I want to believe that you've heard this age-old adage that says, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." This is more like a golden rule, a societal norm, which emphasizes gratitude and respect towards those who have in one way or the other helped, supported or provided for us. Doing so could portray the person as an ingrate, disloyal and lacking in self-awareness.
But I want to ask;
What if that same hand turns against you? What if it forces itself into your mouth, trying to choke you, or points at your face in a threatening manner? Would you still adhere to the rule, and allow the hand to harm you? Or would you react in self-defense, maybe bite the hands to protect yourself?
What would you do?
For me, I will go with the later, which is reacting in self defense, and then wait for the castigation that may come afterwards.
You may be wondering why I would choose to do so. I'll tell you.
My life and my dignity are worth defending, and I will take whatever measures necessary to protect do so. I will not hesitate to prioritize my well-being and safety over any obligation to anyone who would seek to harm me.
Granted, being appreciative to those hands that have fed you is the right thing to do, but it should not be misconstrued as a justification for tolerating abuse, manipulation, or control. It is wrong to accept that.
While gratitude is important, it's not more important than your safety and well-being.
Helping and lording it over them
People should understand that just because they've helped someone, it doesn't give them the right to manipulate or control that person's life. Helping someone shouldn't be seen as a means to gain power or dominance over them. Not only is it morally wrong, it's against societal norms, so I believe.
Unfortunately, some individuals develop a sense of entitlement or ownership over those they've assisted, leading them to overstep boundaries and try to dictate the person's actions or decisions.
When the person being helped tries to set boundaries, the helper, instead of respecting the person's choices, often responds by calling them ungrateful, disloyal, and all whatnots. This reaction is unfair and manipulative.
Everyone deserves respect, independence and the freedom to make their own choices, regardless of the help they may have received.
Respecting boundaries shouldn't be too much to ask for. Or is it?
Apparently, it is, especially for the kiss and tells - these individuals who, after any slightest misunderstanding with the one they've helped, would go public with their "litany of generosity,". They'll share every detail of their assistance, to anyone who cares to listen just to gain sympathy and portray the other person as ingrate. This is nothing but emotional blackmail.
What petty and selfish behavior!
I see this behavior always play out in my office environment and I feel so sad that genuine kindness and help are being exploited for personal gain and to manipulate others.
I'd rather you didn't show me kindness at all than have you go tell it to the mountains, over the hills and everywhere, afterwards - or at the least misunderstanding
Keep your kindness and I'll keep my dignity
Thank you for reading
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True kindness does not ask anything in reward. :) If it blackmailing someone because of their offered generosity, then it not genuine because that someone is expecting in return. You only give help because of love, mercy and gratefulness perhaps.
I totally agree. Kindness should be shown with no ulterior motive.
Thank you for reading through and sharing your thoughts.
!BBH
Can relate to this👆, and that's exactly what I did.
It was a good read, you are absolutely correct.
Oh, that's beautiful. We can't continue to allow these kiss and tells have their way.
Thanks for coming around.
My pleasure
I agree with that approach, it is good to help; but it is not good to throw help in the face, or to use it to hurt the person who has been helped. Help does not give the right to abuse and that should be understood by every person in any type of relationship, every time our dignity is violated there will be a reaction.
Best regards.
I love this. Helping and rubbing it on the person's face is totally wrong. It's better the help isn't offered at all.
Not at all. When that is done, then it's no longer help but slavery.
Exactly. Even the little ones would fight back too, when their self worth is threatened.
I appreciate your visit and insightful contribution. Do have a great day.
I still don't understand why someone would offer to help someone only to become hostile to them just because of a little misunderstanding which is a normal thing to expect when dealing with humans. It is the highest form of manipulation.
My dear, my eyes have seen it countless times. Human beings are unpredictable
Sorry to hear of these difficulties, life and people are challenging.
No doubt about this. Thank you
I think some old sayings will not remain applicable forever. We have seen in recent times that some hands that feeds people can be the ones posting about feeding you on social media too.
Exactly, times are changing, same with everything. Some people have turned offering help into business. It's so sad.
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Thank you!!
That was exactly my thought, and this is nothing but guilt-trick, and emotional blackmail. I detest those who act that way. Arrghh!