Do you think I’m overreacting? My best friend seems to find pleasure in having close relationships with the people that have fallen apart with me. She’s a sweet girl and all, but I don’t feel good about that trait of hers, however, I feel like I’m overreacting.
She further narrated two of those events that made her write in in the first place. She said she had a boss who frustrated her life with lies until she quit the company. However, on social media comment sections, her best friend and her former boss act mushy like they were in some kind of very close relationship. Meanwhile, her best friend knew her boss through her, and she knew the details of what the boss did to her.
The second scenario which seemed to be the stronger one was her best friend having a long phone conversation with her ex - fiancé. When I heard that, I was like, “wait a minute”. Her ex – fiancé, not boyfriend? What could they be talking about? I thought. The laughter from the guest of the event interrupted my thoughts, and then I listened further.
She confronted her best friend, and she was met with the usual gaslighting. “You are being petty”. That was her best friend’s response.
The funny thing is, I’ve been in such situations that I fell out with people because they fell out with my friends.
I remember my best friend’s ex-boyfriend who broke up with her after a three years relationship, moved to me. The first question I asked him was, “is it a joke or it’s for real?” To think I was trying to make them reconcile and he moved to me. I told my best friend without hesitation and immediately, we blocked him together.
Friendships are one of the sacred relationships in life, even though it is subjective. However, I believe that the people you call your friends deserve some form of respect from you, and that should include stopping being friends with the people that misbehaved with your friends.
Sometimes, the things that you think make you special is actually not special, however, you wouldn’t know until you have the kind of relationships your friends had with them before they fell out.
The reason you think you are still special to that person is because they’ve fallen out with your friend, and they, by all means possible want to use you to spite your friend. It is your responsibility to make sure you are not the weapon fashioned against your friend. It is very important.
I understand that you want people to find you likeable, however, people-pleasing and friendships do not go together. It’s either you want to please people, or you want your friendship to have the quality, respect, and the peace it deserves.
The guest on that podcast said something that stuck with me. She said, “they probably are friends with you because they have things that make them feel superior to you, and whenever they realize that you’ve measured up to their success and they have no reason to Lord over you anymore, they find ways to spite you by forming close bonds with the people that have fallen out with you”.
So, what do you do with those kind of friends? You EX them. They become your ex-friends or ex-best friends as the case maybe. You don’t want to always fight your sanity or physical well-being because of friendship.
And, I hope that you are not that person that combines people-pleasing with friendships. You be a better friend, and you’ll be able to realize it when you are being used or played in your friendships.
Images are mine.
Posted Using INLEO
Human relationships are complex because each person has his or her own personality and character. Unfortunately, sometimes we make the mistake of wanting to please everyone in order to fit in and we may neglect the friendships that are really worthwhile.
You're very correct. And when they realize that they lost diamonds while they were busy picking stones, it would be late already.