When I was younger I used to be fascinated by a lot of things. Something moved, and I wanted to know why, something glows and I wanted to know where the light comes from. My eyes always lit up whenever I got to the bottom of things and I can't describe the joy it brought. I think this curiosity ultimately contributed to how I found myself in Engineering.
But recently though, it is almost as though that spark is nonexistent. I can't even put a mark and point out the exact time this happened but nowadays everything just feels bland.
I miss the old days when even the smallest of things fascinated me. I'm still relatively young, and it makes me wonder how it must be for much older people. But then, maybe I am an outlier of some sort because I have spoken to a couple of people my age, and even though we are in similar situations, it feels like we are in two completely different worlds. It is crazy how one's thought process can completely mould the exact same scenario into completely different things.
At this point, I feel like there is nothing new that interests me. I am obviously not naive enough to think I have experienced everything, there's still a whole lot to experience. I'm guessing this numbness Is coming from a place of wanting to skip to that next part now. It's sort of like playing a repetitive video game. At first, you really like it and you're enjoying the gameplay, but then if you start playing it every single day for like a year nonstop (if that is even possible) it'll obviously become less interesting and just be more of a grind than the relaxing act it was when you first started (I wonder how video game streamers cope with it). That's the best analogy for the situation right now.
At the end of the day, there's not so much to do. Writing this was just to clear my head I guess. It is to keep working on this phase while preparing and making sure I set up the next phase properly.
THANKS FOR READING
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I find this post so relatable because I'm at that stage of life too, where nothing intrigues me. And like you've rightly written, I know there's definitely and will be more to see, but until then.
Another thing I find that creates this numbness for me is burn out. For overly inquisitive people, we tend to be naturally more creative, wanting to explore all that passion and creativeness in us, which most often than not, leads to burnout.
The best advice I've ever gotten is taking life step by step. And yeah, hopefully, that next phase renews our curiosity and facination.
Thank you for sharing.