Last night I wrote a 2500 word post with around 40 images...
It took so, so many hours to complete (at 3am!!!)
The strange part is that even as my fingers struck the keys with a furious intensity, I KNEW no-one would get through the whole thing. It wound up being something like a 20 minute read.
So... uhm... Why bother, Wood? You raving lunatic.
Because I had to! I have known I cannot go on with my journey here or in life right now, without committing my somewhat positive, somewhat harrowing story to the page to exorcize some of the demons I feel stalk me at the moment.
I know. I am aware that this sounds over the top, melodramatic a little sensational. It isn't.
Now that I have outlined my recent experience with quitting smoking and ended up in an even worse predicament with my health because of it. I feel I can plan again, the post will (as so many do for me) act as a snapshot in time which I can measure my life against to test how I improve going forward.
I would rather have this document detailing how I actually feel right now that I can read back in 3 months, 6 months 5 years... Instead of relying on my memory which is pretty poor right now.
Toward the culmination of last nights post I made an uncharacteristic promise;
Tomorrow I will write a far shorter post on why, I am incredibly positive and hugely optimistic about my journey forward, even though it may not sound like it. I promise I am not dwelling and do NOT want pity for anything I have wrote here.
Last nights post was massively emotional to write and in many ways was a sharp coming in to focus of my own tenuous mortality. However when we approach the bottom in life, unless we are chronically unlucky, there is usually only one way to go, right?
I am ready to plot a course from where I am to where I want to be.
It is a far better prospect than stagnation coupled with ongoing deterioration which is where I have found myself of late.
My priority is to try and bring my health conditions back in to normal parameters, this is going to be far from easy but so are many of the most worthwhile goals we can set for ourselves, right?
I am under no illusions. I have been point blank told, some of my conditions will not reverse course.
It may be interesting to know that I do NOT accept that.
I am so much less than interested in the FUD, that is so not my sort of jam.
If a person is willing to go to extraordinary lengths, the kind that most people are not willing to, surely they can reasonably expect extraordinary results, the kind most people could not reasonably expect right?
Even if I am wrong, the long term forecast looks brighter with this framing, right?
If I can achieve my desired outcomes compounded by the benefits that go hand in hand with being an ex smoker, the future looks bright.
You see how I reached that conclusion from the data I presented, leading up to my summary, it sounds fairly reasonable, don't you think.
I know how I would rather approach tomorrow as far as my mentality is concerned. I expect to reverse my diabetes issues. I expect to strengthen my lungs again now that I do not smoke, I never fully accepted the diagnosis of COPD anyway. I fully expect my joints to become reinvigorated with the supplement/oil combo I have begun taking. I expect to lose the excess fat and reduce cholesterol issues and grow muscle and reenergise my metabolism.
I have some rather more complicated issues regarding cortisol in my system that requires some out of the box thinking and an auto immune issue that has caused a particularly aggressive scalp condition a form of psoriasis and 'possibly' psoriatic arthritis causing me issues when my feet take my weight, making the metabolic issue all the more important to solve and drop weight again.
This last part will cause a challenge but challenges can be fun when approached systematically, right?
Either way I make this pledge to myself and state it here.
When this year clicks over to 2024, I WILL BE HEALTHIER!!!
Next up, it seems like my job will close to me shortly as I am not going to be fit for the duties expected of me. Maybe they will make some special accommodations for my conditions for a short time.
Ultimately though, they would expect me to go back to the dire situation that contributed to so many of my issues in the first place.
It is not a feasible long term plan.
So I have other concerns to contemplate. I have been sick from work for a month or so and will run out of company sick pay soon. Basic sick pay will not even come close to paying our mortgage, let alone, covering my youngest daughters accommodation for the last year of drama school.
I am trying to plan out a financial plan that enables me to work from home so that I can focus fully on my health while earning enough to scrape by for even the short term.
I am not very confident on this part, if truth be told. I will try though and see if I can make it work.
And Finally!!!
As old time news readers were kinda fond of saying...
I made one other promise to finish off in this post and it is a BIG claim...
Tomorrow I will give the ultimate secret to quitting smoking, right there and then, my lady and I both attest to its efficacy. Despite everything I have written about the issues I have suffered, I highly recommend smokers quitting, if they can, and of course if they choose/want to ASAP.
I realise that this bit is going to sound overly simplistic and an incredibly basic snippet of advice. Just because it sounds too simple does not mean it doesn't work though.
It is as though something clicked in my head and a couple of things instinctively made sense... Where I had failed dozens of times before this time I succeeded simply and so did m'lady.
I hardly believe I am about to say this BUT when I went to bed and thought about not having a cigarette the next morning.
I realised that was exactly it, the answer was obvious... I didn't think about how was I not going to light one or about how will I cope with cravings or what if I felt stressed, angry or upset...
I simply thought...
No matter what happens. Just don't have a cigarette.
People asked me in the early days, how will you cope with going out socially, or how will you manage passing the smoking hut at work when all your friends are smoking and I always answered the same way.
I already know I am just not going to have one!
I hope you got the nuance in that.
The ONLY thing that mattered is that I already knew I was not going to have another cigarette. EVER!
I could (and can) hardly believe it was ever an issue!
It was as simple as making a decision akin to saying, no thanks I don't want coffee right now...
It was like I had realised that I was in control of making the simple decision not to smoke and I believed the words coming outta my head.
Thank YOU for taking the time to read my post and if you're one of those amazing people who like to hit the comments section... Then I doubly thank YOU!
Either way I want you to know that you are appreciated!
Keep taking the time to connect with each-other both here and in the 'so-called' real world and try and look after each-other, because as you already know...
Yeah, that's how powerful our thoughts are. We tell ourselves what to do.
It sounds like you need a reset. Have you look into a juice diet for a while.
To really detox and get that reset so you can then rebuild yourself again. I'm sure loads of people give you advice, you got to do what feels good to you at the end of the day.
Here's to 2024 being the beginning of a new healthier you xxxxxx
The advice offered with love, kindness and compassion is always so utterly accepted with more gratitude than I can convey in words. I think you are probably talking about the very thing I need to move forward.
I am going to try and use the last quarter of the year to try and find a new level and as you say, if I can be at the cusp of everything I hope for when the Calendar page turns to another year, I can be all the better for me and mine but a better servant for the world too.
You are so bloody appreciated, I hope you know that. Be well and joyful my friend.😎🌻💝
I think it was yesterday that I commented in discord about seeing your lengthy comments lol so I am not surprised by hearing about your 2500 word post. I am not that lenghty but I do tend to post many pictures in a post, often over 20 which are edited from my camera, so yeah it takes fluffing ages!
Smoking, smoking and smoking. What can I say ... well done to you.
On Friday, I celebrate one year of no smoking, woop wooop me! The date the 8th of September might seem familiar it is the anniversary of when the Queen passed away.
I have smoked for many many many years since I was 16 apart from three months in 2001.
Being a Rangers fan, having had to leave Belfast because of the Throubles I am a huge fan on the Monarchy. Having met the Queen as a ten year old I was gobsmacked on hearing the news, and that was the moment I said fluff it, no more smoking.
My health, for months I felt worse and put on weight. Now I don't feel as worse as I did, but I won't lie the urge to have a cigarette comes and goes. Last week I was wanting one the whole week, no idea why, this week with her one year anniversary coming up I don't have an urge to smoke.
Do I enjoy the smell of cigarette smoke when I smell it? Yes
Does it make me want to smoke? No
My advice to smokers is to quit yes and don't do a method, just put it into your head that you want to Stop and do it.
I realised that whenever I drank I wanted a cigarette and no matter what method I would try to quit somoking that unless I was not drinking then it would never work. So on June 22 2021 I quit drinking, actually I have had some drinks since then, but never more than 2 at a time and none for the first 18 months.
Wow, your comments get longer too... hehehehe. And yep, no method is the best method... it's all in the 'head' anyway. 📌😎
hehe cheers my mad brother! Yeah sometimes the fingers get on a roll! It is in the head I agree...
Congratulations on quitting smoking. That's a huge achievement, and what a gift to give yourself! And, I will not be surprised if you prove some of the health experts wrong! With your positive energy, anything is possible.
I do hope your health issues improve, and that you manage to work from home.
As you love writing why not write an e-book? Some of my Hive friends recently published books, and another now is a successful author.
Wish you all the very best @stevenwood!
Hey @lizelle wonderful to cross paths, thank you so much for stopping by and for the kind words of encouragement, they perhaps mean more than you could imagine right now😊
I have been doing a lot of research in to self publishing options in a number of areas. Isn't it amazing how the world has moved on in what feels such a short space of time? I remember my records being phased out for tapes, then CD's, then minidiscs, now music is an invisible virtual bit of info that flies through the air...
Suddenly you and I are here on a blockchain??? talking virtually about publishing a book from home... Sometimes the 'so called' modern world makes my head spin and I don't mean virtually!
Thanks again lovely lady, I am genuinely grateful to cross paths with you, have a fabulous, joy filled week 😎🌞
I quit smoking on 2022 January. The first month is the hardest one, after that you will feel better and better. It's the best decision you could make. Sending lots of support!! 😊
!LUV
@stevenwood, @palomap3(1/10) sent LUV. | connect | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoCongratulations, it really is the best gift you could give your body, especially the lungs. It is heartening to see just how many people are stepping away from smoking, it sets a fabulous message to the children too.
Thank you so very much for stopping by and for the kind words and encouragement, you are appreciated 😎
Absolutely agree with you, it’s our best gift we can give ourselves.
Stay up and happy quitting! You’re now healthier and richer. 😁😘🤗
!LUV
@stevenwood, @palomap3(1/10) sent LUV. | connect | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoHello @stevenwood
This is @tengolotodo and I'm part of the Silver Bloggers’ Community Team.
Thank you for sharing your excellent post in the Silver Bloggers community! As a special "token" of appreciation for this contribution to our community, it has been upvoted, reblogged and curated.
And that thought will help just your little devil inside... and swoop you smoke again.
Rather accept that you are a smoker and that you like to smoke, but it's you (the higher you - your soul) who decides when and when not.
Yeah, talking experience here... 😁
Haha it really is the most insidious of habits. It hijacks the neurons in the brain, constantly makes your hands think they should be reaching for the packet and makes us believe we feel good when we smoke, we do not, it's just those chemical stores sighing.
There is definitely something in that 'higher you' thing because it is as though the second I said "no more" something clicked in to place. The moment I realised it had always been as simple as, I'm not having another, it was so easy (yet not easy at the same time of course haha)
Thank you so much for stopping by it is more than appreciated, happy Sunday 😎🌞
I've often joked about the money I'd save if I quit smoking or drinking coffee, except that I don't do either...
I realise I'm probably quite lucky in that I don't seem to get addicted to things easily. I tried smoking when I was 13, got caught by my dad (an ex smoker turned staunch anti smoker) and never really did it again. I never felt the urge to either, other than some peer pressure. Yet I hear from other smokers how it to them just one cigarette to get hooked.
I admire you and the effort you're putting in to make changes for your health and well being. I know it's not easy. My uncle was diagnosed with COPD and didn't do a single thing to try and help himself. I'm still amazed how long he lasted, considering. He reached 70 in the end, but his life quality wasn't good at all.
Oh you nailed it with that 'addictive people' 'non addictive people thing', there was a spell when I realised that although I had not had a cigarette for a couple of weeks, I had drank alcohol for all but 1 of those days. Thankfully with age and wisdom of who I am, I have started to realise when I am swapping out 1 thing for another and act accordingly.
In many ways that 1 cigarette thing to get hooked is probably where I am at, it's hard to believe that but it is what it is I guess lol.
As the weeks pass, I realise that I can do the things I put my mind too, even at almost 51 I need that reassurance at times, we are all a little more vulnerable to the mind demons than we would like to think.
Honestly, I want to make these things for the special people around me to be honest, I want them of course but cannot bear the idea of being a burden to my family or leaving them too soon.
I'm very happy to see you, wonderful to cross paths. You have been in my mind this week as I look at the sunflowers enjoying the last throes of life as Summer becomes a thing o0f the past here, and I realise that garden post is long overdue.
Wishing all the very best to you and yours from me and mine 😎🌻
I haven't had as much time to read here any more. I've missed it. I saw your nomination in the Silver Bloggers post, so I knew I had to take a look.
I'm a little sad you've not been doing the best, but I hope you continue to improve. Yes, you definitely don't want to be leaving your family too soon. I've recently seen the effects of that with a friend of mine. He was just 57, so not much older than us. My hubby is about your age too. He just beat you to 51 at the beginning of this year. 😄 I worry about his health too as he isn't the best at taking care of himself. Luckily he was never a smoker, but it wouldn't hurt him to drink a bit less often and eat healthier... gosh, this getting old thing isn't fun when the health issues crop up.
I have been working with people on disability pensions since November and it's been sobering to see what people are dealing with. They're all lovely despite the hardships, though. It's been a nice way to step back into the workforce after 20 odd years.
Oh, time! Isn't it the battle that will never be won until... Well, till it doesn't matter anymore.
It may well be that your hubby will listen to one of those intuitive little warning's that the body sends us before it is really an issue. Yeah, I've seen an alarming number of people in the same ball park, age wise, who left a little too early.
It's sad but in many ways the best tribute we could pay to them is to grab on to live and live it fully, while being a little more mindful of the choices we make. As a general rule though, you are absolutely right, aging is not a whole lotta fun. I have always (I mean this sincerely even though a lot of people just say stuff for the sake of it) I have always found you genuinely lovely and incredibly easy to talk to...
The reason I mention it is to say I am happy that some of the people enduring dreadful circumstances are probably incredibly relieved that it is you when they have to share sensitive details of their life. I am very pleased that they have you to help navigate a difficult time.
We have all had to deal with people in 'official capacities' who clearly did not care about the person they were tasked with helping, it isn't fun and for some is downright harrowing.
I hope you find immense fulfilment in having the chance to meet other humans again (they're not all idiots, right? 🤣) in an employment role. I am sure you are indispensable in such a forward facing role.
Your kind words are always enormously appreciated, I am truly happy to know you. Be well, have a fabulous Monday and an even better week to follow 🌅🌻
Thank you. You're making me blush now. 😊 I must confess I probably come off better in written word as I'm much more awkward in real life. 😅
I'm just a cleaner, not a carer, by the way. Although due to the clientele we probably give more duty of care than with standard cleaning. My co-worker says we kind of do some care work as well, especially with the clients who don't always get much company, so enjoy the interaction. You can't help but notice when they are struggling a bit more than usual or if they've had a good week.
I was anxious about going back into a working role, especially as my husband (and many others) experienced some very stressful work environments due to the management. So I was really quite grateful to land this job. The bosses (husband and wife) are really supportive and look after their workers, the co-worker who trained me was great and patient with me and the clients are mostly really lovely. We get the occasional complainer, but they either come round, or if they get really bad the bosses will just drop them as clients.
How's your work situation been? I seem to remember it was putting a lot of stress on you at one point.
Oh we all do, the edit button gives us multiple chances to make the right impression every time we open our mouth, so to speak haha. I am a long term Smiths fan, I couldn't get more awkward, but I own it of course lol.
I have observed often that the people paid the 'big money' to care, care less, of course I don't mean always, but it is definitely a problem.
I swear to you what I am about to say is 100% true and not just a relevant, thoughtful 'somethin' to say' I have been trying to teach my young, impressionable nephew a few truisms about the world to make him the kind of grown up I think would be a gift to the world, as I can see he may be at a fork in the road and could go either way. One of my
'lessons'convo topics as we walk... Was to never prefix certain titles with the word 'JUST'.You know of course, the title 'cleaner' was right up there. (I have done it and may well again for a simpler work life, incidentally I was always an amazing cleaner and took great pride in my role!) The cleaners in the factory I work in are always really lovely with me and say how I am unlike everybody else in that I will take away the filled rubbish bags from the corridors and changing rooms before they come back to gather them all up to take the long walk to the industrial bins in the car park. I am usually going in this direction anyway, I don't claim to be a hero haha.
I tell them, I want no thanks, it is simply me showing gratitude to them for always keeping our area so well managed and looking after us, truthfully most of the workers are pigs and leave stuff on floors, benches and any flat surface, I think they mix these ladies up with their own Mothers!
They work industriously, quietly and often unnoticed, mostly without thanks, which 'could' be offered freely by anyone passing them by... I often mention that we would realise just how much they do if they were not there!!!
Too much again, sorry.
I am happy for you, it is apparent, you questioned yourself after being out of the game for a while. Fabulous to hear you have supportive managers, that is a biggie. You speak with a lot of gratitude about your job, that is telling (and I would expect nothing less haha) I genuinely imagine you to be an asset, I am sure the attitude I know from the 'you', here, translates in to smiles for your clients, that can never be underestimated, although it generally is in life, most people value and put emphasis on the wrong things.
I know you were not demeaning your role and simply made a flippant comment haha but I felt the need to shine a light on those who provide service that is often under-appreciated, ah you know how I go on, I know there is limited time for you to read here, I don't mean to not value your time.
My work situation is in flux, I am sure I will reach some resolutions in coming weeks when I can gain the required perspective for big decisions lol.
Again sorry for the 'stupidly long' comment but do know that I am happy to be back and crossing paths with people I have missed immensely! 😊🌞
You've got this!!! Good luck!
🚫😤🌬🚭🚬
!PIMP
!LADY
!LUV
You must be killin' it out here!
@ninahaskin just slapped you with 1.000 PIMP, @stevenwood.
You earned 1.000 PIMP for the strong hand.
They're getting a workout and slapped 1/1 possible people today.
Read about some PIMP Shit or Look for the PIMP District
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Thank YOU so very much for stopping by and for the encouragement. It is more than appreciated.
The very best aspect of the community here is the way we can spur each other on and we sometimes underestimate the power of even the most passing encouraging words, sometimes they can make all the difference.
Thank you, YOU are appreciated 😎💝🌞
You're very welcome! How are you doing so far with kicking the habit?
Well done, we do have to do everything to look after our health both physically and metally as we hit these silver years.
My friend you are so right!
It is something one should definitely do as a gift to oneself. It is however more the thought of those around me that makes me step back and think that I wanna spend as much of my life with them as I can. Love is a big motivator and reason enough and inspiration enough to tackle even the biggest challenge when centred correctly.
Everyone always thinks gold is where it's at, but I am hugely happy to now be a member of the silverest community out there!
Thanks for having me. 😎🌞
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