This reminds me of the Bible verse in 2 Corinthians 10:5: "We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,". I agree with @negativer that working out something verbally with a trusted individual is a healthy thing, but as you say, the way you phrase those things to the other person can not only color your perception but theirs and turn it into a cycle of complaining - which is no longer productive.
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Yes, I think it's good to remember we will be disappointed and frustrated at times...we are feeling creatures, but we do have to take those thoughts captive and not let them rule over us.