We've all had that moment when someone, or even we ourselves does something to get us pissed. It could be something small like someone stepping on your foot or telling you something you find disrespectful, and sometimes it could even be when you expected someone to do something and they didn't do it, or when you plan something and it doesn't go according to plan. That feeling of anger is no stranger to any human, it is a natural phenomenon. However, different people react differently when they are angry. Usually, people's reactions fall under either expressive or silent and I am no different. I tend to fall silent when I get angry.
I can't really remember when this became my response to anger, but I do know when I was very young I used to be very vocal when angry. Over time though, I noticed that being vocal may not always be the best way to react when angry. Being vocal led me to a lot of physical and verbal fights as a kid. I have a loud voice when I speak out, and people often mistake it for anger, so even before I get angry I could have already agitated or intimidated my opponent. Making things a lot harder. I noticed that when I said less the situation escalated less more often and so slowly I started to gravitate towards that.
Before I knew it things changed completely. Now if I'm angry I just bottle it up and try to let it go. Perhaps when I am a bit less angry, If I care about the person I may come back to the person and tell them I was angry at so and so time about so and so. If I don't, I'd just try to avoid the situation repeating itself ever again by setting up the required boundaries. Is that a healthy way to live? I don't know to be honest, but it has saved me from a lot of fights and arguments over the years and so it has become a part of me.
The downside is when people continue to do the thing that makes you angry because you didn't show your disdain.
These days though, there's been less and less reasons for me to get angry. I don't know maybe it's an age thing, or maybe a mindset change thing, but It just feels like before something can really get under my skin it'd require a whole lot of effort from the person trying, or a very exaggerated series of events that I can't even piece together. I like that though. Life is a lot more peaceful and better when there's less things getting on your nerves.
In the end, anger is a part of life, we just need to control it and put it to good use, or atleast prevent it from making us take rash decisions. I found that for me being silent was the better path. For some letting it all out could be even better. How do you react when angry? Are you silent or expressive?
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A very good topic. For me silent is in most of the cases the best answer agains the rage. It's give to the other person the opportunity to make a reflection about what is doing and if it's good or not 👀
And at the same time I'm like you, there's few things that can make me feels angry 😡🙈