Change is inevitable, and around our place change is definitely in the air.
These days, I am much aware of change, in the context of the fact that next year we plan so sell our house — our home — of many years so we can move to a smaller, less expensive and easier to maintain situation.
One of the things I have learned about myself is that I tend to spend a lot more time thinking about and ruminating on than actually doing things and putting them into action.
I suppose it's a somewhat common predicament, experienced by a lot of people.
And so I find myself asking the inevitable question “Why is this so difficult to just DO rather than think about changes, forever?”
Moving is daunting, of course. But most of my previous moves have been huge cross-country, or even across the ocean.
Even so, my reality — as I am experiencing it — is one of feeling like I am taking a completely new direction. And not only that, I feel hesitation and a bit of anxiety about taking this new direction and committing fully to it... I am deliberately shinking the scope of my life.
It's a natural part of aging, of course. I remember how my parents downsized and moved from their sprawling house in Mesa, Arizona to a compact condo.
Am I just having hesitant feelings about this impending change, because it is an admission of growing old? I don't think so. Aging has never worried me... except for the possibility of dying slowly in a lot of phsyical pain.
We're not that old!
As part of this process will come an increased need for mindfulness in all things. Moving to a smaller place is a bit like moving onto a boat. Or into an RV. You only get to take the stuff you really need and use because there will be no room for anything more.
No more "I'll figure that out later."
Part of the process will be a bit of a year-long reminder of just how much stuff a person accumulates over time. I'm by no means a hoarder, although I have a "collecting instinct" that means that if I really like some kind of "thing," I tend to want more than one of them.
Not in the sense of things like toaster ovens, but definitely different forms of arts and crafts, and such.
Ultimately, just dust collectors.
Things to be gotten rid of, in the greater scheme of things. As an elderly friend was wont of saying, many moons ago: "Shrouds have no pockets."
The kids don't actually want most of the stuff, but because I have collected it I have a certain tendency to want to sell it all, rather than just haul it to the second-hand shops en masse.
At the end of it all, I know I will feel a sense of relief, because I have long felt rather overwhelmed by life. It became obvious that our place was too much after the kids left and it was obvious that there would not be lots of grandkids coming to stay.
Since the start of the year I have increasingly been committing to the upcoming change... sorting and getting rid of things; putting things for sale on eBay and "loosening my grip" on the things that are marginally interesting.
It's the cycle of life. In youth and middle age we are always acquiring; as we get older we start to get rid of things.
I try not to be complacent... just because "we have a year."
A year is not actually that long!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a wonderful Friday!
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Created at 2025.02.21 00:20 PST
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