Introduction
Disappointment must not necessarily come from big expectations like failing at getting a new job. You can get disappointed by little things such as finding out that the next episode of the TV show that the current the watch was delayed for a couple of days and now you have to wait for a decade
Of course the next episode will eventually come out and you will watch it later but you wanted to watch it today. You expected it today so you feel disappointed just a little. But still even such a small trouble can give you that unpleasant feeling.
We all get disappointed several times each day your whole life, sometimes this feeling can go almost unnoticed and sometimes it can ruin your whole day or even a week and more. I guess you would want to get rid of this annoying feeling.
What does disappointment feel like and Why am I Disappointed ?
Let's see what we can do,
First thing foremost let's understand why we feel disappointment ?
We feel disappointment when our expectations don't correspond to its reality we want it or expected. we think we got disappointed, you wanted your ice cream to look how it's shown on images and in reality it looks much worse, you get slightly disappointed
So, as you can see an increase in importance of the thing that you expect brings increasement in potential disappointment. What can we do about it ?. The only way you can forever eliminate disappointment is by changing your thoughts, your mindset and your view towards everything that happens to you.
Because let's look at this situation, realistically we can't make outside world to always meet our expectations. It's just impossible. what you can do is to change your expectations.
Epictetus already gave us that answer. He said, “ do not seek to have events happen as you want them to but instead want them to happen as they do happen and your life will go well.”
The trick here is to remove any expectations and desire for a certain outcome you have, to want, or expect nothing from a certain event, or future in general ; and by nothing I also mean everything in that case nothing means everything and vice versa.
If you expect nothing then whatever happens, happens as you want it because you had no particular desire for any outcome. If you wanted everything then whatever happens, happens as you want it because you had a desire for any outcome.
It needs to be clarified that by expecting everything, I don't mean that you should calculate all possible scenarios of a certain event. Just be aware of most probable outcomes and hold in your mind.
The fact that something may go neither in any of those ways if you can prepare for a certain unwanted outcomes and think that preparation is worth a result and prepare for it.
That way you can minimize negative consequences if the outcome will be somehow damaging to you. If there is no need for preparation or it is not worth the time or resources, then just forget about it and don't overthink it.
But still if you categorize some outcomes as wanted and some as unwanted, then when an unwanted outcome plays out you might get disappointed even if you prepare for it. Ideally you have to view any outcome as wanted even those that will make your situation much worse.
That will be like a pro level mindset or mindset of stoic sage. Now that I have explained what mindset you should have to never get disappointed.
Responding to disappointment
Let's talk about how to adapt that mindset
I'm going to show you two concepts to remove this disappointment from your life.
Its practical part so that you can start implementing this concept to fight disappointment, basically there are things in this world that we can control, things that we can partially control or influence and things that we can't control or influence at all.
For the things that we can fully control, if we really can fully control them then we can do with them whatever we want without the possibility of getting an obstacle from outside the world.
Next are the things that we can partially control for example, a job interview. If you are applying for a job and being questioned by an employer, all you can do is to give the best answer that you can give.But in the end the only person that will decide whether you receive a job or not is the employer.
He /she has full troll choosing the person for a job, you can influence employers opinion of you by your answers and that will change the chances of getting the job but it's not you who decides whether you get the job or not. You can only increase your chances.
So, for situations like this when it can only partially influence and control the outcome, the way to remove disappointment is to do whatever is in your power and influence. You can just remove a desire for a certain outcome.
You did all you could, you can't change anything and anymore. So, there is no point in designing something, wishing, and thinking about it. Whatever will happen from this moment is of no control from you so relax and enjoy the show. No amount of hope or worrying will change anything.
For cases when you can't control the situation at all like weather for example. There is no point in expecting something particular anything can happen and you can't change or influence that. You can only prepare for certain outcomes to face them more effectively if they occur.
The understanding of the fact that you can't change the outcome of a certain event should already clear your mind of high hopes for the future. You don't have high hopes you don't get disappointed easily, you don't have hopes at all you don't get disappointed at all.
Now let's talk about the second instrument to fight disappointment. This instrument is called Amor Fati in Latin that means love your destiny.
Basically the trick here is that whatever happens to you, you should think that it happened because it was destined to happen. So nothing could change it. You give power over your future to some higher being like God, universe, destiny, or anime girls.
Whatever you believe in if that helps you think that something has a plan for you and everything happens for a reason then it will help you to remove disappointment from your life. If something bad happens to you then if you think that it happened because it was destined to happen. It was the only way and that this bad thing or outcome will eventually lead to some good things in your life.
Conclusion
Well that was it. These were the methods out there that you can think about to remove disappointment. Don't forget that even if you'll adapt this phase of dealing with expectations you still need training in applying these methods because you'll have to revive your brain to think in a different way and that will not happen instantl.y so take some time each day to think about these concepts and how and when you could apply them.
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This post was obtained through Dreemport.Hahahahaha, I couldn't even imaging turning my life over to "anime girls" @hollowins! That was hilarious! Yes, a wise man once said,"if you plan for the worst and the better comes along and happens, give thanks." I don't remember who said it, but it works lol! I personally wing it, turn it all over to God and not worry about it. Excellent post!
Self motivation can temp the stench of disappointment too I think. For me, just getting back up already is a factor that would send me back into the race.
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This is a great point, I find that when I'm expecting something those expectations are rarely reached, I.E if a new Tv show, movie, or game is coming out I often don't watch trailers or think about it as usually when I do it can't live up to my mental image of it.
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Having a mindset that views disappointment as a blessing in disguise is not a bad idea.
I came to your post via dreemport.
Beautiful hacks one could use to help oneself...indeed we should live life the way life plays events not the way we do play it in our mind. Very important article everyone needs to know about.
Popped in through Dreemport as always 💗💗
Disappointment is meant to occur at different times but also taking charge of the things which we can control will help to prevent disappointments from occurring regularly.
Nice one 👍
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I enjoyed this post 👏
Many of us are easily disappointed in life because of our expectations of things. When we expect things to go our way but it doesn't, the reality is dawned on us, making us feel like we do not have a say. Of course, there are things we have a say in and things we do not have a say too. Life will never be only for the things we can control, but also for those things we cannot control.
The best is to have the mindset that we are only trying our best and we shouldn't always expect things to go the way we want them.
When expectations come in contact with reality, it brings disappointment but when we learn to understand that things could go wrong at any time, we won't be disappointed but allow things to go the way they want.
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You have said a lot and it is so relatable. Situations that can be controlled but could not be controlled are what brings more disappointment. It's always good not to expect too much from anything even while doing your best.
#dreemport brought me here.
I Love the write up on the First picture which is to expect nothing mine would rather be don't expect much one thing that causes being disappointed is expecting too much from something.
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