Hello, hivers! In today's blog, I will share with all of you my feelings right now. I know that some of you will definitely say that it will be dramatic but believe me, I just want to hold this life of mine for a time being.
So, lets talk about the feelings that I have now.
I actually don't like sharing with the feelings I have but lets just skip that.
This picture symbolizes of how I hold my life right now. My life is too dark to handle. Hence, it can actually kill the inner me. I did not feel anything at all when I was still little. Actually, I was excited to grow up, because they said that when you grow up, you will find happiness. But I was wrong. Happiness is when we start to talk, walk, smile, and eat. That's my definition of happiness.
It's hard. It's really hard. Maybe because I'm now an adult and can handle my own feelings. It's funny right how I took Psychology program and then this is how I felt? Day by day, I always surrender my tight feelings only for my self. I kneel down, asked in the Heavens if why am I like this? Is anything wrong with my whole life? Did I do something wrong that is unforgivable? That was my question all the time but can't be answered.
Sitting around here and watched people that was happy made me vanished. I wonder how their life works. How their family works together without any hesitations and chaos. And I also wonder how my life works at 5 years from now. Do my family will get better? Do I have a decent work? Do I have a boyfriend? Will I get married? Will I get tons of money? I hope so. I hope my life will be better that this.
Life is definitely full of punishments. I dont know what to do. But there are some hope that I can hold on too. What's more funny is, only yourself can handle any situations that you have right now. Not your friends, family, or even loved ones can handle you. But yourself.
I hope the one who read this will be better. I know that you have also the feelings that can't be understood. And I hope you will heal and be happy eternally.
Embracing who you are, with all your flaws and strengths, is the purest form of self-love.
I hope that you are in a good shape right now. Hope to see you soon. Thank you so much for reading my blog. Happy weekend.
