My plight, my disappointment😥

in Love & Sexuality2 years ago

So you don't love me.... I thought you do, how can you be so heartless...is this love, what...
I was there when you had nothing and now, you want to leave me for a so called learned person
I sponsored you to school, you ingrate......
That was all I kept ranting, I didn't mean to do it publicly and..... But I was angry, sad, confused, depressed, imbalance..... Think of anything., come judge me

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We were friends since childhood and, you won't believe it, my parents was against our closeness, but I told them we just mere friends

He came from a broken home, his mums already with a third husband and his dad has... Disappeared, he couldn't cope since he lost his job and the wife can't stay with a broke husband... So..
Though as at that time, it was indeed mere friendship nothing more
We were still young to understand what feelings was..

We finished secondary school together, he was three years older though, he had delay in his academic because of his family stuffs..

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I had learnt tailoring while going to school, he learnt nothing, he so much believed in education, well that's him, I always wanted to be self employed, and the beliefs don't bother me,as long as he's doing something.

Even before he proposed I do tell guys he's my lover, and turn a blind eye to other suitors..

Fast forward
He did later asked me out one night and I did not hesitate to give him a no....

You thought I could say such... Oh no I screamed Yes... I loved him

Few months later his mum died, and the step-dad was maltreating him and him stopped sponsoring his school, good for him he's through with his secondary school education, just to proceed to the higher institution...
We still awaiting our results... I was eager though since that was where I planned to stop and face my tailoring business...

Well we both came out with good grades.. He persuaded me to continue and I said no... I have parents who could sponsor me, but I like the fact that they respected my opinion after much persuasion

I pushed him ahead, and said I would when he's through with his....
I stole my dad business money to pay his fees, rent an hostel and get him some little things.. Am sure he would be mad at me if he should read or come across this, he trusted me.. My brothers were accused, no one thought it could be me, what would I use such a big amount for, but since they(my two senior brothers) were in higher institution, my dad concluded they were the one, they wanted to live the big boy gang in school he(dad)said
He didn't pay their fees for two terms... One had to drop out, since he was the prime suspect, he was pleaded for by family members before my dad agreed to send him back, and he had to start all over again... You see what I caused... All because of this ungrateful ingrate🤦‍♂️

There was a time i wasn't present at shop for about two months, no clothes to sew and it wasn't celebration period, I would just sit idle and wonder how and what to do,.. Then some came to build a hotel around my shop.. It was there I worked as a laborer for two months carrying sand, blocks, planks.... A whole Me, just to make sure hes doing pretty well in school
He already promised me marriage....so Why can't I see to it that he's made a success

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I don't want to talk bout things no more, I did more and worse for him.. Only for him come kneeling that he's no more interested in me, I dress old, I have issues with my English, I am not presentable... And more Was wat he said...
I can't believe my ears....

You just knew I wasn't presentable... I had issues with my spoken English...
What, Can you hear that
So you don't love me.... I thought you do, how can you be so heartless...is this love, what...
I was there when you had nothing and now, you want to leave me for a so called learned person
I sponsored you to school, you ingrate......everytime you visit, I let you have a go on me, and now I am no more valuable or meaningful to you🙄....i laughed

Even tears couldn't have it's way anymore.... 🤣, am I running mad.. Oh no💘

I can't trustove anymore😭

What is left of me, am wasted, am used am...

What should I do, curse him, have him arrested... Oh no
Kill him.... Ah... What. What
Someone please help 😭🙏

in anticipation of your responses and views thanks so much for your show of love🌹.. More followers are highly welcome🙏