Have you ever noticed how "old people" — however you might define that, in your own mind — tend to have fewer filters and sometimes come across as very blunt and direct with what they say?
Sometimes we try to dismiss such things and just say things like "It's OK, they don't know better" or "Oh, they're just having a bad day!" but is that really true?
As a dedicated people watcher, one of the things I've noticed is that the older people get, the more they seem to be genuinely true to themselves, and not so fearful of holding their authentic opinions about life.
Now, I'm not talking about forgiving outright rudeness here... I'm simply talking about unapologetically having an opinion, even if it doesn't fit societal standards or the current barometer for "wokeness" or whatever.
I remember watching this in my own auntie (the one who partially raised me) who had no hesitation in telling people when something was being done incorrectly, or in an inconsiderate manner. She wasn't trying to "impress" anyone, ever.
I believe it was Gandhi who once remarked:
"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."
Those are actually wise words to live by, but how often do we actually live by them?
I know that when I was younger a worried a lot more about "what others thought about me" and thus what I said tended to be an incomplete or abbreviated version of my real opinion.
Upon reflection, I was definitely not happy as a result... and much of the time my actions were actually informed by fear; fear of the consequences of words that were not "pleasing" to others.
At the Holiday Fair we attended this past weekend, our "neighbor" merchant was a very lovely woman in her late 30's, who also happened to be single and "hopeful" for meeting a life partner and love.
We got to talking about the how of meeting the right person for you... and touched upon the important point that to meet someone you're truly compatible with you don't need to "put yourself out there" at the club or bar scene... if the club or bar scene isn't where you feel the most naturally yourself!"
I haven't been part of the dating and mating circus for decades, but when I was, the best advice I got was "spend more time in the public places where you feel most yourself and relaxed, and then be OPEN to the possibilities."
For me, that was browsing bookstores, photographing on the beach and in nature, and having deep intense discussions in niche forums online, dedicated to psychology, spirituality and the human experience.
And yes, I (re)connected with Mrs. Denmarkguy (whom I've actually known since I was 13) through exactly one of those avenues.
Conversely, I never made it beyond a second date while trying to meet someone through typically recommended "meat market" dating spots.
What does this all have to do with the topic of this post?
It speaks to the importance of being authentically ourselves, in both word and deed. The opportunity to do is there... and we don't have to wait till we're "old," whatever that means.
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great rest of your week!
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Created at 2024.12.17 23:52 PST
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I have not learnt that before but I totally agree with that definition of happiness - when what you say, think and do agree
I believe we reach a point in life where we just get tired of presenting any kind of outward appearance that is in disagreement with how we really feel.
Thank you!
Great job! Keep up the good work! 👏 !STRIDE (Comment !STOPSTRIDE to stop receiving upvotes & STR)
(10/250)
@denmarkguy! @thestrider Loves walking/running, and wants to motivate your stride as well! so I just sent 0.1 STR to your account on behalf of @thestrider.
Keep your stride high!
I am 68 years old, and find myself being more blunt than I used to be. I have an older sister who has never had a filter, is quite self-centered, and has a reputation for being outspoken to the point of rudeness. I don't want to get that blunt. But I do want to be more comfortable expressing my true opinions and beliefs, if I can do it without coming across as a cranky old lady.