I'm going to keep this one quick because aside from catching up with you it was a pretty uneventful day. And when I think back about it I just feel kinda blank.
And you know what, that's ok. I need a break from the same patterns of thoughts, do this, stretch, refill water do that, check tick boxes, rinse repeat.
Its actually not so much the physical structure that gets to me, its the background processes. There's actually a word for it that's escaping me at the moment, but I'm tired. I'm tired of the negative self talk, the bullying, the worry, it feels more trapping than any of the above structures I've built. The best way to break the mental patterns for me is to do something analog, so today it was tidying and clearing down the clutter.
I wasn't able to get through all of it becuase i'm being careful to mind my back and rest, but it definitely helped. I know I've got a lot more ahead of me but I also know how good it will feel. Theres such a level of inner peace I get from having that kinda stuff sorted out, I know you understand my whays.
I actually remembered today that my Grandma once told me that whenever she couldn't sleep at night she'd start cleaning. Maybe it's some sort of passed down thing.
Regardless, I did some audio layering with the google device playing forest sounds, and the speaker you gifted me playing some chill down meditation music. Lights set to a calming purple vibe, window blinds and the world blocked out.
Going to try to repeat that formula again tomorrow and see where I get.
To you my love, have a wonderful morning and afternoon. I'll be waiting here with open arms ready to chat or watch a film or whatever ya feeling.
I love you to the moon and back my mousey.
Happy Friday.
<3 Dayle
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sounds like you crushed exactly what you needed to do for the day. that's ok, days are gonna be like that, it sucks when we get in cycles anywhere, become linear and ordinary. not at full steam that's for sure. at least it's friday, end of a week, transitioning into a better more open weekend for both of us -- i know you potentially have plans and i'm gonna chill down and then get setup for sunday and the week ahead, nearly the end of the month which i'm thankful for to flex a little bit.
Not sure where we will be in terms of the whole "traffic lights" thing next week, if we are locked down in a "tier3" situation but whatever it is, so be it, stepping through on the daily. I know we have both lots of things to be keeping ourselves busy with, things we both want to make and be proud of, whenever the brain and body are in unison to step up to make it happen.
i'm gonna be drinking plenty of water today, getting exercised, eating well, celebrating the close of play of the week, must remember to restock up on milk for the weekend!
sending you lots of virtual hugs. you probably need them at the moment, it's ok to rest. i know it's against your DNA but you really must do it, you'll feel so much better and you'll know when to get back into stuff with GUSTO!
Mwah,
Mouser x