Friendship is an underrated form of love
..which could also be extremely toxic
(Photo by me)
I was casually strolling on the streets of Twitter when I came across a tweet from a certain verified account, it was something about making your own friendship squad and how it would save your life.
I was going to save the tweet when I accidentally refreshed, it’s lost now.
It might be the algorithm of social media or just luck for me to see this tweet at this time. A mild wave of acute nostalgia overcame me and I felt the need to talk about it.
Over the years, it is only natural for one to make friends from early stages of childhood up until the day we grow old and grey. If you are lucky and you happen to find the real ones that stay then fine, if not it is still fine because guess what, we all leave the earth ALONE.
Personally from childhood I was a jovial kid up close which aid me make a lot of friends. If you ask me where they are now, I sometimes wonder too.
That was in the past anyways, growing up I lost that excitement but that is aside the point.
Gradually I made new friends as I kept developing. From elementary school to high school and finally the university.
I see those people online that claim to be besties ever since they were kids then I look at myself and laugh. I love making friends but what I want the most is to have my own person, one “bestie” I will go through everything with, be there for her and she will be there for me, our families knows our bond, those kind of friends that turn to family.
Someway and somehow I only get close but in the end we always fall out.
I gave up on searching for that one friend when I got the biggest heartbreak betrayal as a result.
It happened about three years ago.
During that period was when I newly got admitted to the university, at least that was when I met her. Sometime in 2018.
It was our first ever lecture as freshers, me looking confused as a fly looking for its way out I turned to the nearest person to ask questions regarding what lecture hall the class was going to take place. It turned out to be her.
She politely answered and from there we became friends almost automatically.
We were literally Ying and Yang.
We emit opposite energy. She was the jovial and chatty type, while I was the reserved and quiet type. She enjoyed making new friends in the department but I did not. Call me selfish but I just wanted her to myself.
Eventually she introduced a title to our friendship, she called me Bestie. I felt I had won, I had finally found the one.
Despite that, she did not stop making new friends everyday and gave them almost the same energy she gave me. The only difference was the label “Bestie”.
I learned to live with it just to avoid being a clingy friend not knowing that will cost me later.
The friendship was great, she was there for me and I was there for her as well. She spoke to my mum as at that time and I spoke to her uncle, not much but at least a family member knew we were close friends which was one of the things I wanted.
Everything was going smoothly until she became overly close to her other friends, my only problem was that I did not want familiarity with most of them. It wasn’t long till I started feeling unwanted so naturally I became distant.
- I love to protect my energy and I live by a limited amount of people having access to me, so I put myself first.
It was all good until the main betrayal happened. A few weeks after our “breakup” a commotion transpired.
Turned out those new friends of hers, she had back stabbed each and every one of them.
Me inclusive.
I found out she had been spreading rumors and nasty chatter about me to others ever since the beginning of our friendship.
To be honest that was not a problem for me because girls gossip but what hurt me the most was how she would give me hugs and kisses right after the moment she back stab me.
Recalling the tweet I saw earlier, my reflection on that is the saying in pidgin “na who friend never show pepper Dey do squad”.
After this encounter, I have decided to stop trying.
This decision has been great for me, since then I learned how to get used to enjoying my time alone and loving myself even more.
Have you ever had an episode with a bad friend? If yes I would love to know in the comments.
Have a nice one Hivers.
Well as much as we can’t trust anyone anymore 100per
A good friend is still needed
Someone to share thoughts and feelings with
I completely agree with you but a good friend is really rare to find.
I am more than happy to wait to find mine but till then I keep my thoughts and feelings to myself
Hugs
Well for me,life happened eventually
That yearning to find a friend to confide in and stuff,eventually all went under the carpet as the hustling and buzzing of life took its toll...yes I have friends,friends that when I need them they show up and when they need me I show up...but that’s about it for me.I learnt to be my own bestie at least till my partner came along...
Yes the hustling and buzzing of life took its toll, we are all dealing with it. Which is why I am not a clingy friend because I get it too.
I agree with you though, maybe I'll learn to be my own bestie. At least I can't/won't stab myself on the back.
Friendships can be complicated also, like relationships.
But a true friend would indeed love you and not gossip against you, would support you even if you don't always have to share the same opinion or have the same point of view. Sorry about what happened to you. Although we do come and go away from this world alone, we need some people to walk with us through our life, can be for a short time or long, but yes, should not be toxic friendships/relationships.
Wow you really just summarized the essence of this post.
Yes indeed. True friendships/relationships are far from toxic, they are loyal and loving. This is all I yearn for and I am ready to walk alone instead of settling for any less. 😇
Thanks for reading 💕
Hehe, I like to summarize things :))
Sometimes, I do the opposite though.
Yes, agree with you, true friendships can be just loyal and share love!
Have a great week @winniecorp 👋
In that case you have a talent in summary if that's a thing.. haha
Yes they are, I envy those that have found one.
You have a great week as well @mipiano 🌹
Thanks, and you have a cool weekend :)👋
We are on the team of those who have had a friend who then ceases to be a friend in a way as happened to you.😕
And it hurts a lot, huh? Although you make a point about women, this happens dramatically with men as well. We have known some who do not recover from it.😞
Of course, we believe that we usually have reason to trust other people again, gradually giving them our trust and some information. And as we see how he behaves, to be able to give him our friendship. 😎
While that person arrives, it is extremely profitable to use our time as you mentioned, time for ourselves, to grow, to know ourselves better.😙
Greetings @winniecorp ❤️
It does hurt a lot, loosing a friend you once thought you would go through it all with only to watch them gradually become a stranger to you.
Yes this is what I believe in, maybe if time permits, we find them but till then we should do all these and be our own “bestie” haha.
Warm greetings to you too @hive-102879 💕
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