I lost my dad about a year ago, in his life I thought I didn't care if he dies or not, because we had a very bad relationship. but, when he dies, I feel that I lost an important part of myself, I cried, I mourn, and I feel really bad for a long time.
No one prepares you for that, and no one has the right words for losing a loved one.
I hope you feel relief soon 🤗