My sister and brother in law's guest house is close to being finished. The day before yesterday, I decided to move from a tent in their garden, to that guest house. I will stay here for a little longer, as the roof on my house still needs to be replaced.
Two days ago, just before dinner, I decided to partake in a one hour group meditation session, for the second time in 4 days, hosted by @bewithbreath and taking place on discord.
But let's go back in time a couple of days...
SESSION #1
The previous group meditation session, last Wednesday, wasn't a huge success from my side. I was still [camping in a tent and - in an attempt to keep my back straight, something I have been struggling with since I first started meditating a couple of years ago - I sat down against the bed, my back supported by two pillows.
I had taken my shoes and socks off and was sitting cross legged on the floor of the tent. During the guided group meditation, there were a lot of distractions. Even though I know that it's all about not being bothered by them and (usually) returning to the breath again and again, it was just too much for me to handle.
About halfway into the session, I started hearing a shuffling sound around my tent. I thought it might be my sister's dog or cat, but had my doubts. Whatever it was, appeared to have entered the tent and was moving around in it. At a certain point, I felt something touching my feet and I had to open my eyes. What I saw at my bare, left foot, freaked me out somewhat:
A Toad.
In fact, that same toad had entered my tent twice before, in the night. But, on those two occasions, I was in my bed and not on my floor, the toad hadn't touched my skin. No matter what, I didn't trust the animal to be a princess, so I removed it from my tent. It took a while before I managed to focus on the meditation again.
Suffice to say that this wasn't the most successful of my meditation experiences. Even more because, before the toad had entered, something else took place.
I had opened my eyes once before, to type into the discord chat that the mic of @bewithbreath was picking up a lot of noise. So much in fact, that it was too much of a distraction ( for me ). I felt like the guy or girl in a cinema, walking towards the projectionist to tell him to change the sound or image. This is something that I normally don't do, even though I studied film and have plenty of experience as a filmmaker.
So why don't I do this? It's because I don't want to be taken out of the movie, I don't want to take my eyes off the screen, not until the end. This time I felt that if @bewithbreath would read about the sound issues, he might change his mic settings and others would benefit from it. They might have a better experience because of it and it would be worth my 'lesser' session.
If you want to read even more about the struggles and fun parts of this session, from another perspective, check out this awesome write up by @riverflows Toads and time differences meditating in mindful life discord
Two days after that challenging first group meditation, I helped @bewithbreath out with the testing of his microphone and audio settings. I wasn't sure yet if I would be able to take part into the next session but I was gonna try to make it.
SESSION #2
And then it was the day before yesterday, time for the weekend group meditatio.n I managed to make time for yet another one hour group meditation.
This time I found a sitting position that would make it even easier ( I thought ) to keep my back straight. I sat down on my temporary mattress on some pallets, with two pillows between my back and a cement kitchen sink leg. I was only wearing boxers, as it was a warm day and I wanted to feel comfortable, not being distracted by my clothes.
The meditation session started by focusing on the breath, there was also a gratefulness part. And, the main and most challenging part for me was the body scan. I don't necessarily find it difficult to scan my body ( especially in meditation ) but this was a lengthy one. The first 5 to 10 minutes or so were guided and then @bewithbreath told us to keep doing the scan from head to feet and back ourselves. It was silent for a long, long time...
Since the start of the one hour session, I had been focusing hard on not moving my body, not even my head or neck. This became tougher and tougher when time passed by. I felt drips of sweat rolling down my body, my armpits, my stomach, even my legs. At a certain point, I started wondering if there were in fact ants walking on my body. Believe me when I say that there are loads of ants out here, so it wouldn't be a surprise if it happened. I kept telling myself that it was probably sweat, but I remember a moment where the drops seemed to be going up, so how could this be sweat? It had to be ants.
Anyhow, I wasn't allowed to open my eyes. I wouldn't break the spell this time.
I tried hard to focus on the body scan, but - while my body was getting hotter and hotter and I started feeling more and more dehydrated ( was this meditation or bikram yoga? ) - I couldn't focus on the separate body parts any more. There was just heat, sweat and the polar opposite of relaxed muscles and mind.
After a while, I seriously started wondering if the hour had passed already. It had been silent for a long time, without any guidance and I wondered if the connection had been lost or if my earplugs had jumped out of my phone ( this happens quite a lot with my iPhone ). Perhaps the session had been finished already and people were talking about it ( there was a group of around 8 persons ) and I missed out on the chat. I decided to open my eyes, checked the time on my phone and found out that 58 minutes had passed. The meditation wasn't finished yet.
I felt slightly frustrated and closed my eyes again. I tried to focus on the body scan for a little longer and - about two minutes later - @bewithbreath told us that the meditation had ended.
We then talked for quite a while and shared our experiences. I loved the energy and actually felt very good about myself and about being part of this group, this amazing initiative.
A little later, I left my temporary living, to meet my twin sister, nephew and niece for ( Dutch ) pancakes. I was dehydrated and had a headache but felt great at the same time.
I am already looking forward to the next session. I hope to get my buddy @inuke to join in. We talked on the phone yesterday, for an hour and a half, and I shared this story with him. He's very open minded and into these kind of things, so I'm sure he will do the best he can to show up to a guided meditations session soonish.
Do you meditate yourself? Would you like to experience guided group meditation with people around the world? Feel free to join the fun and learning, by visiting this group: Mindful Life Chat
I love that the insects wanted to be in your presence and also wanted you to know that too. It is really hard for me to find the time to meditate these days, esp set times as my life can be unpredictable with my 3 girls and I never know when they may need me the most. Maybe I will join at a later day xx
I totally get it. It would be lovely to have you in our midst. It will happen when the time is right
xx
Vond het wel grappig, na 58 minuten mediteren de ogen openen en met een frustrerend gevoel zitten... (lol). Zelf heb ik een andere vorm om even te ontsnappen aan de wereld. Ik zoek gewoon een rustig plaatsje, meestal in de natuur, en laat alles op me afkomen...de fluitende vogeltjes, de wind in de bomen, de geuren van de bloemetjes... Dat brengt mij tot rust. Voor mij geen meditatie sessies, yoga toestanden of groepsmindfulness...
Ik zie wel dat jou campingtoestand een upgrade heeft gekregen, tof!
Nu is het wachten tot de volgen upgrade...je eigen (nieuwe) dakje boven het hoofd.
Ja, dat is ook een mooie manier van ontspannen/ mindfulness. Ik doe dat ook graag maar ik hou van uitdagingen en dit is dat zeker.
Thanks voor je vriendelijke woorden. Wordt altijd gewaardeerd :>)
Very well written :-) These animals seems to love you :P It´s a interesting experience. I also meditate, but only a few times. For me it´s also hard to sitting quit. But meditation is a good method to release stress.
The toad perhaps. The ants were probably imaginary or might have been flies instead?
Meditation is definitely a good way to release stress.
Thanks for stopping by! :>)
Indeed it was heavily tested😃 - Discord server was down for me till exactly 6pm and I had been trying to get into 🧘🏼♂️🧘🏼♀️hall since 5:40ish. Thought will have to cancel the meditation so just sent msg on comment section on my post and Universe spoke didn’t it. As I just sent the msg Discord server was up & running so had to go straight into meditation without any instruction 😊 - accepting the NOW was then an opportunity to really be mindful 😊💙🕉
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Hahaha! That story would make for a great write up in itself :>)
I found the above ( your struggles ) out way later. I don't receive notifications of comments.
The universe works in mysterious ways and that is one of the reasons why life is so incredible.
I hope to talk to you soon, although I doubt I can make it tomorrow.
🙏🏼
Even though it was a challenge, you seemed to come away with a positive experience. I have a hard time too sitting and maintaining good posture without pain or discomfort. To me it's ok to readjust and be comfortable. If you were focused before, you should be able to come back to breath, recenter and float back in . I should be making Saturday's sessions, I missed this one since I had to work 😒
Being okay with readjusting to be comfortable is fine too ( I have done that many times before ) but this time I really wanted to challenge myself.
Would be fun if you could join in on one of the future weekend sessions. The more the merrier ;>)
Thanks for stopping by!
Oh this was so brilliantly written... entertaining and thoughtful. I'm amazed you sat through a whole hour... that takes some doing!!! I'm very impressed. A pity that toad wasn't a princess!!!! Great post and lovely to get a run down of Session 2.. 3 am too early for me!!! Can't wait til Wednesday and hope Inuke can join too!!!
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Wait? Have you ever meditated for an entire hour yourself? Yeah, it was a pity. I'm still looking for my princess and although I know inner beauty is the most important, I prefer to attract one who doesn't look like a toad, haha!
I know 3 am is way early but, for a moment, I expected you to join in. You might have woken up from a sound outside your house and decide to hop in, right?
I'm not sure if I can make it this Wednesday. Friends of mine are visiting these days. They arrived this afternoon but I'll see what I can do.
Um abraço
That's okay! Next week. And yes, meditate for an hour on occasion. Especially when I did Vipassana and if I meditate with my friends who come to stay I do an hour with them.
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I made it, after all but I guess I don't think I need to tell you that ;>)
It looks gorgeous and absolutely cosy.
It is actually far from cosy ( still needs a bunch of work on the inside and outside ) but the surroundings and view, as well as the positive people around this place, make it totally worth it. Thank you for stopping by! :>)
Ha ha, I love that nature was trying so hard to get in on the meditation action ;-)
Distracting though I'm sure.
In a way, meditation is all about connecting to ( your ) nature, I guess, as well as about dealing with distractions. So yeah, we should love it and laugh about it, haha!
For sure! Absolutely spot on m8.
🙂👍👍👍👊
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