WHAT I DO TO BE THE BEST I CAN BE IN MY RELATIONSHIP

Running a relationship takes two people from different background and history. It really takes a lot to make it succeed. The individual has lived most of his lives with a family he has come to love and cherish, he has been taught some values and holds most of them tenaciously. Some of these values may not be appreciated by another partner because he has been raised differently. That not withstanding, what can individuals bring to the relationship to make it work? How can i be the best in my partner's life?

RESPECT EACH OTHER'S SPACE
Both of you deserve to have your space and your quiet time. When a mate wants to be left alone in his thought, or just doesn't want to bond at the moment there should be a mutual understanding to accord each other that time to be alone. That is not
a time to nag him into giving up that for you. Often times, I allow my partner his time and I too have my quiet time, provided when he comes to make sure I am alright, I let him know there is no problem, I just want to be left alone 😃

HONEST COMMUNICATION
Couples who are open to each other thrive better. No matter how ugly and unbelievable the matter may be, give him/her the honour to hear it first from you. Things gets worst if he/she finds out and it is then you want to explain.
A woman was showing affection for her colleague, another woman's husband. She told him not to let the wife know. She even buys presents for his kids but always encourage the man not to tell. The man, however never stopped telling his wife everything. One day, the wife told him to let that other woman know that she knows everything. When this woman came again with more presents for the man and his children, the man told him that he had always told his wife and shows her everything she brings him. "My wife is my friend and we do not hide anything from each other", the man said. The woman, embarrassed and angry, called him a baby and blocked his line instantly. She rushed out of the man's office and that was the last time the intruder disturbed the man. What would have become of the marriage if the man never told his wife at home? I always tell my partner my worries, fears and other things I know would affect us if he hears later.

COOPERATION
When couples cooperate, they stick together. Cooperation is highly needed in a relationship, especially in the area of training the kids and managing the finances of the home. When my kids misbehave and their Dad reprimands them, they no longer bother to keep a long face to let me know when i come. This is because i will not support or exonerate them. I will always let them know that their Dad mean well for them. Even though, I know i might later let their Dad know that his measure was harsh ( on the days it was really harsh 😃). I remember the day he flogged one of my girls many strokes for falling Agric Science 😃 I watched him do it, i was pained in my heart but i allowed it. Later, I told him in the room away from all ears that the strokes were too much for Agric. Hahaha. He said, ok, how many is recommended for different subjects? 😃. Well, he later saw that he went too far but I never supported the girl. I only told her if Daddy could be this unhappy with Agric, She should know what would happen to her if she doesn't sit tight in other core subjects. Now her grades are very good and she laughs sometimes when she remembers.

On finance case, cooperation is also needed, else the family would run into trouble. I support my home in every way I can. I dont believe one person is responsible for something, anyone that has can support. Who says a man must pay the fees? If he is broke nothing bad to give him the money to pay it or even transfer to the School and surprise him that you have paid. I know when he has, and wants to refund, i will get interest. Hahahaha.

Due to cooperation, Hubby cooks. Sometimes he cooks more often. It got to a point I said, "Is it that I cant cook again? Why have you been the one cooking?" But he lets me know that he enjoys doing it especially at weekends or when he has so much on his mind and needs some other activities to clear his head. So, I just sit down and enjoy.

COMMITMENT
There are many things to bring into a relationship, commitment is one very important spice. If you are not committed, the relationship won't last long. Commitment does not only mean that other guys are disturbing you and you stuck to your mate. What about when his family offends you? What about when he too offends you greatly? Do you still stay? Hitting a woman is not part of this please, I wont stay. Hahaha. But what about other ways he offends you. I still remember when my Daddy died, my Husband was not there at the burial. I cried so much on the burial day and he wasnt there, and said I wont go back to him after the burial 😃. Its been 13years after the burial and I am still here.😃 When unavoidable official circumstance occurred and my family understood and excused him, why will i not return? 😃 Who has died was gone, should I end my marriage? I later saw reason with him and even felt sorry, no longer anger 😃, and when hebecame available, he went back to do the needful.

GODLINESS
No one is perfect but it is important to bring in Godly qualities into a relationship. A couple should be prayerful, a home that prays together stays together. We pray well in my home. Hmm,although sometimes we pray, especially at night, I sleep off 😃. After everyone had said Amen, I am in trouble if no one heard mine. Hahaha. All the same, I remind my family, "lets pray, before someone will say I was sleeping"😃 . So we pray and before leaving home in the morning, we pray together. At weekends, we join in evangelism.

Another godly quality I try to bring into my home is MILDNESS. A lot from the children and even a husband can drive wives crazy sometimes but with mildness, things are handled better and everyone is allowed to explain what they meant rather than misconstruing it. The Country is very hard and harsh now, anything can get one upset, but with mildness, I am coping better and not having high BP on issues. When the kids, say "rice again", sometimes I tend to shout to remind them that others have nothing, but with mildness, I am better able to teach them to appreciate what God provide and be grateful. 😃. No one can put me under pressure 😃. I live my life as I see it, one day at a time and relate with people when i see relatable ones😃. The ones so bitter with life, I encourage or avoid. 😄

Like i said earlier, there are so many things to bring into a relationship, this post will be too long if I begin to enumerate all. Besides this challenge is almost ending.

Thank you @kenechukwu97 for this month's topic of the thinkers corner contest. I am glad to participate, even at the eleventh hour. Hoping to see more from this community next month.

Thank you friends for the visit.

Image source here editted with photo editor app.

Madam Adoore. Haha. You always spit facts in your post and it's even better when you are sharing something about your life. I've always been very proud of the way you speak about your marital lifestyle and it's a pleasure to get these insightful tips from you.

You know the part I like the most? I really like how you don't get antagonistic when your husband is disciplining the kids. Mums do that a lot and it makes kids to grow up seeing their Dad as a devil. Your approach is commendable. I genuinely respect that 👍.

There is so many lessons in this post and it gets better after each one. I'm glad you joined this challenge and I'm really learning so much from you. Hehe.

Thanks so much, Adoore Madam.