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What if I just punch a hole in a pie pan and pop my sack through? Sort of like when my TV antenna loses signal and I can't tune in my weekly dose of Alex Jones telling my how right my fearful emotional responses to simple technology are?

But then only your sack would be protected....
Really, tinfoil is the best solution, it is the tried and true method advocated by experts

Fine.... Though to be safe... Whole body? Or just vital areas?

Whole body!!! Geez, do I have to explain everything?!?!
And why is there no tinfoil hat emoji that I can paste here?!

Edit: this will do