Introduction
Today i'm going to be talking about how expectations lead to disappointment
I'm sure a lot of you had expectations of what 2022 end like or that new decade was going to look like. Where you might go, where you might be, and what you might start doing.
I had ideas of where i was going to go travel for a bit or what i was going to experience and as i'm sure you experienced there was a very firm moment at the start of the year where suddenly those expectations of what was going to happen had to be put on hold.
They had to be cancelled that idea of expectations had to be let go of and had to face the real reality that actually this thing that i imagined was going to happen in the future isn't coming around. it's not going to happen in the capacity that i envisaged it.
So often we can place our energy, our emotions, and our excitement into these future events and what we realize is that when we give that and it doesn't happen, we can actually end up being quite disappointed and almost feel like we've lost something because we create this sense of having it already.
That is why i think 2022 has really taught us a lesson, we all may have expected certain things to happen this year. We may have expected growth in certain areas and instead we've been delivered it in another form, another capacity of growth which is still important.
Aspects of Expectations and Disappointment
So if we go into and i think we've all probably realized this living more in the present, living for the now, knowing that something might be coming up but not having our hopes or not having all this energy placed into.
It doesn't mean that we can't be excited for things but we can't place all this energy and all this expectation into it because if it doesn't happen we will just leave ourselves feeling disappointed and that is again another importance of being in the present.
Just being able to surrender and accept and this year has also been about surrendering and accepting. Everything that has come and everything there's been. So that's also an aspect of it.
So, that's one aspect of expectations and disappointment, another that we often find is that we put expectations on people, we have expectations of our friends, our parents, our boyfriend - girlfriend, our bosses. We have expectations of how people should show up based on our understanding of the world and based on who we think they are.
If that person doesn't show up in that way we get disappointed but this person is not what we project them to be and what we think they should be.
They are their own person who has their own stories, their own beliefs, and they are doing what they believe is best and that might not align with what we expect or how we expect them to treat us ?, what we expect from them ?, or maybe how we expect them to show up ?.
That expectation we're placing on them is ours to deal with, not theirs. I think some people can find this difficult the the idea of expectation when it comes to people.
So, i just want to clarify that you're allowed to have boundaries. You can have boundaries if people overstep, you're going to challenge them.
That is very different from an expectation because this is what i think is important, what you think is important might not be important to them in the same capacity that it is to you. But if you think it is and if you're saying it is then they're going to show up in this space.
So, it's really important that we can distinguish from the expectations there, but if you have a boundary and someone oversteps that. they say something to you that is unacceptable then you stepping into the space to challenge them onto that.
It's not that you had an expectation, it's that you have a clear set of boundaries that they can't cross and if they do then you challenge them and if it needs to go and you need to not be with that person that's also fine.
Seeing with a Different perspective to Counter Disappointment
This is the importance, we're not saying expectations because expectations lead to disappointment. if i imagine someone is something they are not and they don't show up in that way of course i'm going to be disappointed.
If i imagine something's going to happen this year and i expect it to happen in the way that i imagine then of course i'm going to be disappointed. But if i just go through and say,
“ okay cool. Well, i've got this event that's going on later this year. Let's just see what happens.”
I don't know what's going to happen between now and that event but let's see if it goes on. Awesome, let's go with it. If it doesn't, then maybe there's a reason, maybe there's another flow, maybe there's some other opportunity here.
I think what we're seeing is that there's been a lot of of negative things that have happened this year or there's been good and bad however you want to look at that and there have been some challenging spaces created and there's been some opportunities created.
Conclusion
It is important that we look for those opportunities, look at what is presented, and look at the reality that is presented in front of us. Not clinging on to the expectations of what we had or what we thought we had and just going with the flow. That surrender that acceptance makes it a lot easier just to go with that
You can adapt to that, you can change and then see what can go beyond that ? or what opportunity that brought with it ?
So, yeah this is one of the most important lessons i feel i've learned this year maybe it's something that you've found, you've learned and like i said expectations lead to disappointment and your expectations of people that's not necessarily who they are, that's you expectation, but if you're setting boundaries and people are crossing those.
That's not necessarily the same as an expectation and you should honor and respect your own boundaries in that space. That's what we're talking about.
Related Articles :
Dealing with Disappointment : 4 Helpful tips to Get Over It
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Hello @hollowins
Based on your conclusions, conformism is not good, you must always fight, move forward to achieve your goals. What is happening in the present helps us to learn not only from achievement, but also from errors and mistakes; they maintain a teaching that offers the expectation of continuing to walk towards the promising future. Respecting the limits would not be the most appropriate thing, preferring to say and do that I am going to overcome these limits, eliminate them from my life and for this we must work to improve every day.
I congratulate you on your article. Thanks for sharing!
Hola @hollowins
Basándome en sus conclusiones, no es bueno el conformismo, siempre se debe luchar, avanzar para lograr las metas. Lo que va aconteciendo en el presente nos sirve para aprender no sólo del logro, sino también de los errores y desaciertos; ellos mantienen una enseñanza que ofrece la espectativa se continuar caminando al futuro promisorio. Respetar los límites no sería lo más propio, prefiero decir y hacer que voy a vencer dichos límites, eliminarlos de mi vida y para ello se debe trabajar en mejorar cada día.
Te felicito por tu artículo. Gracias por compartirlo!
Hi @wayuu-reg ,
First, I'm glad to see other perspectives and I appreciate that. As I mentioned above concept of expectations refers to the beliefs that we hold about the outcomes of events and are often based on other people or social contracts, while belief in ourselves, we're holding on to our hope. I hope that makes sense.
again Thankyou for your kind words 🤝
You're absolutely right Hollowins, I have had different experiences on this and like you have said, too much expectations most times bring about disappointment and we just have to be careful.
Hi @hopestylist ,
suround ourself with love and right people, anything is possible. What we do from there is what really matters. 😀
You are right Hollowins, the once we surround ourselves with play a very vital role in our lives.
This post right here is whole. It is black and white and everything you wrote. Most times we have this big picture of how everything is supposed to be like or feel.
When we don't get it, the frustration kicks in. It is certainly important to let go of unnecessary expectations and focus on the moment.
Hi @kei2,
wonderful insight, take a moment to grieve when we don't live up to whatever expectations we set up. then let it go and later on make a smaller and more realisticly. thankyou for stoping by 🤝
You are welcome.
I was telling a friend about your post today... I found it quite thought-provoking... how a change in mindset and focus can keep us more grounded, less thrown, and still keep all possibilities open. Thank you for sharing this insightful perspective 🤗
Hi @samsmith1971 ,
i hope i don't hurt anybody's feelings.
as our greatest battle is not in physical worlds, but our own minds. good day~
I am not sure that you would... it's just adding a different perspective to the mix 🤗
Wow...this is amazing
I have once written on expectations before out of so many life experiences.
Just like you said, expectations lead to disappointment. It is good to set a goal, and work towards it with a positive mindset but expecting from people or friends or family can lead to disappointment. Better don't expect from people so that when it comes, it will be a surprise
I came from #dreemport
Hi @nkemakonam89 ,
To put in perspective having high intentions - low expectations, is what i'm telling my self until i really get it and to see reality as beautiful.
thankyou for coming~ 🤝
The scriptures say that "postponed expectation makes the soul sick", so waiting for something that doesn't happen or doesn't happen as we wish is a disappointment. But on the other hand, hope helps us move forward with optimism. In addition, what you say about this 2022 is very true, but also what we have experienced throughout the pandemic showed how things can change overnight. So I think it is vital for our survival and not to die trying, to cultivate resilience, which will allow us in the face of setbacks or failures, to be able to get up and move on and not allow disappointment to be something that stop us, but that we change its face so that it is only a delay in the achievement of our objectives or helps us to change direction towards a better course.
#dreemport
Hi again @marbrym ,
I agree with your statement. while holding hope there is no attachment to others except ourselves. when hope is a feeling of optimism or a desire something will happen (not we anticipate). On the other hand, the fulfillment of hope doesn't depend on others. Again, thank you for sharing your thought 🤝
Thank you for sharing such insightful thoughts 🙏
You're welcome 🤝
Very comprehensive essay on disappointment! Good food for the brain and the soul to meditate on! Thanks, @hollowins!
Hi @acgalarza ,
Glad you enjoyed the article
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Wow, two badges in a row, that's awesome @hollowins! 🎉
Wait. I thought you're a bot. gosh my bad.
Anyway, thankyou
When I learnt that folks will disappoint you if you put your trust in them that's another beginning of a new phase. Expectations from lots of people will lead to disappointment because their priorities matters more than yours. So you are right when you said expectations leads to disappointment and when you put your trust in your own self you achieve much better. I came in from #dreemport.
Exactly, like with Covid. It closed many doors, but actually opened a door for some.
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