Hola por acá, hoy quiero compartirles algo que me ha venido pasando y que seguramente muchos se podrán identificar. Soy hija única y es difícil. Además, soy mamá soltera de una niña de cuatro años, que también es difícil. Sin embargo, me refugio en las cosas buenas y bonitas que pasan cada día, en Dios y en el amor que siento por mi familia, porque si algo de verdad es muy fácil es amar ellos tres.
Tengo 35 años recién cumplidos. El 28 de noviembre fue mi cumpleaños y este año no hubo torta, no hubo celebración. Lo que sí hubo fue un increíble agradecimiento de mi parte a Dios y a la vida por poder pasar ese día cuidando a mi papá en hospital y que estuviera con vida. Le agradecí que mi hija cada día está más grande, sana, inteligente y hermosa. Agradecí la fortaleza que ni mi mamá sabía que ella tenía.
El trío
Voy a contarles un poco de nosotros, mi papá y mi mamá se conocieron cuando ambos estaban en la universidad. Mi papá caraqueño, hermano del medio, sociable, muy sociable fue a una fiesta de unos amigos de toda la vida. En esa celebración conoció a una oriental, la menor de seis hermanos que años antes se había ido a la capital porque su papá falleció y todas sus hermanas ya tenían su vida hecha.
Empezaron a hablar por teléfono y así poco a poco fueron conociéndose. Mi mamá estudiaba medicina y tenía una beca. Mi papá estudiaba derecho y comenzó a trabajar en tribunales, algo que lo hizo desistir de seguir en la carrera. Sin embargo, el amor que ya se tenían era grande. Pasaron 5 años entre altas y bajas, con una familia que no aprobaba la relación y la otra que pensaba que se había ganado un miembro más.
Se casaron y a los dos años llegó yo, producto de una dieta a base de grasas. Cuando nací solo tenía mi primer nombre Ariana. Ese lo escogió mamá, era el nombre de la protagonista de una novela que ella veía (y vaya que mi vida ha sido una novela). El segundo lo escogió papá Alegría porque fui su mayor alegría en la vida.
Crecí rodeada del amor de ellos, incluso un poco de sobreprotección. Mi mamá siempre estaba trabajando y mi papá estaba ahí como papá pollito. Sin embargo, ambos me dieron las herramientas para defenderme, para ser alguien. Me inculcaron valores, respeto, amor. Estudié, me gradué, viajé, me divertí, disfruté mi vida gracias a ellos.
Pero siempre fuimos tres personas y con los años se sumaron dos perritos, a los que sentí como mi hermano y sobrino respectivamente. Toda mi vida me la llevé súper bien con mi papá, era y es mi mejor amigo, salíamos hasta a rumbear juntos. Con mi mamá encontraba la calma. Ahora 35 años después seguimos siendo tres, pero con una adición mágica.
Hello over here, today I want to share with you something that has been happening to me and that I'm sure many of you can relate to. I am an only child and it is difficult. In addition, I am a single mother of a four-year-old girl, which is also difficult. However, I take refuge in the good and beautiful things that happen every day, in God and in the love, I feel for my family, because if anything it is really easy to love the three of them.
I am 35 years old. November 28 was my birthday and this year there was no cake, no celebration. What there was an incredible thank you from me to God and to life for being able to spend that day taking care of my dad in the hospital and that he was alive. I thanked Him that my daughter is getting older, healthier, healthier, smarter and more beautiful every day. I thanked her for the strength that not even my mom knew she had.
The trio
I am going to tell you a little about us, my dad and my mom met when they were both in college. My caraqueño dad, middle brother, sociable, very sociable, went to a party of some lifelong friends. At that celebration he met an oriental girl, the youngest of six siblings who years before had gone to the capital because her father died and all her sisters had already made a life for themselves.
They started talking on the phone and little by little they got to know each other. My mom was studying medicine and had a scholarship. My dad was studying law and started working in the courts, something that made him give up his career. However, the love they already had for each other was great. Five years passed between ups and downs, with one family not approving of the relationship and the other thinking they had gained an extra member.
They got married and two years later I arrived, the product of a diet based on fats. When I was born, I only had my first name Ariana. That was my mother's choice, it was the name of the protagonist of a soap opera she used to watch (and my life has been a soap opera). Dad chose my second name Alegria because I was his greatest joy in life.
I grew up surrounded by their love, even a bit of overprotection. My mom was always working and my dad was there as daddy chick. However, they both gave me the tools to stand up for myself, to be somebody. They instilled in me values, respect, love. I studied, I graduated, I traveled, I had fun, I enjoyed my life thanks to them.
But we were always three people and over the years two puppies joined us, whom I felt as my brother and nephew respectively. All my life I got along great with my dad, he was and is my best friend, we even went out to party together. With my mom I found calm. Now 35 years later we are still three, but with a magical addition.
Un trío de cuatro
Hace cuatro años llegó a mi vida mi hija, la luz de mis ojos por completo. Ella se ha convertido en el amor y el motor de todos en casa. Al año de su nacimiento, su papá y yo terminamos. Así que ella se ha criado conmigo y sus abuelos maternos. Desde que mi papá y ella se conocieron (mi hija nació en otro país) hicieron una conexión inmediata que hasta el día de hoy sigue.
María Angélica es una niña espontanea, sociable, hermosa, súper inteligente, con esa chispa con la que se nace. Ella logra meterse en el bolsillo a todo el mundo que la conoce y obvio sus abuelos no son la excepción. Todas las discusiones que no tuve con mi papá ni siendo adolescente, ahora las tengo por ella. Aunque en realidad me hace muy feliz saber que la aman tanto como yo la puedo amar.
Hace poco también llegó a nuestras vidas la pequeña giganta Sisudatu, más conocida como Sisu. Es la cachorra de mi cachorra como les digo y vino a alborotar toda la situación. Ella y María Angélica son muy parecidas, unas niñas chiquitas que se ven enormes, bruscas, rudas y a la vez sensibles y miedosas. Inventoras como ellas solas.
Lo cierto es que nuestra vida cambió con la llegada de María Angélica y ya no somos un trío, somos un cuarteto. Y como dice mi hija, con Sisu somos cinco.
¿Por qué ser hija única es difícil?
Cuando tenía como 10 años operaron por primera vez a mi mamá de la columna, aunque esa vez yo tuve que ayudar en casa, no tuve que quedarme en la clínica. Sin embargo, cuando tenía como 12 años, a mi papá le da su primer ACV. Mi mamá ya operada de columna, no podía quedarse en los muebles de la clínica. Así que se tuvo que hablar para que yo pasara las noches con mi papá el tiempo que pasó hospitalizado.
Mi mamá iba en las mañanas con mi uniforme y el desayuno y yo me iba al liceo. Esa fue la primera vez. Después de eso en un período corto, a mi papá le repitió tres veces más el mismo cuadro, ACV isquémico. Todas las veces, estuve ahí y obvio no me pesaba y mucho menos me pesa. Al darle el segundo de estos eventos, quedó con una hemiplejía izquierda, usó bastón, tutor y fue una recuperación lenta.
Cuando cumplí 18 años, mi papá decidió dejar el bastón. Dijo que él no me iba a poder defender con un bastón en la mano. Se cayó mil veces y mil y una se levantó. Mi papá siempre ha sido mi ejemplo de fortaleza, de reinventarse, de salir adelante.
A mis 20, operan a mi mamá por segunda vez de la columna. Ya vivíamos en Guarenas y la operación fue en Caracas. Lo más sencillo era que mi papá bajara y subiera y yo me quedara con ella. Después vino una histerectomía total, ahí también estuve yo.
A principios de este año, a mi papá le da su quinto ACV. Él no quería ir al médico, no quería tratarse. Mi papá es una persona difícil de por sí. Increíblemente su recuperación fue buena, rápida. Sin embargo, hace unos meses empieza con problemas de azúcar. Se empezó a deteriorar, pero no dejaba ni por un segundo de pararse y seguir con su vida.
Hace dos semanas le dio un sexto ACV. Nosotras no estábamos en casa, era una de las pocas veces que no salíamos los cuatro. Lo llevaron a un hospital, en el cual no le prestaron la atención de verdad requerida. Aunque agradezco que lo trataron de mantener estable. Esos días en ese hospital es algo que no le deseo a nadie, absolutamente a nadie.
Falta de medicamentos, suciedad, malos tratos, de verdad que es de las peores experiencias en mi vida. Logramos trasladarlo a otro hospital público también, pero la respuesta fue mucho mejor. Ahí pasó unos días más y fue dado de alta.
Tenemos una semana en casa y no sé si es porque no le administraron medicinas para oxigenar su cerebro desde el principio; pero, esta vez mi papá no es el mismo. Quedó igual que con el segundo con una hemiplejía izquierda, esta vez más leve. No obstante, sus actitudes, su forma de ser, su lucha ya no es la misma.
Solo han pasado pocos días ciertamente y confío plenamente en Dios en que mi papá saldrá adelante, porque es fuerte. Aunque tengo que poner los pies en la tierra, y saber que a lo mejor su recuperación no va a ser completa.
A trio of four
Four years ago, my daughter came into my life, the light of my eyes completely. She has become the love and driving force of everyone at home. Within a year of her birth, her dad and I broke up. So, she has grown up with me and her maternal grandparents. From the moment she and my dad met (my daughter was born in another country) they made an immediate connection that continues to this day.
Maria Angelica is a spontaneous, sociable, beautiful, super smart girl, with that spark that you are born with. She manages to get everyone who meets her into her pocket and obviously her grandparents are no exception. All the arguments I didn't have with my dad even when I was a teenager, now I have them because of her. Although it actually makes me very happy to know that they love her as much as I can love her.
Recently little giantess Sisudatu, better known as Sisu, also came into our lives. She is my puppy's puppy as I say and she came to stir things up. She and Maria Angelica are very similar, little girls who look huge, rough, rough and at the same time sensitive and fearful. Inventors like themselves.
The truth is that our life changed with the arrival of Maria Angelica and we are no longer a trio, we are a quartet. And as my daughter says, with Sisu we are five.
Why is being an only child difficult?
When I was about 10 years old, my mother had her first operation on her spine, although that time I had to help at home, I didn't have to stay at the clinic. However, when I was about 12 years old, my dad had his first stroke. My mother, who had already undergone spinal surgery, could not stay in the furniture at the clinic. So, we had to arrange for me to spend the nights with my dad during the time he was hospitalized.
My mom would go in the mornings with my uniform and breakfast and I would go to school. That was the first time. After that, in a short period of time, my dad had the same ischemic stroke three more times. Each time, I was there and obviously it did not weigh on me and much less weighs on me. When he had the second of these events, he was left with a left hemiplegia, he used a cane, a tutor and it was a slow recovery.
When I turned 18, my dad decided to give up the cane. He said he couldn't defend me with a cane in my hand. He fell a thousand times and a thousand and one times he got up. My dad has always been my example of strength, of reinventing himself, of getting ahead.
When I was 20, my mother underwent a second operation on her spine. We were already living in Guarenas and the operation was in Caracas. The simplest thing was for my dad to go up and down and for me to stay with her. Then came a total hysterectomy, and I was there too.
At the beginning of this year, my dad had his fifth stroke. He didn't want to go to the doctor, he didn't want to be treated. My dad is a difficult person in himself. Incredibly his recovery was good, fast. However, a few months ago he started having sugar problems. He started to deteriorate, but he wouldn't stop for a second to stand up and go on with his life.
Two weeks ago, she had a sixth stroke. We were not at home; it was one of the few times that the four of us did not go out. He was taken to a hospital, which did not give him the real care he needed. Although I am grateful that they tried to keep him stable. Those days in that hospital are something I would not wish on anyone, absolutely no one.
Lack of medicines, filth, mistreatment, it is truly one of the worst experiences in my life. We managed to transfer him to another public hospital as well, but the response was much better. There he spent a few more days and was discharged.
We have a week at home and I do not know if it is because they did not administer medicines to oxygenate his brain from the beginning; but this time my dad is not the same. He remained the same as with the second one with a left hemiplegia, this time milder. However, his attitudes, his way of being, his fight is no longer the same.
It has certainly only been a few days and I have full confidence in God that my dad will pull through, because he is strong. Although I have to put my feet on the ground, and know that maybe his recovery will not be complete.
El amor es lo más importante
Cuando uno es hijo único tiene que hacerse responsable, tiene que asumir. A veces no entendemos lo que está pasando, porque vamos de ser los consentidos a tener que consentir. Además, tener una paciencia enorme.
Ser hijo único no solo se trata de estar en los momentos de salud como comenté anteriormente. Se trata de las celebraciones, de compartir, de tenerlo todo y después de grande querer ofrecerle todo a tus padres.
Sé que, en esta vida, uno no trae hijos al mundo para que se encarguen de uno cuando uno esté mayor o enfermo. Pero si tus padres te dieron todo dentro de sus posibilidades, te dieron herramientas para que fueras una persona preparada, fuerte y con valores, te dieron felicidad, te enseñaron y sobre todo te dieron amor; entonces es normal que tú ya de grande les quieras dar lo mismo o por lo menos una parte de lo que ellos a ti.
Yo no me siento obligada, sino que me siento agradecida con mis padres. Sé que tienen sus defectos, que hemos pasado por muchas cosas y así como ellos han estado para mí, yo estaré para ellos. Incluso en los días difíciles como hoy, que no he podido dormir. Incluso cuando esté muy cansada, incluso cuando me respondan mal, incluso cuando no tengamos o tengamos de sobra, yo voy a estar ahí, porque los amo con mi vida entera.
Gracias por haber llegado hasta aquí y leerme. Les dejó mis redes sociales, por si quieren seguirme:
Twitter: @ariale
Instagram: @arialeval
Tik Tok: @arialerai
Love is the most important thing
When you are an only child, you have to take responsibility, you have to assume. Sometimes we don't understand what is happening, because we go from being spoiled to having to spoil. Also, to have enormous patience.
Being an only child is not only about being in the moments of health as I mentioned before. It is about celebrations, sharing, having everything and then wanting to offer everything to your parents.
I know that, in this life, you don't bring children into the world to take care of you when you are old or sick. But if your parents gave you everything within their means, gave you the tools to be a prepared, strong person with values, gave you happiness, taught you and above all gave you love, then it is normal that when you grow up you want to give them the same or at least a part of what they gave you.
I do not feel obligated, but I feel grateful to my parents. I know they have their faults, that we have been through a lot and just as they have been there for me, I will be there for them. Even on the hard days like today, that I have not been able to sleep. Even when I'm too tired, even when they respond poorly to me, even when we don't have or have to spare, I'm going to be there, because I love them with my whole life.
Text originally written in Spanish and translated by DeepL Translate. Sorry if there are mistakes.
Thank you for coming here and reading me. I leave you my social networks, in case you want to follow me:
Instagram: @arialeval
Tik Tok: @arialerai
What a story! I really admire your strength to go through so many obstacles in life and still be so positive and full of energy. Life is never easy, some people get more obstacles in their way, but you're coping well. I wish you all the best, fast recovery to your dad and Merry Christmas if we don't bump into each other till then.
Thanks you so much, I try to run things the best way I can. I used to live very differently and I had no way out and no peace. Now that I see things differently, I have a much happier life in spite of everything.
Merry Christmas to you too and thank you so much for reading me.
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Thank you!
Truly an incredible story.
And like @erikah said, your strength is inspiring.
Directly from Brazil, we wish your great father a good recovery.
Have the best Christmas, the best new year.
Your love is wonderful, it is pure, there is nothing better than the pure love of your own family.