to a point in life where it is no longer worth it to try and be something for someone else.
Earlier in the spring, I cut nearly 22 inches of hair off. Every time I think about growing it back, I realize I just don't want to. I'd only be doing it to make the men at work (and potential dating prospects) to feel more comfortable with me. I don't need to fit into the entire paradigm to do my job to be approved or to be seen.
So I keep my new hairdo. On purpose. For me.
You're right. It can be quite lonely. I look forward though to a day where I can be more free of the current shackles that exist so I can spend more time with those I love, have more quality time my kids need and just literally spend my days doing mostly as I please.
Then I will work for someone else because I want to and when I start to feel resentment I'll stop. Easy. Easy, easy, easy, easy, easy. It requires a dramatic lifestyle changes to pare down to a point where you can do that. Most people aren't willing to.
Like I said, my pack is packed and for the most part, ready to go.
Same here, some people think that I am mentally ill in my family and I fucking hate that. We help each other when we need help, but besides that I don't spend time with them.
Same here, I don't speak much in public anymore because my thinking is usually met with hard resistance and ignorance.
Absolutely tired of that. We are who we are, I won't fit in anymore because that is bad for my self-respect and dignity.
It is our journey and not theirs after all :)