Does the title of this post sound like a bold — or even cocky — statement to make?
By some measures, it definitely could be taken that way.
But we could also dive into the practicality and remember that maybe we're already up to our eyeballs in alligators, and we simply don't have room to add anything new to our plates, because doing so would simply tip over the tenuous existence we have already managed to assemble, and which we are now trying to build.
So the statement isn't really about saying "I've already got it all figured out," but about acknowledging that "I'm already DOING it" and not allowing societal or peer pressure to upset our carefully designed apple cart.
In a sense, it brings me back to my youth, and one of the lifelessons my dad passed along when he told me "just because everyone else is doing — or wants to do — something, doesn't mean it's right for YOU!"
For all their other shortcomings, one thing of great value my parents taught me was to think for myself, even when doing so seemed to set me up to be moving against the flow. The teaching was that either I would self-discover that I was "doing it wrong" and find my way back to the flow, OR I would discover that the predominant flow was actually wrong — or less than ideal — and chart my own path.
Sometimes I can't help but wonder how he would feel about the life I have managed to carve out for myself.
After all, there's a bit of a conflict there, in that he valued the traditional accomplishment, success, status and money approach to life, but he also valued making your own choices.
For me, that turned out to be that the latter inadvertently resulted in abandoning the former when I chose dump the idea of a career in the corporate world for a barely sustenance level life of self-employment.
People — especially people from my "old" life — have sometimes misunderstood my choices as an expression of rejecting money and material wealth... but, trust me, I am not choosing financial struggle as a lifestyle statement, I am simply choosing to work in ways that would not destroy my soul and spirit... and likely would have landed me in hospital with bleeding ulcers and a heart condition at age 40.
My solitary and cooperative (rather than competitive) nature, along with my naturally slow processing speed, was simply never a good match for the fast paced, competitive, multi-tasking, teams oriented mainstream world.
It is likely that I would have "done better" (in the traditional sense of the world) had I had more popular/mainstream hobbies and interests to turn into home businesses... but part of the process for me was always about being honest about who I am and where my strengths lie... but also acknowledging and being honest about my many weaknesses and shortcomings. That part is typically much harder for people...
As a wise person once pointed out to me, that while most people tend to be clustered around what we might call "the norm," it is a natural part of the human experience that there will also be those who very far from the norm... but the mere fact that they are does not mean they are somehow wrong or defective, as people.
And I'm really grateful with that explanation, and OK with it.
And so, perhaps the only thing I am really "resolving" here is to endeavor to continue becoming a better version of who — and what — I already am. Hopefully there is some version of The Great Big Is And Ever Was that acknowledges that as "enough" and affords me the ongoing ability to continue without perishing into nothingness!
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great New Year's celebration!
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Created at 2024.12.31 10:59 PST
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Thanks for sharing your post. It’s refreshing to take a break from thinking we always have to chase after something new, especially when life is already so packed. Just being ourselves and working on becoming better feels way more real than going after random resolutions. I really relate to your thoughts on carving your own way, even if it doesn’t match what society expects. Finding the right mix between being ourselves and dealing with what others think can be tricky, but like you mentioned, it’s all about sticking to what makes us feel whole. I really liked the idea of just being ourselves, with all our strengths and weaknesses included. It's a great reminder that success looks different for everyone, and just being true to our values is a win on its own. Thanks for this awesome post - it’s a great way to kick off the New Year! 🎉
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Thanks for the kind words!
I think society pressures us far too much to go after some pre-prescribed goal, and what we actually want is forgotten, in the process.
Happy New Year to you!
I usually just joke that my resolution is my monitor or TV pixel count. I finally upgraded to 1080p a few years ago. I am not spending money to join the 4K club.
I think it was Frank Zappa who said that without deviation from the norm, progress is impossible. There was also an Isaac Asimov short story entitled Profession about outliers and progress. Check your library for the latter in a short story collection and the former in Zappa's autobiography.
That's funny (Re: Resolution).
Yes, unless people are willing to ignore "what we already know" sometimes, we'd never invent anything new, and the species would likely have atrophied to death a long time ago...
@denmarkguy, you're rewarding 2 replies from this discussion thread.