Have you ever been accused, abused or chastised unjustly by someone older? When he finds you innocent of his claims, did he tender an apology? In some cultures, adults apologize even to little Babies, they treat them as fellow humans with feelings but in some other cultures, adults hardly apologize to younger ones. They are hardly wrong, even if it is glaring. Could it be inherent in them not to apologize or is it because of pride or ego? How do we teach our kids if we as adults hardly admit our mistakes and apologize?
When I was young, I made a mental note that I would always apologize to my kids when I accuse them falsely because my parents never did. They were wonderful parents but that unapologetic side of them, I resented.
Somehow, I managed to cope because it happens once in a blue moon and when it's does, I would always have a sibling come to my aid; admitting the wrong, thereby freeing me but still no apology from my parents, not once. How sad.
Worse of was an incidence that happened on the day I resumed work officially in a School, some years ago. Before resuming, I was asked to come on the vacation day to help distribute report sheets to students which was actually meant for a Corper. She ended her NYSC few days before that vacation day. So on the vacation day, I was handed the report sheets which I distributed to the parents accordingly. At the end of the day, the School went on three weeks vacation.
I officially resumed on the first day of a new term. I took over the subject and classes the Corper left. A parent had come to the School with the report sheet of his son to complain about a mistake in the computation of his Mathematics. I never knew this.
As I sat in my space, trying to familiarize with the Scheme of work and the textbooks on my desk, a student walked into my office and informed me that my Boss needs my attention. Quickly, I jumped up from my seat and followed her.
As I opened the door of my Boss' office, I saw the man and his son, my Boss was there along with other senior teachers. The student who had come to call me was present as well. Just when my greeting fell on the ears of my Boss, his response was "YOU! So, simple Mathematics you don't know? How can you make such a silly mistake?" Pointing to the report sheet, she continued "How on earth can 10+15+30 be equal to 35?"
It was then I knew that the Corper had made a mistake in her computation. 10+15+30=55, not 35. But I didn't check the results before giving them out. Was I supposed to vet instead of distribute them?
I tried to explain that I wasn't the one who compiled and computed the results, but he lashed out again "Will you take this result away and go and correct it? Stop embarrassing yourself".
I almost fainted out of shame and disgrace.I am innocent. I just took the result away and closed the door. Immediately, tears rolled down my cheeks. "Is this how they behave here? I am an adult and educated as he, how can he humiliate me this much in front of students, for what I know nothing about?" I thought to myself.
Just then a staff called Edith appeared. She was a pleasant lady who comforted me without knowing what happened. She reminded me that I am in a School environment, "what if students see you crying?" she asked while trying to comfort me. . She took me to the nearest rest room where I had enough freedom to cry on her shoulders. I told her the whole story and she took my side. She assured me that it's not my fault but I should go and correct the problem. I did, I scored the child the appropriate mark.
I brought back the result and my Boss said "Be more careful next time". I decided to explain to him that I wasn't the teacher, I was only asked to distribute it. I had no right to vet or crosscheck the scores. Besides it was my first day. Instead of being remorseful, all He said was "All these are excuses, I hate excuses. You may go".
I left, still sad that He refused to get the point nor apologize. However, the parent upon leaving his office came to mine to beg that I should not take it hard on his child. He admitted that he didn't have the details earlier, else he would have come directly to me instead of going to my Boss. I can not remain resentful with my Boss else I would not enjoy my new-found job.
Ever since then, I take apologizing seriously and never allow anyone to accuse me falsely without baring my mind. No matter who you are, dignify others, give them a chance of fair hearing. Be humble enough to apologize when you wrong someone. It is a noble quality when you accept your fault and apologize. But when people hardly apologize when they wrong you, take it as life experience and move on.
Thanks @hive-naija, this is my entry into the prompt for this week.
Thanks guys for stopping by.
Yours @adoore-eu
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I wished our parents knew the kind of example they portrayed by being unapologetic. The good thing is you unlearned that aspect.
We have to unlearn if we really want to inculcate better virtues into the hearts of our children. Thanks for stopping by
Lovely piece. I could relate to it. So many times growing up, I have noticed that adults are quick to dish out blame but slow to apologize, that's if they even do. It is a big fault of adults and I arrive to be better. Thank you.
That's true, just as we are quick to condemn them when they do bad than commend when they do good. We just need to treat them right, whether younger or not. Thanks
The way bosses humiliate workers and feel entitled is something else honestly
Too bad. As if they didn't advertise for the vacancy 😄😄😄
😂😂
This reflects some aspects of my life as a child too.
That's why those words are called magic words, because they have the power to change feelings and emotions.
Most bosses would always feel they deserve the apology at all times, but it's not right.
Thanks for sharing friend.
Respect is reciprocal, any one who thinks he deserves apology should be ready to apologize to others when they have a cause for complaint, that's how it is supposed to be
Thanks for the visit
You're always welcome.
I've heard that saying multiple times and I've come to realize it's very true.
I felt goosebumps reading this because I would have reacted the same way, getting embarrassed in the front of other staff, parents and even a student on the first at work would definitely leave me broken for that day.
I am glad you had someone on your side and you made a strong decision. Good to have you back, it's been a long break.
Happy Sunday to you.
Thanks Bro @george-dee. It's one of those things people who are in higher authority do to their subordinates. But thank God I have grown past that now, if it happens again anytime, I definitely know better how to absorb the shock because I have experienced it before 😃. Thanks for stopping by, it's really a long break. Can I get a welcome meal? 😋
Sorry about your boss and offer self-righteous people who believe they can never be wrong. I call them sadists. !hug
I sent 1.0 HUG on behalf of @whitneyalexx.
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