Gymgoer, professional, Matcha drinker, teacher, chemical engineer, intellectual, leader, happy.
All the roles I had to play recently.
I play them as hard as I can. Because I have to, or else I fear being consumed by the dreadful feeling of being a great pretender, an impostor. Always proving, never being. But when I'm alone and without anyone who needs convincing, I am overcome by my hollowness.
I've only been going to the gym once a month. I feel out of place in my profession's convention. I drink Matcha even though I hate it. I'm a teacher who hasn't been teaching lately. I spend time with friends and still feel lonely. I know the actual things that make me happy, but I don't do them.
The past few weeks have been extremely challenging. A new job started. A grand reunion carved out so much of my time and energy. A young relative died of suicide. I got sick for a couple of days after traveling for almost 2 weeks.
With no time to process everything, I feel myself slipping, being drained, turning hollow above a cesspool of emotions. I find myself crying randomly, unpacking old regrets, and doubting myself. And it's not even over. I have to brace for the coming weeks. I don't know if I'm gonna make it. But I'll just keep on pretending.
Because that's what impostors do.
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Hey man, Don't lose hope this is just temporary. I know everything will become better. Here's a short by Mel Robbins. I've been listening to her lately; it helps me when I feel down. I pray that everything will be better for you!
Take care always
Thanks for the YT Short. I also pray that things will really be better soon.
Wow. I hope you can drop the act. I hope you can trust that if you can be true to yourself that things can still work out somehow. They may fall apart but then they come back together again more comfortably if you keep going with it
I hope so, too. Lately, pretending is the only way to not fall part. I know things will work out somehow but it's difficult to always remind myself that. Thanks for taking the time to comment. 😁
Insecurities come and do not ask for permission. They refuse to leave and hit our reason. 🥀
From here we accompany you, and we send you a strong hug @glecerioberto 🍰
Thank you for the kind words and for the hug and the cake. 😁