A rivulet of tears streamed down my face as I reflected on the cherished moments I shared with my mother. As the youngest child, I had the privilege of spending more time with my mother than my siblings, who had started their own families long before I grew up. My immediate elder sister, 20 years my senior, had already built a life of her own.
Mama, as I affectionately call her, was my constant companion. We spent hours together under the tree at Mama Ade's salon, where she would sit on a stool while Mama Ade expertly plaited her hair from a higher wooden chair.
Those 40 minutes were never wasted. As Mama and her hairdresser shared their bitter-sweet experience, I would eagerly scan the area for fellow kids to play with.
But our carefree afternoons were always short-lived. Mama would soon call out, 'Come over here!' and I'd reluctantly bid farewell to my newfound friends. With a heavy heart, I would wave goodbye and trudge back to her side. The only thing that kept us aside ever since was my admission into university. Mama cried her eyes out the day I was leaving for school. It was not also easy for me that I kept going home every month to check up on her. I went back home after graduation years after but I knew I would still leave her for a farther place to observe my one year mandatory youth service. The day I received my posting letter, I couldn't believe my eyes. I was posted to Imo State in the far East of my country, Nigeria. I didn't know how to inform her. It was not a place where I could go and be coming to check up on her monthly, like when I was an undergraduate. She's 75 years of age and I knew she needed me the most then but I knew I couldn't always be with her. It took me two weeks to keep the posting letter away from her, but I finally let the cat out of the bag and she accepted her fate. So, I went for service and came home twice within that one year.
Unlike my friends that decided to stay back in the same state and those that decided to go to cities to get well-paying jobs, I went back to my hometown, just to be closer to and take care of my mother, while I also got a job there. I was there for four years after my service, taking care of my mother and also teaching in a secondary school in my neighborhood. The last straw that broke the camel's back was marriage. I was already 29 years of age and my fiance was 32. It's obvious time was not on my side and my partner was also ready for marriage. I informed mama and the rest of my family. We did introduction in the month of May. At a point, my mother could not stay in the sitting room where the introduction was going on. She left as if she wanted to take something but I knew she couldn't control her tears. The family picked the date for wedding and my husband married me on 23rd of December, 2023 and we finally relocated to another citiy. Hmm, my marriage would clock a year in two weeks time and I have not set my eyes on my mother.
I would have actually visited her but it is our custom not to visit our maiden home until we have our baby. They believe that is the joy of marriage and that we should go along with our baby to greet our people after wedding. I really miss my mother and it is my prayer that God, the Almighty visit me soon, so that I can see my mother. I always think about her and how well she took care of me from childhood and prayed well for me.
Mama was a petty trader. She would go to the market in the morning and come back in the evening. She was really a kind person that I lived with for 29 years. In fact, how would I not miss her? Before I even left for school in the morning, when I was younger, she must have kept a wrap of eba (my launch) in a food warmer, of course breakfast was already in my stomach. With an outstretched arm, she would still give me allowance for break. Those memories now bring both joy and sorrow. The distance between us now feels unbearable, and I'm reminded of the precious time we shared. Tears fall freely as I cherish the memories of our time together. I miss Mama!
Thanks for reading.
All pictures are mine.
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Hello @ainajane 🙋
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