There are five attributes to this exercise: awareness, curiosity, responsibility, gratitude, and movement.
1. Awareness
Ok, so the first thing you have to do in order to improve your state, is to be of aware of what you're currently feeling. Become present to the moment, and sink into the feelings that you're experiencing. How would you describe these feelings? This is not to say that you should identify with them, but rather just acknowledge what they are. Unproductive emotions could include things like: apprehension, anxiety, overwhelm, anger, sadness, loneliness, fear, etc. Recognize what you're feeling and become aware of all the attributes associated with these feelings -- any physical manifestations (heart racing, shallow breathing, repetitive thought patterns, tense muscles, etc) that may be caused by this state.
You have to become aware of your emotional state in order to improve it.
2. Curiosity
Now that you're aware of the state that you're in, this is a good time to get curious about the origins of this emotional state. Ask yourself: "Where did this unproductive feeling come from? Was it something that I just experienced?" Many times there are certain stimuli that lead to these types of unproductive emotional states. For instance, maybe you got home from work today and for some reason have this nagging anxious feeling. You're just trying to finish making dinner so you can relax with your family, but your mind is racing and your significant other notices that you seem tense. Where did this come from? You think back to your day, and consider the meeting you had with your boss. They told you that you need to improve your performance this quarter, which came as a surprise to you, as you thought you were doing just fine. Maybe this is why you're feeling tense. You also skipped the gym today, because you decided to work later than usual. That could also be adding to this feeling.
Once you start to consider the reasons why you're feeling a certain way, you can begin to see the patterns that lead to these unproductive feelings. You'll start to notice that there are certain events that "trigger" you. This makes you more capable to address these feelings in the future.
3. Responsibility
Once you have identified those emotions and everything that is associated with them, and considered what has lead to that predicament, now is a good time to take responsibility for your emotional state. I like to do this by using a positive identity statement. I'll close my eyes for a brief moment, take a couple of deep breaths, and slowly repeat to myself: "I am responsible for my emotional states, and I choose to be in a productive state of being." I like to use the word productive, but you can substitute anything of a similar manner here -- positive, fulfilling, vibrant, etc.
This step has nothing to do with blame -- there are many reasons why you can be feeling less than ideal, some of which could be your fault, and some of which could be someone else's fault. Your situation may not be your fault, but it is always your responsibility, because only you have to deal with it. Your life, your responsibility! Taking a moment to state this fact to yourself is a great reminder that you have the power to feel better. It is your choice.
4. Gratitude
Now we're getting into the transformative steps of this process. Once you've stated that you're responsible for your emotional state, you can begin to consider all of the things that you have in life to be grateful for. For one, you're alive! You exist and make an impact in the world everyday, just by being here. You can also be grateful for everyone that is in your life, family, friends, colleagues, and those other people, animals, and objects that you interact with on a regular basis. You can appreciate your accomplishments, your skills and expertise, no matter how big or small. You can acknowledge the hobbies you enjoy, the memories that you've created. You can be grateful for all the experiences in your life, that have led to this very moment, in which you have chosen to improve your state of being.
Consider all which you can be grateful for, including the fact that there is so much to be grateful for, you can't even fit it all on one list!
5. Movement
The final step in this process is to get your body moving. If you're sitting down, stand up. Do some jumping jacks, or put on your favorite song and dance around. If you're in your apartment or office, get outside and walk around the block. Physical movement can help facilitate emotional change. As Tony Robbins says, "Motion creates emotion". So get some movement happening in order to solidify the positive emotional change that you're making. This will also change your heart rate and your breathing pattern, and allow you to settle into a better state of being -- calm, presence, confidence, excitement, etc.
So there you have it, the five steps to feeling better, that you can employ right now. Try this out for yourself, and let me know what you think!