Many people view the start of a new year as a fresh opportunity to outline their dreams, ambitions, and resolutions for the upcoming year. When we announce of our goals, promising ourselves and the world that things would be different this year, that declaration carries a sense of urgency. However, as the months pass, many of these resolutions disappear, leaving behind feelings of guilt and failure. It makes me wonder if our resolutions or hopes for them make us feel disconnected.
Over the years, I've grown wary of resolutions, not because they lack merit, but because they frequently feel like demands disguised as promises. Resolutions are typically rigid and binary: either succeed or fail. Unhappiness frequently motivates them, leading to the assumption that we must change to earn our own acceptance. Lose weight. Write the book. Quit your job. Find a job. Be more. Do more. It's no surprise that so many resolutions fail because we feel pressured to make them instead of making them for a purpose.
Instead, I've grown to see intentions as a better option. Intentions are flexible and stem from curiosity and not criticism. They do not question, "What should I fix?" but rather, "What do I value?". They allow for growth, change, and adaptation to life's unpredictability. Intentions encourage us to check in with ourselves on a frequent basis, asking, "Does this still feel true?". They value the journey and not just the outcome.
My Journey from Resolutions to Intentions
For many years, I made resolutions with the same excitement as everyone else, only to become disillusioned by February. The goals I set frequently felt distant from my reality. They were ambitious but felt cruel. They did not reflect who I was but what I believed I ought to be.
Instead of vowing to transform myself, I asked a more straightforward question: "What do I want to feel this year?". The replies astonished me. I did not want to feel accomplished or impressive. I wanted to feel connected, curious, and peaceful. From there, my intentions flowed naturally.
I have set three intentions for this year that align with my values. The first is to improve my writing skills. Writing allows me to explore my curiosity, express myself, make sense of the world, and communicate with others. By devoting time to practice and growth, I hope to find my voice more fully and share stories that are most important to me.
The second intention is to strengthen my relationship with God. Faith has always been a pillar in my life, but it's easy to let it fade into the background of daily life. This year, I plan to make it a priority. Through prayer, Bible reading, and reflection, I hope to ground myself in faith and experience the peace of God and let it guide my actions and decisions.
The third one is to help my children develop their own faith journeys through connection with one another. As a parent, I've found that setting a positive example is the most effective approach to teaching. If I want my children to understand the value of faith, I must demonstrate it in my life. This means providing opportunities for Bible reading and praying, honest conversations about God and faith, and times of thanksgiving.
An Invitation
This year, instead of making resolutions, I ask you to explore your intentions. What would it be like to go through the year with curiosity instead of criticism? What if you prioritized recognizing who you already are over self-improvement? What if you set goals that align with your values, allowing for rest, failure, and progress? The New Year is neither a finish line nor a starting block. It is a continuance, like turning a fresh page. And in the empty space that follows, we can write our stories with care, intention, and the peaceful realization that we are already enough.
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Once again, I resonated deeply with this. The urgency that comes with the new year and the feeling of failure when you can't fulfil them like most of us do in like the second week. This year, I talked about intentionality. I said that this time, I won't take it like a do or die affair, but be more intentional about the things I love and the things I want to see in me.
Thank you so much for writing things that push people to want to be more of themselves and not be pressured by the world. And Happy New Year. You're amazing.🥰
Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and for getting to the heart of the post. Isn't it a relief to let go of the do-or-die mentality and instead approach change with intention and grace? The transition from rigid resolutions to a more conscious, intentional way of being helps us to progress at our own pace and focus on what is actually important to us rather than striving for perfection. I like what you stated about being intentional about the things you value and want to see in yourself. That's a lovely approach to frame growth: based on self-compassion and curiosity rather than obligation. It serves as a reminder that even when progress appears to be slow, the journey itself is worthwhile. Thank you for your kind words on the post. They really mean a lot. Writing it was as much a form of self-reflection for me as it appears to have been for you to read. And a happy new year to you too! May this year be full of experiences that bring you closer to the person you are becoming. You are also superb! ❤️