Today was supposed to be the birthday of someone very special to me. I had been planning for it for months, but due to several unforeseen circumstances recentlyy, my finances has been completely drained and I am masssively in debt. Over the past few days, I have been in hell knowing that when today comes, I will not be able to even do anything for her, not even to get her biscuit as a gift.
Today came, and I couldn't even wish her a happy birthday, nor physically be there for her, because it hurts on so many levels that I couldn't do anything for her, despite her having made her request since her last birthday, because this same scenario played out then.
(
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Things like this has a way of humbling you and getting you to reflect on the series of events and actions that is cummulatively known as "your life". I have been thinking about mine all day and I can't help several realizations. The biggest realizations is that most of wwhat I supposedly realized today are things I actually already knew a long time ago, but buried in my subconscious in my quest for having a positive outlook on life.
I was thinking about all the lofty ideas I used to have in my childhood/teen days. Then, the plan was to complete my higher education institution education by the time I was 22yrs old, own my house, car and company, as well as get married to my partner by 25yrs old. There was also the possibility of becoming the president of my country at 35. Like everyone that age, I thought anything and everything was possible and within my reach.
Now, I am already older than 25yrs and I am yet to complete my higher institution education. Still without a home, a car, a job and definitely a company, Still dating with no real prospect for getting married anytime soon and struggling to get my next meal. Like all young adults, I have now come to the realization that no matter who or what you are, who or what you know, no matter your religious or political inclinations, you can't have it all.
The generations of nowadays (especially those below 30's) think they can have it all and everything is possible. They will take this mentality into their young adult lives, which will just lead to them putting unnecessary pressure to succeed on themselves. For the weak-minded, this might lead to engaging ilegal activies to become quickly "successful".
If I could advice them all and the next generation to come, I would tell them not to put unnecessary pressure to succeed on themselves. I will tell them to know on time that you can never have it all; that we loose sone and win some. That there's no fixed template or calendar for how their life should go or be lived. I would teach them to live for themselves and themselves alone.
I wil teach them to look into the future and see if all of those pressure, those expectations, hopes and dreams are all worth it. Because, I'm sure they will discover what I seem to have discovered in my own realizations . That having lived a long life and seen old age, a new realization dawns. A realization that none of it matters. At the end of the days, at some adult or elderly age, you realize the dreams, goals, expectations and presssure don't matter.
Finally, if none of it all matters, why go to much length to get that house, car gadgets, thst marriage, that goal etc, why?? Anyways, I probably don't know what I am talking about.
Pressure is, and always has been on each generation in a variety of ways, keep trying and never give up. Life really is about what you make of it, not measured by wealth, cars or homes.
Phone your friend and chat she will understand, it's not about a gift it is the thought that counts.
!LUV
nailed it Joan!
!ALIVE
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Thanks a lot friend. You are right
Keep contact it takes effort keeping friends !LOLZ
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You made some great points.
They remind me of the most wonderful song from The Specials..
Too Much Too Young
People can end up crashing and burning very quickly when they want far too much too soon!
This is a great take and thank you for answering the prompt!
Don't forget to share your post on #threads...
(@tengolotodo)
Thanks. I should check out the song
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Hello @talon12
This is @tengolotodo and I'm part of the Silver Bloggers’ Community Team.
Thank you for sharing your excellent post in the Silver Bloggers community! As a special "token" of appreciation for this contribution to our community, it has been upvoted, reblogged and curated.
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This was from a very simple POV and I liked it. You pointed out that one can't have it all and that's very true.
I must admit that you at least took a step towards planning your future by envisioning it but life always has its own plans.
Damn straight. You plan and life just executes what it does anyways. It's a bit comical
A bit is an understatement. It's genuinely comical but there's nothing one could really don
Yeah. Quite a thing
See you around. Do have a great day ✨
Many times we are rudely awakened to the reality that things don't always go the way we want and that we need to fight to maintain our sanity in a world that's not always filled with roses. I hope you're okay and I want you to know that it's all a phase and you'll have cause to smile over this one day.
I am hopeful. Thanks
Thanks for sharing this with us. I like the message in it and it resonates with me because I'm someone with lofty plans for my future. I had a lot of these plans decades ago and this very moment was the future I thought of back then.
Well, I'm now in that 'future' and I'm still living in a rented apartment. I don't have a job (and I won't be searching for one as far as I'm still in my country, Nigeria). So, all my survival comes from the things I do online and it isn't bad either. I thought I would be married at this age, but going into marriage now would mess up my life and finances. Most importantly, I didn't know I will still be living in Nigeria till this age.
The message in the ending part of your post is crystal clear. Thanks for sharing that with us.
First I think you should stop thinking you dont know what you are talking about ;-)
I really dont understand why you could not call her and wish her a Happy Birthday???? Life is NOT about a home, expensive birthday presents, a car, a job and owning a company! But your wishes can come true on another level, yes. Finding out what really matters for you. And believe me 25 years old! You have all the time in the world
Dont call it marriage - call it finding THAT person I love to spend my whole life with
Dont call it house - call it building a however small or big place, where I can be myself and happy
Dont call it a car - call it something to find a good way to come from A to B, because its A and B who matters, not the ting wich transports you
Dont call it a job - call it finding my way to get money I need, also thinking about what you really need
okay.. a company. I you find the one thing you really love, go for it. If you have the talents, the ideas, whatever it needs, try it. But consider, having a company is not what everyone really would like to have, because it takes a lot of your time.
Finaly - show a friend, that you love, care and listen, instead of dreaming of spending lot of impressing money ideas. If that person wouldnt appreciate this simple gift of littel love - dont call him or her a friend ;-)
Aaahhhh, sorry became a little long my comment ;-) !ALIVE
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Thanks for your comment and thought. Your points are valid Appreciate it a lot.
I did call her eventually. It meant the world to her.
I would not say that dreams do not matter, nor aspirations and expectations. I would rather tell the new generations to try to give more value to what is really important and not to focus on things that are often more material. We all want to aspire to a good quality of life and it is not wrong to strive for it and I am one of those who think that we should not settle. But we must give each thing its fair value, not by having more we will necessarily be happier.
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That's one way of seeing it. Thanks for visiting my blog
I am very sorry to hear you say that you have not been able to meet your goals, I know it is frustrating. But if it's any consolation, not everyone in life can make it no matter how hard they try. We are from that same team friend.
I know. Doesn't make it easier to live with though
Birthday 🎉 Blessings to her Wishing her the Very Best in Life 🙏
Sometimes the way we plan Life might not be the way it's working but we keep Hoping for the very Best 🙏
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Thuo upon there write up it's still consumed ☺️
Thanks for sharing
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