I knew it had to be done sometime, but I was not ready.
The past eighteen months have been a slippery slope, one step at a time, sometimes steady, at other times tentatively, unsure of the next step, and just when I think I've reached the top, I falter and slide all the way down.
Mixed feelings, yes, but a decision had to be made sooner or later.
The responsibility of a large property is starting to weigh me down.
I will miss our green valley, every nook and cranny of our home, and our beautiful lush garden.
Best to make a move while I'm still capable of tackling the enormous task of sorting through fifty years of toil - in the office, and at home. It would be heartwrenching not to be the one who decides which part of our lives ends up in recycling.
I kept the meticulously filed projects that were close to hubby's heart.
Books were sorted, and the ones I'm discarding fitted into six large boxes which will be donated to a charity.
I kept those close to my heart in smaller bookcases.
Looking back over the years, would I do things differently if I could rewind the clock?
Some yes, but most not.
I for sure would have been more aware of how precious and fleeting each moment is, and treasure them!
Life is for living - the highs, the lows. Ecstasy and agony, as well as the mundane! Have I appreciated the latter? Not as much as I should have!
All this living was done with someone at my side, and now it's only me, which sucks! Yes, I'm blessed with wonderful special people in my life, but it simply is not the same. My soulmate is gone.
Everything in our home speaks of him. Am I crazy to leave it all behind?
Some may say yes, why say goodbye to all that's familiar, the garden, the green valley, and our lovely home?
What once was just a three-bedroom house sitting on a sandy hill, has been developed into a larger home and a garden cottage plus a beautifully landscaped garden.
Hubby with his engineering background made sure everything stood on strong foundations, with more than sufficient reinforcement and drainage. He was a deep thinker and made brilliant use of space, adding innovative little touches.
The large hidden balcony that sits between the cottage living room and bedrooms is a wonderful surprise for our BnB guests. The studio unit boasts a beautiful face-brick arch that forms an alcove for the bed and gets many oohs and aahs from guests.
Our property sits at the beginning of a huge green valley, a truly unique setting in a city suburb. The stream deep down in the valley makes it impossible for new property developments that are popping up everywhere, stripping the land of vegetation, and felling giant old trees. Enormous bamboos stand proudly along the banks of our stream.
Those who know me, understand that the time has come for me to leave this treasured place. A little piece of my heart will stay behind, but there's enough left to start a brand new adventure.
Moving to a smaller home means I have to minimize big time. The worldly goods collected over the past fifty years weighs me down but will soon be down to that which is relevant to the here and now.
Although it's been difficult deciding what paperwork and books to keep, I already am starting to feel 'lighter.'
Material goods mean nothing after all. The memories will stay forever etched in my mind, in my heart, and in my soul, and will follow me no matter where I go!
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I may not be at that level yet, but I certainly can understand the feeling and situation as I witnessed my mother and aunt underwent a similar situation in the past. Material things are accumulated throughout our adult life, but sadly, we would not be able to keep track of everything as other concerns also keep piling up. Indeed, material possessions are good, but what is really important are the memories that are attached to it. As long as the basic needs are met (and a little bit more for some reasonable wants), then we can have a simpler life yet lighter burden to carry.
I absolutely agree with you that one needs to keep:You for sure understand @bettsmarie09, I already feel lighter!
It's not easy making these kinds of decisions, but it would be foolish and selfish of me to be stubborn and stay while my children are worried about me.
Thank you for stopping by, nice meeting you.
A time for all of us in life to make heart-rending decisions Lady Lizzie, but I see it as the closing of a chapter in my book of life. So now the new chapter in your life is opening.
Marian says that you see life the same way as us, and we wish you all of the best on your way forward.
Remember that you are in our prayers.
All our !LUV to you.
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Thank you dear Zak, to you & Marian for your love and prayers, you both are close to my heart.
Yes it's a new chapter and although I feel sad, I am looking forward to it. Will still take some time.
Lots of love and blessings to both of you!
You know that you are also close to our hearts Lady Lizzie, and we hope that the new chapter will turn out absolutely fabulous for you.
!PIZZA and all our !LUV
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!LUV 🤗🤗🤗
Thank you. This was a beautiful thing to read. It makes me appreciate my significant other more and to treasure the time that I have left.
Thank you for reading Zak! Enjoy each moment of your life together, and the children. Learn to slow down, life passes by in a flash!
I hope your leg is healed now?
Have a great Saturday 💕
The hole in my leg is nearly healed.
Just need to remain vigilant and patient.
Yes please take good care of it Zak, now is the time to really nurse it🙏
Will do! !LUV
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Is to time to move already? Or are you making a head start to go through 50 years of your life? I can imagine there will be many difficult decisions to make on a what to keep or not, it must bring up so many memories in the process. Luckily you can digitise so many things nowadays, or maybe even do a video of yourself and your home, not to post of course, but for your own memory. Have a good weekend Lizzie
A long way from moving but yes dear LUT, I'm making a head start. 50 years is a lifetime of stuff that needs sorting, not just ours but also my late uncle's, my Dad and Mom's treasured memories that I'm sorting to give to family and keep for myself. It's unreal how much one accumulates, especially if you're a sentamentalist. My Mom even kept a letter I wrote to my aunt when I was 6, so funny😄
Have a great weekend too!
PS good idea to make a video, can share it with our sons❤️
Having moving countries and continents I know only too well what you are going through Lizzie.
The amount of things we have donated to charity over the years has been quite incredible and we have downsized to about as small as we go.
It is great you are starting ahead of time, just don't over do things...
I think you know me by now Ed, yep guilty as charged! I'm sure you know just how much work goes into engineering projects, I pushed myself to get all those files sorted and out the way. When I was tired, Bonginkosi and Cynthia quietly carried on unpacking, so I kept on going.
I can imagine the stress of moving continents, so much more work than just moving possessions!
To me the biggest job is done, could not just discard, will be much easier deciding on furniture etc.
Yes so watch that shoulder and neck of yours.
Yeah I am so very ruthless now, and go on sprees of thrashing things or taking them to charity shops. But yes moving has had problems with paperwork lost that is for sure.
The furniture is the easy thing to move funnily enough!
My goodness, how well I understand all of this!
Whereever you go, I know you will bring your lovely self and make that just as wonderful a place as the one you are leaving.
Being away from places that my Niko was ever a part of has helped me to grieve a bit less often because there are fewer memories popping up.
I can't believe it though. I don't think I could leave this treasured place of yours. I feel like I am leaving your treasured place!
The estate agency is a small family owned business and they also are in love with the property. They've been putting feelers out to investors, finalizing the nitty gritty this week before advertising.
I just worry about my staff, hopefully they can be taken over, as they both know every nook and cranny here, very valuable. I will make sure they're well taken care of either way.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend <3Awe thank you @owasco, you know exactly what it feels like! I wasn't ready for a long while, but know that it's going to be a whole new adventure.
you will always have your memories in your head, in your heart, far more important than material things maybe? I don't know, but onwards and upwards I say. Never look back always move forwards. Good luck Miss.
For sure, I don't hold onto material things, these files were more important to me. Most of it is not stored electronically, but I still only kept a fraction of what was there before. Shows just how much unnecessary stuff one collects!
Thank you @grindle 😊
you're welcome @lizelle
I read your post carefully, I know you are suffering but it is not good for you, you already went through a major loss and you live fed by your beautiful memories and you have been very strong, do not fall apart now for material things that to tell the truth you already enjoyed at the time and a lot with your great love. Cheer up, new paths, new joys and much to tell us, because we will be all the time together with you. We have learned to love you. I know that your Hive friends adore you. A big hug. 🤗🥰❤️❤️❤️
I am blessed with wonderful friends, and my friends here on Hive as well🥰Thank you dear @manani,you are such a caring soul, I really appreciate your concern. I will be 100% fine (well let's be honest, 99%) but am looking forward to a simpler life, way less responsibilities, as well as new adventures. I agree the material things were there for our enjoyment, and I really don't mind letting go of that.
It's demanding making these kinds of decisions and everything that goes with them. Take lots of care of yourself as you go through the process.
Glad that you are starting to feel lighter.
Thank you for your encouragement 🙏Hi @shanibeer, yes it's quite a journey but good to throw out stuff that has no relevance like hubby's engineering books and records etc. He just never got around to it.
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This is such a heartfelt and beautifully penned reflection on moving forward while honouring the past. The way you describe the home, the green valley, and the careful planning that went into every detail shows the deep love and connection you and your husband had with it.
In this next chapter, I hope you find comfort in the love that still surrounds you, your words remind me to cherish every moment, because time moves ever so swiftly.
I Wish you peace and beautiful new adventures ahead.