As the year comes to an end I can’t help but remember all the people that have left the face of this earth. The more I think about it the more I understand the fickleness of life.
You know how they say people grieve differently? That’s absolutely right, people truly grieve differently.
This post was inspired by the conversation I had with my friend yesterday.
This friend of mine lost his best friend who is practically like a brother to him, it’s been a while now but lately, it’s been so hard for him.
I can’t say I understand how he's currently feeling because losing a friend is one thing but losing one’s best friend? That’s on another level and I haven’t lost such a person in my life before.
I wasn’t as close to this friend of his as he was but I too cannot take it sometimes. Whenever I remember how we lost him, all the memories we shared, and the vacuum he left, it makes me feel sad.
My friend had his moment at his best friend’s funeral when he cried his eyes out but afterward, we saw him getting stronger and handling everything so well little did we know that he was only living in denial.
He has had some little triggers here and there as he and his best friend went almost everywhere together. It was like that type of friendship where you see Mr. A at a place, you look further and you see Mr. B in sight.
Being asked the same question about the whereabout of his friend over and again by people was always a big blow to him. Having flashes of memories of him in almost everything he does has been heartbreaking.
Yesterday he went to a birthday party and the questioning started again. He met a mutual friend of theirs who couldn’t help but express his pain about his friend’s demise and so did other people. The questions and pep talks became one too many for him to bear.
In his words “IB I was suffocating, I couldn’t breathe neither was I able to face all these people”. He had to leave the party immediately and getting home and thinking about everything broke him.
You know when they say men don’t cry? Trust me when they eventually do it it’s heart-wrenching to watch. This friend of mine had bottled up so much, that he couldn't take it any more, so he exploded last night and it wasn’t a good sight to behold.
We spoke for hours on the phone yesterday but he spent close to an hour trying to describe how he was feeling, I heard how he struggled to use different illustrations to describe how he was feeling but nothing could aptly describe how broken he was.
It was so sad to hear him talk and not have any reasonable thing to say as I was also dealing with my own emotions and making him know about it would have added to his pain, all he needed was someone to listen to him talk of which I did listen.
My question is, how do you comfort a person who is grieving (without having to sound all cliche with the sorry's, I understand how you feel, when you don't even really understand how the person feels) How can you refrain from sounding like what they’ve heard over and over again?
Do you just stay mute and only listen? Or do you have to behave in a certain way?
I’d really love to get some answers in the comment section.
Penning this down here was a bit refreshing as I needed to express myself even though it wasn’t to my friend but to you all😃
I pray God heals my friend and gives him the grace to get through all of this in one piece, and also fill the void that was left by the demise of his best friend.
All images are mine except otherwise stated.
Thanks for stopping by
Loads of Love🥰🥰
XOXO
Loosing a close loved one is really disheartening. I empathize with your friend and I hope that he will get through this phase soon.
For your question on how to comfort a deeply grieving person, hmm, sincerely for me, I refrain from saying "sorry" or "I understand" rather I stay mute allowing the grieving person to pour out all the emotion they can as that would help them heal better and come to terms with the current situations of things. After the emotional ride, I do the work of an encourager by letting the grieving person understand that this is a phase of life but it will get better with time.
Thanks for your concern Becky, your tips are really helpful my darling thank you again and again and compliment of the season🤗
You're very welcome dear 🥰
I might not understand fully what your friend is going through, but from your write-up, I can tell that he's really hurt.
I recently attended a ladies forum in our church, and these same questions you asked were part of the questions that were asked, and from the few answers people that have lost people close to them gave, it was
*Just be around them; you might not really say anything to them but show them love as much as possible. If you are far away, call or send a message often.
The message must not be an epistle. Something like, Hey, how are you doing today? Just checking up on you and always available if you ever need someone to talk to.
*If the person is a Christian, you can send them scriptures reassuring them of God's words.
Ohh I love this one so much, I will have to refrain from writing epistles moving forward.
Thanks for your kind words !lady❤️
You are welcome 🤗