One Summer, Remembered

in Silver Bloggers3 months ago

That's Me, on the Right. Spain, 1967
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I remember the person in that picture. She was so very different from the person I am today, and yet everything I am grew from her. The other young woman in the picture, the one in yellow, was my sister's friend and my travel companion, R_.

1967 was a volatile year in the U.S., and in my life. I had started at NYU in September of '65. I was a scholarship student, completely out of place. Or so I felt, anyway.

The spring before my first semester I had a meeting with the dean of students. He told me the school was giving me a stipend, in addition to the scholarship. NYU didn't want me to work while I was attending classes, he said. The school wanted me to focus on succeeding.

My background was a little rocky. My family had been through some tough times, which didn't look very good on paper. One might say, I wasn't a proper fit, in the NYU culture, but for some reason, the school wanted me.

Well, of course I worked. The school had lovely intentions, but did not have a true idea of what it was like to be poor. At the time I was living with my sister. She was my main support. The school stipend was about $500 a year, which in today's dollars translates to a little over $4,000. Not enough to cover living and school expenses.

I had to work, sometimes two jobs. I juggled the commute to school and to the jobs with my class schedule.

However, in the summer of '67, I received a rather large check from the school--$700. My sister said R_, her friend, wanted to go to Europe, and I should go with her.

"You may never get another chance like this, in your life", my sister said. "Go".

Another Picture of Me, Summer of '67.
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That's how I ended up in Spain. I think the trip saved me. There was so much stress at home, at school. I felt like a fish out of water all the time.

We lived in an attic apartment, and my mother lived with us. It was always embarrassing for me to walk up the winding stairs to our apartment. My mother had tried to furnish our living room with her limited budget, and her ingenuity.

Our 'couch' was three folding chairs tied together by a bit of covered cord. My mother sewed cushions for the seats and backs of the chairs. These cushions matched the cords, in color and fabric.

If guests came to visit, the folding chair couch was the one we invited them to sit on.

Certainly, I would never think of bringing anyone from school to my apartment. Every day at school was a charade. I pretended to be something other than what I was.

This pretense required an impenetrable secrecy, which seemed to be intriguing to my classmates. In a universe where everyone was trying to make friends and fit in, I kept myself apart.

I broke my resolve once. A young man was persistent, and a part of me wanted to connect, somehow. So I let him take me out to a park. He came home with me. He was the son of a research scientist and lived in a posh Manhattan neighborhood.

He planned to be a writer. Maybe he did become one eventually. Who knows where paths took those people I sat next to, passed in the halls. The look on his face when he climbed the winding stairs was almost worth the embarrassment.

He met my sweet mother and sat on her 'couch'. The boy was charmed beyond words. I think my family might have fit into one of the stories in his head. The cream on the cake, the pièce de résistance came when we were walking down the street in front of my apartment.

My brother passed by in his vintage car. The car needed a muffler, and its front fender was conspicuously dented. I waved. The boy looked at me and I told him, "That's my brother."

I couldn't have offered his story a better ending. He was delighted. I'm sure he had expected before we went out that I'd be unusual, because I kept so to myself. I think his imagination was more than well rewarded by the reality of me.

Obviously, after that I couldn't see him again. It was impossible. He had looked behind the veil.

He stopped calling after a while. I think it was when my sister finally told him I didn't want to talk.

The summer of '67. So much tension in my life. So much tension in my country. When I was in Spain, there was no need for a charade. There was no apartment, no couch.

It was the summer of pretend. Every now and then R_ and I would go into a bodega and the TV would show scenes from race riots that were raging in the U.S. A dash of reality, removed from me.

My family didn't hear from me for weeks. Finally, R_'s family contacted her. My mother was desperate. Was I alright?

Another Picture of Me From That Summer
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You can see in the picture, I was fine, living a fairy tale, taking a break from life.

I almost didn't go back. But you see, I did, and I even graduated sort of on time, with a respectable GPA.

Thank you R_. Thank you my sister, my Mom, NYU. It was a most remarkable--essential--summer. I'm grateful for every last, lazy moment of it.

Sort:  

"You may never get another chance like this, in your life", my sister said.

I can understand this. At the second thought, I guess a lot of folks (including myself) did not get even this one chance. Actually, I can say 'thankyou' to my school for a few things, one of them was a short (4-days) train trip to Tallinn back in 1988. Three years after that, in 1991, Estonia will regain its sovereignty and leave the USSR, and I will never again walk across Estonian land.

So - lucky you!!!! by the way, the 2nd photo looks a lot like St.Petersburg :P

!PIZZA

 3 months ago  

Yes, lucky me. I've always thought so, and not just because I got to go to Europe. So many things fell my way and they could have gone otherwise. NYU gave me the scholarship because I had won a state scholarship. That one was by exam...and I was just 4 points above the cutoff. There was another scholarship I won where you had to be in the top ten graduating in your school in order to be eligible. I was number 10! Without those two scholarships, NYU probably wouldn't have looked at me and my life would have been very different. Luck, luck, luck, all the way.

Lucky to have my family, too.

I'm sorry you didn't get to travel. Can't tell by your pictures and your blogs. You seem to be very eclectic in your world view.

Thanks for the comment, the pizza and the reblog :)

🙏 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍 👍

Are you a lucky person, than?.. or just a bright head? or its a lot of decent work and sweat?
NB. voted for your entry in SilverBloggers challenge, i wish you win.

PS. As for my travels: I travelled, but not much, simply could not afford that. 2 times I travelled to the city of Izhevsk (it is apparently the Ural mountains - i.e. still considered Europe, not Asia ;) once I've visited Tallin, with my class, once have been to Poznan in Poland (my only time I visited Europe), and once have been to Turkey. Basically thats all 'overseas' or far travels. A dozen of hike and sail trips across the Ladoga lake in 2000-es - does that counts? thats where some awesome travelshots came from 🙂 here goes more !PIZZA - maybe it will arrive right to your morning coffee?

 3 months ago  

voted for your entry in SilverBloggers challenge, i wish you win.

🌹🌷💐

Turkey! That's exotic. My brother went to wedding there many years ago. One of his school chums invited him and my brother said it was an unforgettable trip. This was when there was a lot of anti-American feeling. His friend was really grateful my brother showed that respect.

Thanks again for the pizza, and the very good wishes, @qwerrie

I love the memories, your content is so full of memories, more energetic one at that.

 3 months ago  

Thank you, @valblesza! What a lovely comment.

 3 months ago  

Your sister was right, opportunities like that have to be grabbed with both hands, they don't often come our way.

I remember the person in that picture. She was so very different from the person I am today, and yet everything I am grew from her.

Beautifully said, that's how it is with all of us!
Wonderful memories @agmoore, thank you for sharing it with us!

 3 months ago  

Thank you, @lizelle ,

She may have been right, but she was also extremely generous. Not many in the world like her.

I was not very sophisticated back then. A lot of growing to do. Some of I managed. Still working at it :)

 3 months ago  

We never stop growing @agmoore no matter how old we are.

And now we see that you are as beautiful on the outside as inside 🥰 You laid bare your vulnerabilities in this piece @agmoore. It's a poignant yet hauntingly beautiful story from your life and I feel blessed that you chose to share it with us. We all feel the need to escape and reset once in a while. I'm so glad you embraced your opportunity fully when it presented itself 💗

ps: you are a master at saying so much in so few words 🙌

 3 months ago  

You are kind, my friend @samsmith1971. I hesitated to be so forthcoming, but then I thought--I'm 77 years old. What difference does it make to anyone, anywhere. It's all history. Most of the people I knew are gone now, and most of them won't be on a blockchain, anyway😇

I enjoyed writing this, and sharing that time in my life.

It's a gift that I have such a gracious audience. Thank you.

💗

How fascinating!
I have lived in Spain a few times over the years. You were there in 1967 so that would have been when Franco was the ruler. It is a wonderful country and I am so glad your sister pushed you to go!
Welcome to the community and I hope to get to your blogs in a less tardy fashion!
Sometimes RL does get in the way...

 3 months ago  

Yes, Franco was the ruler, and we were very conscious of that. Guardia Civil was quite conspicuous. In a way this was intimidating (we were careful about what we said in public) and in a way it was reassuring. We were two women traveling and the joke was that crime was really low under Franco.

Thank you for your comment. I loved Spain. I still do, though I will never go back (those travel days are over), my granddaughter will be in Barcelona in a few days. I think her planned visit to Spain brought back memories and prompted this post.

I look forward to blogging in Silver Bloggers, and to reading other blogs. It's a great community.

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 3 months ago  

Thank you! I am honored

Fantastic story! Always fascinating to imagine all the 'what if' scenarios. What if you kept in touch, or got closer to that guy? What if you did just stay in Spain and dropped university?

I look forward to the day I can look back in time this far and think a million what-if's. I can already look back pretty far and have so many unanswerables!

PS: I hope those camels' children are doing ok =D

 3 months ago  

Hi @mobbs
You always have such interesting comments.

What if...at my age I look back and am actually grateful that it all worked out OK, at least so far. There were forks in the road. One of the most significant was my choice to marry. I had applied to grad school that year, and then I met my husband. What to do?? I saw it as a choice between retreat (grad school..a life in academia, quiet, sheltered) or jumping in an grabbing the rough and tumble of real life, of conflict and engagement. I was brave. I chose the marriage. Bumpy ride but a safe landing :)

As for staying in Spain. It wasn't really a choice. My family had invested in me. I wasn't an isolate. When NYU offered the chance to go to college full time, I had to consult with my mother and sister. My sister was carrying household expenses. My mother hadn't been well for a while, so when I chose to go to college, that meant my sister would continue in the supporter role. We made a bargain. When I graduated, I would take over. That's what happened. I told her not only to go to school, but to put a thousand miles between us and her. She did that, and started her own journey. Not everything worked out exactly according to plan, but you see, I couldn't stay in Spain. I had responsibilities.

I think I just started another blog :))

When I read your blogs, I relate to them, because you haven't had a smooth ride. You made choices and it really gladdens my heart that these have worked out for you.

You always have such interesting comments.

Haha I dunno about that...

I was brave. I chose the marriage.

That paints such a cool picture of romance, still so alive! You clearly made the right choice =D

I relate to them, because you haven't had a smooth ride

A lot less smooth than I'd like to admit, too... but as you say, it's working out. I'll have to live with an innumerable number of regrets, but I suppose that's all part of the journey to reminisce about in a couple of decades ^__^

A good comment, indeed. I like your perspective on this.

They don't call me Mr. Perspective for nothing!

I'm glad you got that much-needed escape. Did the two of you get to ride those camels?

 3 months ago  

Did the two of you get to ride those camels

😂

No, unfortunately.

I can identify somewhat with your college experience. I came from the north side of Dublin, the wrong side. I had the wrong accent and everyone would look around when I spoke. I kept myself to myself and didn't make a single friend in 3 years at college, though I became a bit of a celebrity, the northsider. I could never invite anyone to my house besides my best friend from school, who knew about my mother.

 3 months ago  

There are a lot of intersections in your history and my history. Our mothers are not among these (mine wasn't perfect, but boy did she try). For most of my childhood we lived in what was virtually a shack. Broken floors. Broken furniture. The attic apartment was a step up. It was respectable though though humble. We made that advance by fleeing (literally) from my father. So many secrets😄. At one point, I freed myself from the secrets and started writing. It was quite a relief. All those things that happened--my shack, your mother--these weren't our fault. We both seem to have let that past go. Liberating, isn't it?

It's like the line from My Way..'and now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing'. Who could have imagined we could laugh at what once seemed such a tragedy?

 3 months ago  

🦉⏰

Your family, despite being poor, taught you values and supported you to study and graduate, you are a simple person who had no shame to invite a friend to your house, greetings friend, how well you look in the pictures, happy Tuesday.

 3 months ago  

Hello dear friend, @cetb2008. You are right...my family was wonderful. You and I have that in common. Family is the glue that holds everything together.

Thank you for the very kind comment.

Beautiful photographs! Love the vintage look of them. The style of the era is so classy and fun. Great to see you had this opportunity to travel at that young age and explore alternate cultural signals. Spain is perfect because the high-energy Latin realities make it a vibrant place and ideal for a mental reboot. 💃

 3 months ago  

Spain is perfect because the high-energy Latin realities make it a vibrant place and ideal for a mental reboot

We stayed mostly in Andalucia, in sleepy Cádiz. Maybe time has caught up with Cádiz today, but not in 1967. There was nothing dynamic or vital about the city. It was perfect for me, a retreat. Not remotely related to my life. A true escape.

Thanks for reading :)

Ah, yes, a sleepy city would be different than a major center like Madrid or Barcelona. Now it might be different thanks to the explosion in tourism in general.

 3 months ago  

Yes. Even Seville, which is a short train ride away, was much more vibrant. It is the capital of Andalucia. But Cádiz, and small towns around there, were frozen in time. Hotels on the shore were host to European tourists. These were modern. But in the rest of the city, it seemed time stood still.

I've been to Seville briefly but went on my way to other places like Marbella along the coast 🌞

Poverty is such a scourge, isn’t it? Many don’t have the tenacity (or the luck) to break its crippling chains. I’m so glad that you had the opportunity to take a breather and find yourself “saved”.

 3 months ago  

Hello my friend @itsostylish

Luck, Luck, Luck. And part of that was family. They stood by in some really rough times. I didn't always behave selflessly.

I'm not glad I was poor, but I am glad I know the stuff it taught me.

Thank you very much for reading🌹

You sure know how to write a biographical story! Now why was it impossible to see a man who was charmed by your frugal life? I don't understand that bit.

 3 months ago  

Thank you for the kind assessment of my piece.

why was it impossible to see a man who was charmed by your frugal life?

I was humiliated. I grew up in shame. We were taught to hide, my whole life, to pretend we were not poor. The shame was irrational, but that's how I was brought up, and I internalized it. He knew my secret and it was unbearable. I couldn't face him. Too bad. He seemed very interesting 😄

I wonder if he still wonders about you. I wonder if he was poor too, and is would have been comforting for him to be with you. I wonder a lot of things about this story. Thank you for writing it, I love it.

 3 months ago  

You are wonderful 🌹 Thank you

You certainly do have the imagination of a writer :) There are no dead ends, only possibilities.

Such memories

PIZZA!

$PIZZA slices delivered:
@qwerrie(1/5) tipped @agmoore (x2)