Have you even heard calls to "buy gifts for the orphanage"? NEVER DO IT!
The thing is people don't understand how great mistake they make.
To tell you the truth, I often participated in such activities too, but some days ago I read an article of one of the most famous and wise psychologists in Russia Lyudmila Petranovskaya, who has been studying kids psycholody all her life and exactly orphanhood for 20 years.
And she says: do not participate in this farce.
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WHY?
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- In large stores, there are calls to buy gifts and leave them in a special place, and then they will be transferred to an orphanage. This is a cynical marketing campaign, its goal is sales. Your gifts, even if they reach the orphanage (not a fact), and then kids get them (not a fact at all), they will not help them anyway. They need a family and a normal life, not toys.
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These gifts will be broken, thrown away or exchanged for cigarettes and beer overy soon. They are offensive to children, because their meaning is: we don't need you, live in your orphanage forever, but to feel good becuse I've helped such poor kids, I will buy them a toy and sweets.
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Gifts instill that orphanhood is a privilege, that everyone owes them, although noone loves.
Then it takes years for adoptive parents to overcome the consequences of such an attitude.
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This is sabotage, not charity.
⠀ - Even worse is what colleagues call a "petting zoo". When all sorts of singers, deputies, other VIPs or just bloggers come to an orphanage to take pictures with kids. To arrange a holiday for children, "ignite joy in children's eyes."
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Do not support this use of children, do not participate in this circus.
Kids understand what is happening. And they have an opinion about how the world works, about how much lies is there instead of real feelings and responsibility. It is very difficult to live with such a picture of the world.
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If you do not have a personal relationship with a child from an orphanage, if you are not going to establish and maintain them all the time, if you are not a source of protection and care for him, do not show such "care".
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What if you really want to help?
You can support professionals and public organizations that try to do their best to help all kids find FAMILIES AND REAL LOVE.
There was an old episode of MASH where this was one of the plots. One of the hospital surgeons was angry this his gift of candy to an orphanage was taken by the director and sold for money which he used to buy food for the orphans. The surgeon later realised that the gift of food was far more important than candy and would do a lot more good.
yes...it's just to the case. They need not sweets...
As with anything else, when charity becomes commodity, it becomes corrupted. I've been told "charities were much less corrupt when they operated through the church," but I'm sceptical of that claim, given that the church is also a corrupt institution - also one that loves to use children as sock-puppets in more ways than one, but that's a rant for another time.
Oh, yes, church is corrupted more than anything else now..
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