Image by Bananayota from Pixabay
Writing this to relieve some stress, get my head in the right direction, and most of all because Stayten said I would get the most awesome badge when I post here.
Currently, I am argh, "uninspired" can't write or do anything else productive in Hive 😭. So, I am writing out of my head straight to the page unsure how this will turn out.
I have some kind of "anxiety disorder" that is what I heard it was called. There is probably a better term for it.
I worry and overthink too much... to the point that it impairs my "social skills".
Result(s):
I fail as a human in socializing. I am always consciously worrying about what I do or say or just plain anything (vice versa). A lot of my relationships romantic or not got broken by this.
I grew indifferent to people over time.
I learn to do everything myself without anyone's help.
In Hive, it is mental torture to just write, post, comment, upvote, or talk to people then worry all day if what I said is well received.
It takes me a lot of time and courage just to check comments and notifications.
Talking to people in real for me is just saying what I need to say and keeping everything simple. But being in a community and wanting to help makes it hard to do—and very worrisome.
It is impairing, seriously I just want to stay in my room. 🤣
But,
Looking out a window there are things I want to do or need to do and experience.
I love to write (even if writing does not love me back right now), read and I want to learn new things.
In real life, I cope with it in an unexpected turn of events. I cared and fell for someone then, later on, married her. This didn't solve the problem it actually made it worst, instead of just fearing and worrying for myself I now worry for two people (plus kids).
One day, I came home and just said, "I am sorry, I tried but I failed miserably." I just lost everything. I am prepared for the consequences, who would stay with a man who can no longer feed his family. I wouldn't!
I got nothing, no plans, no brilliant ideas, no future... I failed.
What I received back was a warm hug and a kiss saying "Everything will be alright." The next months I did a lot of odd jobs but those pay a little bit better than 💩 posting.
Anxiety and fear always overwhelm me, overthinking that I will fail along the way, but knowing that even if I do "fail miserably" it will be fine. I have a home.
In Hive, I _____ a home and a bunch of dysfunctional "friends" of sorts. This gave me a lot of courage to push through, experiment, explore and keep doing stupid things. Thinking, even if I fail as a Fiction Writer, a Knight, a Citizen, a Noob, a Bookworm, a Redfish, a Curator, or even as a Pimp.
It's fine, I can always go home and say, "Ghad guys, I failed miserably! you wouldn't believe..." then know they will still accept a failure or maybe not 🤣.
All links go to Wikipedia.org. The pictures and the banner in this post were made or taken by myself, ©@khoola. In the cases when they were taken from other sources I stated the source in the sub-caption of the pictures.
You know I was curious about this post when I saw your name on the title. It really was about you then.
The thing over thinking doesn't help anyone. You will discover time flies and you never really get around to doing anything.
Again, it's okay to fail, dust yourself, and rise again. I have the courage to say this because I know I never really finish anything in my life but I keep going
Since you are already a book worm, I would encourage you to read the book, Mastery by Robert Greene, you'll see that you are not alone in this.. all you have to do is return to your inclinations and you'll find the peace, joy, and fulfillment that you are looking for.
Please, stop overthinking, and just write the way you did this one. Stop overthinking and just get shit done without caring about what everyone else will say. Clearly, everyone is thinking they suck too, therefore, suck at it, and do it, that would be the difference between you and every other person.
Always remember, you have the support of your family, and our support here too. ❤️❤️
This👆 Our girl Iska is bang on the money with this one❣️ she is very wise. You should definitely listen to her💗And us dysfunctionals are happy to be there for you whenever you need us hehe. Thought I'd add that I actually love this post of yours. Stop worrying about what others think...just write...I'm learning to stop overthinking things too much....actually that's a lie !ROTFL... you would be surprised how many overthinkers there are out there... they are often the ones that care the most. Just don't let it stand in your way of being 💖
@khoola
By the way... cool badge sent 🤘
Thank you very much! 🤩
@khoola
Well... you can't always believe, everything that guy says! (Kidding of course!!). Your post resonates... I am sure it does so, with many people. Not only here, on the blockchain. But in life in general. We learn a lot from our parents... and my Mom (still does to this day) said, "I'm sorry" quite a bit. So of course, I too, said it a lot. I still do, but now it is said in a different way. Sorry, with an understanding of knowing how to make things better... Make things more positive... I could go on and on, but I won't. (sorry!! haha). Let me just tell you this... your energy is very in-line, with what my mindset was for my community. Keep spreading this positive energy, and know you are welcome to post in my community anytime...
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Thank you very much. I would love to post here :)
i will always here for you whatever happens and whatever you want to do
There are many of us that have all these symptoms, I wish I could offer some meaningful advice, but I can't, just know that you are not alone.
↑Upvoted↑and←Reblogged→
No worries, I'll handle it like a pro... just needed to clear some space in my head.
Thank you very much! I know 😁... see you at The Terminal sir.
MABUHAY KA!
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Yung totoo?
My very first downvote is given: at 0.0% will not affect the person as my rep is lower. Just to get attention and to send an opinion.
Reason:
I don't like very respectable and highly reputed person leaving open ended questions. It bothers me a lot specially if the question is. "The Truth?"
Been waiting for a reply and clarification for the questions.
From the person s own words "a downvote is an opinion."
Hope this is well recieve 😁
Congratulations. my minimum requirement for me to foolow someone is to have them comment on my post. Why? because I don't know how to follow anyone back then unless they comment. Been a habit ever since.
Got no idea what you are talking about? or you're question is too broad that it is really hard to answer. Can you elaborate on the question?
Disclaimer on the post: "I have written it from my head to page, and unsure how it will look like" and I use the proper tags to indicate what it is about. Just so you know I didn't write that in my best mental state.
So, what is it you want to know?
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