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I am schizophrenic. You are not wrong to think of me as a person with mental disorders. You can also call me a madman. Because in reality, it is like that existence. At first, I found it hard to accept the term "crazy" because that's a pretty painful condition. But I also can not blame others who call me "crazy" because they have a wrong understanding and it's commonly used by people in Indonesia. If I can defend myself, I prefer to be called a schizophrenic only compared to a madman.
The reason?
Because the schizophrenic patients are medically impaired in their minds so they can not behave normally like the average person. Just like the disease of autism, senility, and other diseases. That's enough reason to treat me like a normal person. And I really appreciate people who can treat people with schizophrenia well.
I was once asked by a blogger friend who wanted to know more about schizophrenia. I can not explain any further that time. But I will try to explain with ordinary language without medical term so you can understand it in this post. I will also tell you a bit of my life, so you do not wonder how people with schizophrenia live their lives.
Sounds and Condition In The Mind Of Schizophrenic Patients
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The thing that distinguishes between schizophrenic and normal people is the sounds that alternate in his mind. The doctors call it a hallucinatory hearing, i.e., the patient can listen to the "strange" sounds in his mind. As I mention the voices in my mind as "imaginary friends."
The voice in my mind is of two types, male and female. The voice came and went as it pleased. Can not be controlled and have a particular character.
There is a kind voice. This sound is nice to talk to. I am very comfortable with this sort of sound. I can spend hours chatting with imaginary friends if it includes a kind voice. It does not say bad things and says common things are heard like talking about friendship, family, and life. I enjoy hallucinations like this.
There is also a voice that often threatens. Fantasy friends like this always issue threatening words and make me always worried. Sometimes what he says comes true. That's what makes me a little afraid of this kind of sound. At first I also did not know how to deal with it, but eventually, I know the trick. This type of voice says a threat that is almost certainly overtaken by humans. For example "you will get sick," "you will not have money," "your parents hate you," and some. Once the veracity is correct, this voice will arrogantly say that everything said will happen. Though more things he said never happened. Even so, it still makes me a little scared.
There is also a mocking voice. This is the most disturbing. Whenever I move and fail to do so, he will mock me always. I get upset with this kind of voice. "Why learn, no use?", "You will not get cured," "Man base is useless," and dirty words that are not worth writing.
There are many other types of sounds, but it must be too long to tell one by one. That's why normal people assume that people with schizophrenia are crazy because they often seem to speak for themselves. The person with schizophrenia is actually interacting with the sounds in his mind.
These sounds also make the feeling of schizophrenia (I) become unstable. Sometimes angry with what the voice said. Sometimes suddenly feel funny and smile to yourself. Sometimes it scares me so I can only lie down. My emotions are only affected by the sounds completely.
It is a bit of a schizophrenic world that can not be understood by normal people. Because of the voices that continue to speak also the person with schizophrenia can not focus on doing many things. It can be said that most schizophrenics can not use their minds well because of the vague sources. That's why people with schizophrenia that can not be independent alias require others.
People with schizophrenia can not be alone
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The most painful fact to me is the fact that I can not be independent. My mind can not be used to think properly. It's all because my mind is always focused on what my imaginary friends say. It happens all the time, so I need others to remind me of bath time, meal time, time to take medication, and some of it. So, people with schizophrenia need another person who is usually called caregiver (people who care for people with schizophrenia) to make sure everything is okay.
But treating people with schizophrenia is not as easy as you imagine. I sometimes also often fussy and assume if no bath is okay. My parents will usually get angry. Similarly in many ways. I am often offended if it is ordered by this and that by parents. It usually ends in quarrels. But after five years of running, it seems to me, and the parents are already understanding each other that there are rarely unnecessary arguments.
Also, most people with schizophrenia are unable to work like normal humans. Their needs are fully dependent on caregivers. So, caregivers are not only tested for their patience with people with schizophrenia but also their finances.
Not to mention the expensive drug problem. Though people with schizophrenia need to consume drugs to ease the sounds that are in mind. Without taking drugs, people with schizophrenia will not calm down. The sound in mind will become louder than usual, and it causes people with schizophrenia to do bad things like breaking things, getting angry, hitting, and part of it (I never do that sort of thing).
Working For Schizophrenic
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As I said above, most schizophrenics become unemployed because they can not do the job properly. Also because of the stigma of people who are afraid of people with schizophrenia who make people with schizophrenia can not get a decent job.
From the story of my friend who is also schizophrenic, he could work as a dishwasher in his uncle's stall. There is also a participant in managing the services of his brother's laundry. There are also friends who become cd sellers on the market. And many other trivial jobs. That's our job, schizophrenic. In fact, by the Dutch government to make a special factory of schizophrenia so that people with schizophrenia able to independently and live properly. It is also my hope that in Indonesia can also be like that in the future.
I also include people with schizophrenia who are lucky because they are not unemployed. My family had a fruit shelf in the market. I work to keep the shanties and serve the buyers who come. Currently, I am used to selling myself for 4 to 5 hours. In the future, despite the weight, I want to keep a fruit shelf 8 to 10 hours every day.
Besides mother and father are also old. They said the stalls would be handed to me. They will retire from the job and tell me to fight to get rid of schizophrenia. But to be honest, I'm pessimistic. I can not possibly manage the stall alone. Moreover, I also can not buy stock in big traders. But I will learn to manage this fruit stall. At least I have the income to meet my daily needs.
Social Interaction For People with Schizophrenia
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Since I have schizophrenia, I no longer have friends. News quickly spread, people in my area might think I was a lunatic and try to avoid me. I'm used to it that way.
Then, how? Am I suffering?
To meet my needs as a common man, I am incorporated into many groups on the internet. I already feel quite chatting with my friends in facebook groups. Especially from the community group care schizophrenia Indonesia, there I can also vent about the problems I face because of the voices in my mind. There is the best place to chat so far.
Oh yeah ... .. almost forgot, I also have some friends chatting in the market. Fellow traders. But yes it is ...... so far we have no close relationship. It's only hanging out to spend time. Never talk about each other's personal life.
Good thing my family members can be good chatting buddies. I feel far away better now. I just want to chat with family members more often. Talk about a lot of fun.
In my spare time, I also spend time writing on this blog. It's nice to be able to comment on each other's blogs and build ties with other bloggers. At least I do not fill my days with negative activities.
Reference 1, 2, 3
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Good post ..like it...
very informative post.. keep up the great work!
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